Maxis Taste Dare #30: I Do!
You see the dude standing off to the right? That's Yardsley's little brother.
And this is what he and his own fiancee did during the ceremony:
His father is glaring at him on my behalf:
Ellen serenades her hubby after the wedding. Awww...
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From the announcements section of the Bluewater Post:
‘Mr. & Mrs. Stephen Tinker of Bluewater Village proudly announce their daughter Melody was joined in matrimony yesterday to Mr. Yoda Wardsback, late of Backwardsville. The newlyweds were married at the Tinker family home and plan to reside there with the bride’s parents.’
Gen Y wedding 2: Melody Tinker + Yoda Wardsback
So...yeah. Because Mel & Yoda's rude kicky-bagging behavior at the other wedding irked me, I denied them the chance to have their own ceremony. Or invite friends. Or throw a big party. Or dress up. Or anything. At least Stephen came home from work in time to witness it actually happened, HA!
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Bonus wedding: Remington Harris + Tristan Tinker
I had this bright idea to make Wanda Tinker a plantsim and see how ugly the spawn could be. I've done it before and wasn't disappointed this time round. But then what to do with the thing. Aw, why not get him hitched too? Tristan quickly fell for the hot young guy that cleaned the family toilets. And Remington became a part of the family (and a transvestite, though I never did find any nice formal dresses for him, so you'll only see him wearing suits in these shots).
Awww, Tris wuvs his little Remi! <3
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From the Society section of The Backwardsville Register:
'It’s a Cinderella story we can all dream of! Miss Kaylynn Langerak was working as a maid in the Lillard household when Cupid let loose his arrows and pierced her employer’s heart. Miss Lankerak was joined in happily wedded bliss last week with Xingu Lillard, one of the heirs to the Lillard Toilet & Fine Clothing Emporium. In attendance were the bride’s parents and several members of the Wardsback family, who are related to the Lillards through marriage. Miss Langerak has already quit her job and the happy couple hope to start a family right away. Notably absent: Lucy Handby, who is now the only maid left in town. She sent a gift of a used toilet brush to remind her former coworker of all the toilets Miss Handby will now have to clean by herself.'
I felt bad for Lucy after this. Once Kaylynn & Remington were moved into the hood, Lucy became the only maid in town. Poor thing.
Gen X wedding 1: Kaylynn Langerak + Xingu Lillard
What's the first thing Kaylynn does after getting hitched? Swoon over her father-in-law, of course.
Guests:
Right. So here's where I started to get fancy. I thought it'd be cute to take an official wedding portrait of the bride & groom and whichever else family members happened to live there (in this case it's Xingu's parents Brandon Lillard & Yasmeen Wardsback).
Course I had to learn some things the hard way:
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From the announcements section of the Bluewater Post:
‘Yesterday afternoon Mr. Xenon Tinker was joined in matrimony to Miss Sandra Roth of Riverblossom Hills. The bride wore a simple purple gown designed by the groom's uncle Remi Tinker-Harris while the groom wore a suit from the Lillard Toilet & Fine Clothing Emporium. In attendance were the groom's parents, the Tinker-Harris family, the Wardsbacks, the bride's brother and his fiancee, at least two aliens, a llama, the entire Elder Zombie Witch clan, and Drew Carey.’
Gen X wedding 2: Xenon Tinker + Sandra Roth
Um. Apparently this wedding was so exciting I forgot to take pictures of it actually happening. So this is all I got:
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From the Society section of the Backwardsville Register:
'A wedding in the Far East? How about the Faux East! Popular couple Xian Lillard and Violet Jocque were married in style this past weekend at their Asian-themed home. I know what you're thinking. Was sushi on the menu? Alas, no. This reporter had to contend with burnt pork chops and a slice of stale Jacquet bakery cake. Still, the party was a roof-raising success as these are two of the nicest, friendliest sims you'd ever hope to meet. It's too bad they can't throw a party everyday. But wait! They can! And they are! Ta-ta dears, I'm off to kicky-bag til my feet fall off.'
