lives are meant to be lived
my cat mindy has cancer. she only weighs 6 pounds now, but is full of energy and has a shining, beautiful black coat still. she's got a little stub of a tail cause it was infected when we found her and had to go. she's been one of my best friends ive ever had for over 16 years so far. she is the first thing that i ever noticed was alive. just one day, i saw her walk into the kitchen out of the hallway and i was like "oh my, she's alive. look at her. something is clickin and moving all inside. bones and muscle of course, but something more. oh, so much more." and that awareness of things and life and breath and swaying forest and moments and such and such is probably the most exciting thing in my life. (when you really see something for what it is and it is completey humbling and amazing all together). well, it all started with mindy when i was ten. she's in no pain and some people might think it is weird to care about a cat so much. but im really sad. whenever i've been sad or anything she does things like come over and meowing to just say "hey, i'm here, you're here, life's hard sometime, but hey, we got everything that we always need all the time." and she never lied. she likes to sleep under my parents bed, under the china closet, or on the dog's bed usually. never in my room when it is empty. but the night before i came home last she slept on my bed all night, like she knew i was coming the next day. then she spent the majority of the next five weeks sleeping right beside me. not at your feet like lots of cats, but right next to my heart. she'd wake up and eat breakfast and then come back for a few more hours. then when i'd wake up she'd always hear me stirring and walk back into my bedroom from where ever she had been in the house and meow a purring hello to me. i love her. she's so great. when i was a young'n i gave her a full name of mindy 'mitten, velvet' boyd. my sprit animal is a cat. she was probably a close sister in a past life, or maybe even a friend that travelled through the forest with me three centuries prior. we'll find each other again. im sad.