Hello there.
Hey everyone. Its been so long, I cant belive it. i actually used to update like a lot, but I havnt since then.
I mean, lets think of all the things that have happend since I last updated.
1. The musical came and went.
2. Prom
3. I graduated
4. Birthday
5. Ending of the era that is Sam and CJ
I guess I will go through all of these
1. God I miss musical. I loved putting all of my efforts into it. I just miss it so much. I miss seeing everyone every day, and I miss being close with Katrina, and I miss the early mornings, and the late nights at the school. I know it was a lot of work and I didnt really see anyone, but it was my work, and to me it was fun. I really friggen miss it. If I could repet one thing in my life, I would repeat this. We were a family, and now the family is over. I really miss it. I really miss AL.
2. Prom. Dear lord. Peter, Jack, Caroline, Lindsey and Chris Das all played a few songs at prom. So that was deff. the highlight, or possibly the worst part. I dunno. They all sounded good, but all they played were slow songs, and so I had to basicly sit alone the whole time. Well, except when Jack played titanic. Then Peter came down and danced with me, and I dont think he knows this, but the whole time all I did was cry. I hope he didnt see it. But all I could think of was him leaving. Leaving to go play the next song, leaving to go on vacation, leaving to go to school. He was (notice I say was) one of my closest friends, and I couldnt bare the thought of him leaving. Now of course, since school is over we havnt talked in like forever. Hes prob to busy with Gina. Whatever, its not like I actually care. It just hurt like all those times when hed tell me how amazing she was and how much he wanted her. I dont know what it botherd me so much. I mean, the fact that he asked her out right before me and him went to prom kinda botherd me. I mean, what if she said yes? How awkward would that be?
Its just kind of annoying that whenever he needed something, llike help with music, or help with advice, or chorus or whatever, or even just being willing to do whatever he wanted after prom...and him telling me how important I was to him...and now that schools over, im dropped? Dont mind me saying this, but I dont really feel like a "good friend"
Iv been trying my best not to talk with him, and to just try to forget about him, I mean, that will make it easier when he leaves right? Wrong. I miss him. He actually was a good friend of mine. He hasnt even written in my year book yet. When we were at the yearbook signing, he came up to me and asked me to write in his, and I just gave this look of "i cannot possibly think of what to write" so we decided that wed do that later. I doubt that later will ever come.
Wow...that turned more into a thing about Peter then anything. I guess I just miss my friend...
Whatever.
I dont want to talk about prom...it only got worse.
3. Graduation. Well everyone I graduated. Fun stuff huh? I could in theory go on and on and on and on about my feelings toward that but i dnot have the emotional strength right now. I really donnt. Lets just say this, anyone who ever said that graduation is a happy day, is very wrong. Becuase untill the day I die, I will see my high school graduation as the last day of the best years of my life.
4. I got a tattoo for my birthday. Enough said. I got like 509275027 facebook comments saying happy b-day, and 457207 phone calls, but really...the one phone call i wanted? I didnt get. You all know what it was, and if you dont, refer to previous statements.
5. Things are totally done with my and CJ, if you guys didnt know. Its not likes it been easy. But I thought we were both miserable. That was the impression I was given. Do I regret it? No, things were not working out. Do I miss him? Yes. I miss him, he was my best friend in the world and I loved him. But that dosnt mean that it should go back to how it was. Sometimes love just isnt enough. Sometimes there just isnt anything you can do. He deleted me from facebook, LJ, and AIM im pretty sure, i guess he just dosnt want to talk to me anymore. That really hurts. Being cut out of his life. Maybe some day he will miss me. But for now, if he dosnt want to talk with me, I cant do anything about it.
There is so much more I could be writing about each subject, but like I said, Im too tired.
I did so much exercise today. It makes me feel good.
overall however, I guess you could say Im pretty happy. I meean, its summer time? What could be better? I mean, there are some bad points, but overall things dont seem to terrible.
Tomorrow is my special day with Dan. We're hanging out all day, and hes letting my pick whatever I want to do.
I cant wait.
I <3 Dan.
Hes such a good friend.
I fucking miss erica.