Gen X wedding 3: Xian Lillard + Violet Jocque
(Sit down, Daniel! This aint your wedding!)
The Summerdream siblings break out the kicky bag:
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From the 'Other Side of the Backwardsville Tracks' News:
'Yesterday Miss Xenia Tinker got herself hitched to Xander Roth. It was a plum kickin' affair. There was cake (the good stuff; not the freezer frozen leftovers you usually get at these types of weddings). It didn't snow. The couple wanted to wait for a June weddin but because the bride got herself all knocked up, they had to do it soon as possible. The bride didn't go into labor during the wedding neither, which is a good thing cuz they couldn't afford no nanny after renting their fancy dancy gettin-hitched clothes.'
Gen X wedding 4: Xenia Tinker + Xander Roth
Seriously they (read: I) spent the last of their cash on the wedding arch, the bricks on the wall, the flowerpetal terrain, & their wedding clothes, all so they could have a nice, purdy portrait.
This is how poor they are. They could only afford four seats for guests.
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This one wasn't in the paper. I don't usually let my romance and/or pleasure sim couples get married but for some reason I made an exception for these two. There was no party. Just a sneaky exchanging of the rings in a back room of their home around midnight while no one was looking.
Gen X wedding 5: Xerxes Rodiek + Roxie Sharpe
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From the Society section of The Backwardsville Register:
'It seems like only yesterday that yours truly was writing about the wedding of lucky Miss Ellen Frost to her beau Yardsley Wardsback, and yet here I am years later, covering the wedding of their granddaughter and heir to the Wardsback fortune Miss Willow Dennis to eligible young fairy spawn, Puck Summerdream. Oh thank goodness for the elixir of life! Besides myself, only the most important members of the Wardsback clan were invited, as well as several dormies after Miss Willow threw a tantrum and her parents gave in. Shockingly absent from the proceedings: the Elder Zombie Witch clan, who were created by the Wardsback family generations ago. No word yet on whether Elder Zombie High Witch Priestess Sarah McCarthy plans retribution, but I'd hold off a couple days on sending your congrats to the happy couples, just in case something might happen...
No zombies showed up to the wedding. I was disappointed. There's usually at least one zombie at all the Wardsback weddings, but not this time. I guess they were too busy making Baked Alaskas.
Gen W wedding 1: Willow Dennis + Puck Summerdream
Willow's worn nothing but pink since she was little (she always grew up into it). So I figured she'd have a Pepto-Bismol wedding, too. I threw in some yellow for the groom's sake.
Guests:
Remington, looking seriously displeased about something (perhaps jealous of Willow marrying hot Puck?).
Meadow, probably wishing she was at her own wedding:
Puck & Willow, with her parents Xavier Wardsback & Noelle Dennis.
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From the obituary section of the Backwardsville Register:
'Mr. Remington Harris passed away at home yesterday after a brief encounter with fire. He was 72. Mr. Harris was an artist of some note in the community, having designed a line of gowns for the more feminine male, as well as many different potholders. Mr. Harris leaves behind husband Tristan Tinker, three daughters, and two grandchildren.'
Gen W wedding 2: Weaver Dennis + Marsha Bruenig-Harris-Tinker
It started out smoothly...
Marsha's employers bought her feigned sickness so she was able to get off work for her wedding...
All the guests came and found chairs (well, almost of them found chairs).
A cousin picked a fight with an aunt...
And the party moved indoors. And Remington tried to make a Baked Alaska.
Because someone (ohnotmesurelyno) forgot to put a fire alarm in the kitchen, the groom had to pull out the trusty fire extinguisher he always carried in his pants.
But alas, it was too late...
And to top it all off, poor Tristan couldn't ge through the mass of idiots hanging around the entrance to the kitchen, discussing baseball and other non-life-or-death matters, in order to plead with Grimmy for his beloved's life.
Remi's granddaughter cleans up the mess in order not to spoil the party further, heh.
Marsha & Weaver. RIP Remi Harris-Tinker.
