(no subject)

[sammyboyd]

so i left portland about 2 weeks ago. i'm sad and not really sure how i feel right now about leaving the pacific northwest, i felt so comfortable with who i am there and everything just felt really alright. i went to arcata for three days and immediately made some of the best friendships i've made in a while, saw beautiful trees, land, and oceans, and really really loved those three days. then i drove 16 hours to salt lake city, slept for 4 hours, drove 18 hours to kansas city, said goodbye to kevin which was sad cos he's a nice boy, then drove thru the night for like 20 hours to philadelphia, dropped pete off at the greyhound and fell asleep soon after at my friend's house. philly was big and scary at first and made me feel weird, but then it turned really awesome. i made new friends, saw old friends, had really good experiences, and wish i had stayed longer. now i'm in worcester and its okay. i feel strange and awkward. i feel like i am not going to be able to be myself. hopefully i just need to get settled. i'm sad that i left the northwest mainly because i love the atmosphere and i made all sorts of friendships in that whole region of the country which were the nicest friendships ive made in a while but didnt have quite enuff time for all of them to bloom fully. so yes, ive grown a lot in new ways and had been feeling really comfortable and conscious of all these things inside of me, and now for some reason, i am scared i wont be able to feel all those good things here. but i always have a hard time when i get to a new place. the only time i didnt was when i moved to hawaii, but there's a lot of magic there that isn't other places. so i am sure everything will be just fine, it always is. if it is not, i'll find a way to fix it. for sure!

i really like space, fruit, cats, kissing, healthy food, and friends right now.