This is not ok.
I need to see my wife.
Now.
I mean, lets think of all the things that have happend since I last updated.
1. The musical came and went.
2. Prom
3. I graduated
4. Birthday
5. Ending of the era that is Sam and CJ
I guess I will go through all of these
1. God I miss musical. I loved putting all of my efforts into it. I just miss it so much. I miss seeing everyone every day, and I miss being close with Katrina, and I miss the early mornings, and the late nights at the school. I know it was a lot of work and I didnt really see anyone, but it was my work, and to me it was fun. I really friggen miss it. If I could repet one thing in my life, I would repeat this. We were a family, and now the family is over. I really miss it. I really miss AL.
2. Prom. Dear lord. Peter, Jack, Caroline, Lindsey and Chris Das all played a few songs at prom. So that was deff. the highlight, or possibly the worst part. I dunno. They all sounded good, but all they played were slow songs, and so I had to basicly sit alone the whole time. Well, except when Jack played titanic. Then Peter came down and danced with me, and I dont think he knows this, but the whole time all I did was cry. I hope he didnt see it. But all I could think of was him leaving. Leaving to go play the next song, leaving to go on vacation, leaving to go to school. He was (notice I say was) one of my closest friends, and I couldnt bare the thought of him leaving. Now of course, since school is over we havnt talked in like forever. Hes prob to busy with Gina. Whatever, its not like I actually care. It just hurt like all those times when hed tell me how amazing she was and how much he wanted her. I dont know what it botherd me so much. I mean, the fact that he asked her out right before me and him went to prom kinda botherd me. I mean, what if she said yes? How awkward would that be?
Its just kind of annoying that whenever he needed something, llike help with music, or help with advice, or chorus or whatever, or even just being willing to do whatever he wanted after prom...and him telling me how important I was to him...and now that schools over, im dropped? Dont mind me saying this, but I dont really feel like a "good friend"
Iv been trying my best not to talk with him, and to just try to forget about him, I mean, that will make it easier when he leaves right? Wrong. I miss him. He actually was a good friend of mine. He hasnt even written in my year book yet. When we were at the yearbook signing, he came up to me and asked me to write in his, and I just gave this look of "i cannot possibly think of what to write" so we decided that wed do that later. I doubt that later will ever come.
Wow...that turned more into a thing about Peter then anything. I guess I just miss my friend...
Whatever.
I dont want to talk about prom...it only got worse.
3. Graduation. Well everyone I graduated. Fun stuff huh? I could in theory go on and on and on and on about my feelings toward that but i dnot have the emotional strength right now. I really donnt. Lets just say this, anyone who ever said that graduation is a happy day, is very wrong. Becuase untill the day I die, I will see my high school graduation as the last day of the best years of my life.
4. I got a tattoo for my birthday. Enough said. I got like 509275027 facebook comments saying happy b-day, and 457207 phone calls, but really...the one phone call i wanted? I didnt get. You all know what it was, and if you dont, refer to previous statements.
5. Things are totally done with my and CJ, if you guys didnt know. Its not likes it been easy. But I thought we were both miserable. That was the impression I was given. Do I regret it? No, things were not working out. Do I miss him? Yes. I miss him, he was my best friend in the world and I loved him. But that dosnt mean that it should go back to how it was. Sometimes love just isnt enough. Sometimes there just isnt anything you can do. He deleted me from facebook, LJ, and AIM im pretty sure, i guess he just dosnt want to talk to me anymore. That really hurts. Being cut out of his life. Maybe some day he will miss me. But for now, if he dosnt want to talk with me, I cant do anything about it.
There is so much more I could be writing about each subject, but like I said, Im too tired.
I did so much exercise today. It makes me feel good.
overall however, I guess you could say Im pretty happy. I meean, its summer time? What could be better? I mean, there are some bad points, but overall things dont seem to terrible.
Tomorrow is my special day with Dan. We're hanging out all day, and hes letting my pick whatever I want to do.
I cant wait.
I <3 Dan.
Hes such a good friend.
I fucking miss erica.
This is not ok.
I need to see my wife.
Now.