a new entry
So, things have been going worse as ever.
I cant really explain one of the things thats been upsetting me most, but thats fine, I'll try my best.
I made a big mistake, and only a few people know about it, but seriously, you know when you do something really stupid and it just eats you up inside. I wanna tell some people about it, but i dunno, that wouldnt be such a great idea. I just feel like crap, becuase not only did I hurt myself, but Iv hurt other people, and will continue to hurt other people with my bad attitude.
So, next subject. I miss everyone already, today Jeff leaves, and me and mike and erica are going up to help him and stuff, but all the same, its a crappy feeling when so many people leave. its like, alright, now everyones really gone. I just cant wait untill next year when I'm the one who gets to go away.
Well, can I really not wait? I mean, granted, college is going to be fun and all, but I really dont know if Im going to be able to leave melrose, and melroe high school. Im so comfortable here, and well, things dont ever really go my way, but breaking into a new thing, is just going to be hard. Im not good with new thigns. And what if I dont get into any good colleges? What if I only get into crappy schools, or I dunno. Everything is so up in the air right now its amazing.
I havnt done ANY summer reading. I dont even have all the books. haha im screwed. whatever.
I havnt seen Cj in long time. I mean yeah I miss him and all, and I wanna see him a lot, but I have come to a conclusion. He's moved, and hes got a lot going on. He is in his hockey world, and Im never going to fit there. He has his hockey friends, and lifestyle and that just dosnt include me. I cant fit into where he wants me to be, becuase I dont feel like there is a spot. Im not blameing him or anything, its just hard when things change so much. I dont really know what to do. All I really want is to feel important.
My head keeps getting more and more confused lately. People are telling me what I should be doing, and what I shouldnt. How I should be feeling, and how thats a dumb idea. Im so unsure of how I feel about everything and everyone, to the point where I just dont know what to do.
Kaitlins been sleeping over a lot lately. That makes me happy.
I cant really explain one of the things thats been upsetting me most, but thats fine, I'll try my best.
I made a big mistake, and only a few people know about it, but seriously, you know when you do something really stupid and it just eats you up inside. I wanna tell some people about it, but i dunno, that wouldnt be such a great idea. I just feel like crap, becuase not only did I hurt myself, but Iv hurt other people, and will continue to hurt other people with my bad attitude.
So, next subject. I miss everyone already, today Jeff leaves, and me and mike and erica are going up to help him and stuff, but all the same, its a crappy feeling when so many people leave. its like, alright, now everyones really gone. I just cant wait untill next year when I'm the one who gets to go away.
Well, can I really not wait? I mean, granted, college is going to be fun and all, but I really dont know if Im going to be able to leave melrose, and melroe high school. Im so comfortable here, and well, things dont ever really go my way, but breaking into a new thing, is just going to be hard. Im not good with new thigns. And what if I dont get into any good colleges? What if I only get into crappy schools, or I dunno. Everything is so up in the air right now its amazing.
I havnt done ANY summer reading. I dont even have all the books. haha im screwed. whatever.
I havnt seen Cj in long time. I mean yeah I miss him and all, and I wanna see him a lot, but I have come to a conclusion. He's moved, and hes got a lot going on. He is in his hockey world, and Im never going to fit there. He has his hockey friends, and lifestyle and that just dosnt include me. I cant fit into where he wants me to be, becuase I dont feel like there is a spot. Im not blameing him or anything, its just hard when things change so much. I dont really know what to do. All I really want is to feel important.
My head keeps getting more and more confused lately. People are telling me what I should be doing, and what I shouldnt. How I should be feeling, and how thats a dumb idea. Im so unsure of how I feel about everything and everyone, to the point where I just dont know what to do.
Kaitlins been sleeping over a lot lately. That makes me happy.