post grad life
wow, well I guess through all these years it amazes me that I still have not managed to delete this thing. In fact, it;s a bit refreshing to look back at my entries and think about the different stages of my life that I've been through. Now, I'd like to start a whole new chapter featuring my post grad life.
Holy shit, I graduated from WWU. I can't even believe where I am in life right now, like honestly. I graduated March 21, 2015 so it's been a little over a month and a half and I am still unemployed in my dream career path but did manage to snag a job at the gap store at the mall by my dads house. Living with my mom after living away from my family for 3 years, 1.5 years of which I had my own apartment, to myself. So much indepedence, gone. It's kind of ironic how through all of the years I hated how much my mom used to drink but now I'd prefer her being drunk so I can avoid having to actually bond/associate with her. She's not as bad as I make her out to be these days but the past is something that cam never be erased and let's face it, our past is nothing of the ordinary.
Anyways, of course my parents are silently judging my current job choice but I'm making money so they can just keep quiet. In case anyone was wondering, I do still see my side piece and even more frequently now that I moved to North Seattle and he stays in the south. It's been a little more than 2 years now and still playing it off as if we are barely even friends even though the word homies get thrown out a lot. This man is so intent on hiding any feelings, if he has any at all but then again its like why does he insist on never letting me go? He always hits me up after a week or two of no contact, expect for that one time at the beginning of winter quarter.Either way, it's actually kind of nice what we have because I can basically go out and do whatever I want with whomever I want and still have him on the side as well. Not that I think of him as a side piece, even though that's basically what he is. I do love him though, I swear to god I have been in love with that man since the first week we met. But after awhile, when that same love isn't being returned, the heart begins to slowly let go. I've been with many men, certainly not all them were quite men yet so I'm definitely not afraid to reach out when I crave that feeling of being wanted. Sometimes, its nice to have a distraction.
I recently reconnected with this guy who was like certainly more than fond of me after my last birthday party, which at the time I had no interest in him despite the fact that he made me (and a few other friends) breakfast the next morning in hopes of winning my heart but I just played that shit off like it was nothing. The second time I ran in to him which was about a week ago, something was different about him. Like he grew up or has been through some shit since the last time I saw him. When we were waiting to sit down for dinner, I caught him looking at me and not just checking me out, it was something stronger than that like I could see the admiration in his eyes. When we were being seated at the table it just so happened that he was sitting directly across from me and we happened to be on both side of a private two person table that was pushed up again a 4 person table, it was almost as if we were on a date hahaha. I could sense the nervousness in his demeanor and we both somehow came up with a reason for Elly to switch places with him because for a split second, I too felt a little nervous to be sitting across from him. I couldn't stop making little glances at him during dinner and could feel his eyes on me too. We all kicked it on cinco de mayo and of course I quietly had my eyes on him all night. He's still a little immature but I pretty much yelled in his face and told him what he needed to hear about the choices he's been making. Not sure how I feel about the videos Elly has of me because I sound like a drunk, worried girlfriend. However, let's just see how tomorrow night goes. I am determined to at least tug at his emotions and feelings just a little bit while also getting his hopes up. Oh yah, forgot to mention there is quite a big age gap between us, a little bigger than I'd like to mention. However, at age 25 I am finally realizing age really doesnt matter
Until next time LJ,
Holy shit, I graduated from WWU. I can't even believe where I am in life right now, like honestly. I graduated March 21, 2015 so it's been a little over a month and a half and I am still unemployed in my dream career path but did manage to snag a job at the gap store at the mall by my dads house. Living with my mom after living away from my family for 3 years, 1.5 years of which I had my own apartment, to myself. So much indepedence, gone. It's kind of ironic how through all of the years I hated how much my mom used to drink but now I'd prefer her being drunk so I can avoid having to actually bond/associate with her. She's not as bad as I make her out to be these days but the past is something that cam never be erased and let's face it, our past is nothing of the ordinary.
Anyways, of course my parents are silently judging my current job choice but I'm making money so they can just keep quiet. In case anyone was wondering, I do still see my side piece and even more frequently now that I moved to North Seattle and he stays in the south. It's been a little more than 2 years now and still playing it off as if we are barely even friends even though the word homies get thrown out a lot. This man is so intent on hiding any feelings, if he has any at all but then again its like why does he insist on never letting me go? He always hits me up after a week or two of no contact, expect for that one time at the beginning of winter quarter.Either way, it's actually kind of nice what we have because I can basically go out and do whatever I want with whomever I want and still have him on the side as well. Not that I think of him as a side piece, even though that's basically what he is. I do love him though, I swear to god I have been in love with that man since the first week we met. But after awhile, when that same love isn't being returned, the heart begins to slowly let go. I've been with many men, certainly not all them were quite men yet so I'm definitely not afraid to reach out when I crave that feeling of being wanted. Sometimes, its nice to have a distraction.
I recently reconnected with this guy who was like certainly more than fond of me after my last birthday party, which at the time I had no interest in him despite the fact that he made me (and a few other friends) breakfast the next morning in hopes of winning my heart but I just played that shit off like it was nothing. The second time I ran in to him which was about a week ago, something was different about him. Like he grew up or has been through some shit since the last time I saw him. When we were waiting to sit down for dinner, I caught him looking at me and not just checking me out, it was something stronger than that like I could see the admiration in his eyes. When we were being seated at the table it just so happened that he was sitting directly across from me and we happened to be on both side of a private two person table that was pushed up again a 4 person table, it was almost as if we were on a date hahaha. I could sense the nervousness in his demeanor and we both somehow came up with a reason for Elly to switch places with him because for a split second, I too felt a little nervous to be sitting across from him. I couldn't stop making little glances at him during dinner and could feel his eyes on me too. We all kicked it on cinco de mayo and of course I quietly had my eyes on him all night. He's still a little immature but I pretty much yelled in his face and told him what he needed to hear about the choices he's been making. Not sure how I feel about the videos Elly has of me because I sound like a drunk, worried girlfriend. However, let's just see how tomorrow night goes. I am determined to at least tug at his emotions and feelings just a little bit while also getting his hopes up. Oh yah, forgot to mention there is quite a big age gap between us, a little bigger than I'd like to mention. However, at age 25 I am finally realizing age really doesnt matter
Until next time LJ,