(no subject)
Oh no! My Patty Griffin cd's are still in the cd changer in my car. I know they can be replaced but still they meant so much to me. No matter what mood I was in I could find a song to relate and belt out while I was driving. Erik went to the tow yard today to clean out my car. Tomorrow morning my car will be towed to the scrap yard. I should have gone but did not want to see my car. I have already lost enough sleep over flash backs of my accident. Although, I may have not thought to get the cd's out either. When I was looking through the box when Erik got back I said oh no not my Patty Cd's. Erik felt really bad. I took a breath and told him not to worry. With all I am dealing with those are minimal. The cd's can be replaced, my car can be replaced. I CAN NOT BE REPLACED. I am alive without serious injuries. Everytime that i look out to my driveway and see my care not there, I say to myself I need to pray like crazy tonight before bed for thanks for the fact that I am alive and will get through this.
Today was my first day alone after my accident. It was a bad day. I cried alot. Each time I moved and got that sharp sting of pain it made me see the accident all over again in my head. I had way too much time to think. I started to think that maybe if I wouldn't have swerved like I had then my car wouldn't of flipped and it wouldn't have been so bad. I was just so afraid of getting hit head on because of my last accident which i did and ended up hitting the windshield. I started to blame myself today. I called my mom to tell her how I was feeling and she said, "no don't think like that. You did what you thought was right in that second of the moment. Regardless he was going to hit you." The gentleman driving the other car got the ticket which means it was his fault so why am I blaming myself. I really wish I could have worked today but knew it was not possible because we get our large liquour order on Wednesdays and can't really lift much of anything. I am going back tomorrow evening regardless of my pain. I need to get back to work to hopefully get my mind off of this all for a bit.
Today was my first day alone after my accident. It was a bad day. I cried alot. Each time I moved and got that sharp sting of pain it made me see the accident all over again in my head. I had way too much time to think. I started to think that maybe if I wouldn't have swerved like I had then my car wouldn't of flipped and it wouldn't have been so bad. I was just so afraid of getting hit head on because of my last accident which i did and ended up hitting the windshield. I started to blame myself today. I called my mom to tell her how I was feeling and she said, "no don't think like that. You did what you thought was right in that second of the moment. Regardless he was going to hit you." The gentleman driving the other car got the ticket which means it was his fault so why am I blaming myself. I really wish I could have worked today but knew it was not possible because we get our large liquour order on Wednesdays and can't really lift much of anything. I am going back tomorrow evening regardless of my pain. I need to get back to work to hopefully get my mind off of this all for a bit.