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From the Society section of The Backwardsville Register:
'Miss Emily Lee was joined in marriage to Mr. Winthrop Wardsback yesterday. The reception was quite a letdown after the last Wardsback wedding, in that no one died or beat anyone up.'
Gen W wedding 3: Emily Lee + Winthrop Wardsback
Little Valencia Summerdream thinks she's a flower girl.
Guests:
Emily & Winthrop with his parents Mitch Wolosenko & Xena Wardsback.
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From the Society section of The Backwardsville Register:
'Did that really happen? I thought I attended a wedding yesterday. I thought I dressed up. I thought I remembered the bride and groom kissing and everyone applauding. But when I woke up this morning, I looked at the calendar on my computer and discovered that today...is yesterday. My phone said the same thing. And so did Xanthippe Wardsback when I called her to ask about her daughter's wedding, which I attended yesterday. "What are you talking about?" she said. "It's this afternoon!" Did I dream the whole thing? Is this some sort of weird, Groundhog Wedding Day?? What sort of time warp am I caught in? I contacted Dr. Nerissa Inada, downright ugly sim & leader of the Nerd hangout Aspirational Laboratories for comment. Dr. Inada said: "It's a common feeling for sims to belive something has already happened when it hasn't. Some mothers believe they've already given birth to a baby boy only to suddenly realize they're going into labor again. This happens over and over until the mother gives birth to a baby girl and the vicious cycle she's been caught in finally stops. Or a sim believes they've died in a fire and suddenly they're alive again and have a very strong urge not to do the thing that caused the fire in the first place. It's like they've been given a second chance, like there's this way to go back in time and replay things until they turn out the way you want." Well I don't know what Dr. Inada's talking about. Maybe I've just attended so many of these Wardsback weddings that they're all starting to blur together. I need a vacation. And a drink.'
Gen W wedding 4: John Mole + Wynonna Wardsback
So this wedding happened...but then it didn't.
Weirdos.
The pirate song is starting to spread through the hood. Inevitably some idiot will start singing it at family gatherings.
John Mole, Wynonna Wardsback, and mother-of-the-bride, Xanthippe Wardsback (Wynonna's dad is a certain ex-maid who died stupidly in a fire because his husband couldn't be bothered to yell at the crowd to MOVE).
Here's where crap went wrong. Apparently if you freeze all the adults on a lot, the social worker alarm is triggered.
I unfroze John to see if that would help, but it was too late. They lost their daughter. And I lost control of the game...
The Social Worker's van was frozen on the lot. I couldn't access buy or build mode to move the sims, or do anything. Their toddler was gone anyway, so I exited without saving. Hence, the wedding never happened...But at least I got some pictures! :)
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From the Backwardsville Mystics Magazine:
'Edwin Sharpe, head of the local vampire coven, was joined in unholy matrimony under a full moon with Meadow Thayer-Harris-Tinker, late of Backwardsville. Presiding over the wedding was Elder Zombie High Witch Priestess Madame Sarah McCarthy, while her minion Neil Cameron served as Best DeadMan. No llamas were sacrificed during the ceremony, though a society reporter from The Backwardsville Register was eaten for dessert.'
I couldn't find anyone for Meadow or Edwin to marry, and because their relatives were already in the family, my rules say I have to play them too. So I made Edwin immortal & moved him in with the elder zombie witch clan. Then Meadow moved in, also became immortal, and drove me crazy with her 'Have a baby' whining. There are a couple other siblings of premades who will be joining Edwin's coven soon (Angela as a vampire? Yes!), but first they have to graduate college. ;)
Sarah, Edwin, Meadow, Neil, & unholy offspring Razor Sharpe.
And just for fun, here are a couple more wedding portraits, though they don't include premades so aren't part of the dare:
Xerxes & Roxie's son Wilford marries downtownie Lainey (the one who wears the bowling shirt)
Xenon & Sandra's daughter Wednesday marries streaker Manuel (he kept his clothes on for the ceremony; I was impressed!)
