More Than I Bargained For.
Part Eight-
When I heard these words I quickly hung up the phone and jumped up. Mom was two seconds behind me as we raced out the doors, yelling quick goodbyes to the family. I jumped into the driver’s seat, starting the car and speeding off down the road. It only took three minutes to get home but it couldn’t have been longer to me. Mom chattered anxiously and I just smiled wide, thinking about seeing Jacob. We haven’t seen him since we moved. I missed him so much. When I parked the car I ran right into the lobby, searching hungrily for Jacob.
“Jacob!?” I called, whipping my head around in different directions. “Jacob? Oof!” I slammed right into somebody and started to fall backwards when a pair of strong, familiar arms caught me mid fall.
“Easy there Scarlet. I see you haven’t changed at all.” Jacob pulled me back up and steadied me. He held me at arms length, making sure I wouldn’t fall, I wasn’t having that.
“Jake!” I yelped. I jumped into his arms and he laughed, spinning me around. “Uh! I’ve missed you so much!”
“I’ve missed you too,” he spoke smoothly into my hair. I was so happy, I felt like my face would burst with the strain of my smile. I hopped down from his embrace then, and stepped back for my mom.
“Jacob.” her voice was thick like she might burst into tears at any second. She walked into his arms and he held onto her tight. His smile was so big, it warmed my heart. He came with perfect timing.
“I’ve missed you so much Bells.” he whispered so low I wasn’t sure if I should have heard it. I pretended not to and went to lock the car that I’d left in a hurry. When I got back inside they moved apart but still held hands.
“So how are things in Forks? How’s Dad?” Mom asked. Jacob squeezed her hand and they started upstairs.
“Everything’s fine, Charlie’s fine, he sends his love. I just missed you girls too much.” Jacob told us with a signature smile. Mom didn’t answer him, she just leaned against his broad shoulder and waited for the elevator doors to open. When we got inside, Mom took Jacob into the living room while I let Tasha inside form the balcony.
“Hey pup.” he greeted her. She didn’t look like a pup anymore. She was big and strong and bounded onto Jake’s lap when he sat down. She seemed to recognize him straight away, I laughed when she licked his face. It didn’t bother Jacob like it would’ve others. He was always at ease around animals, especially dogs.
“So, how long are you staying Jake?” I asked him, plopping down on the floor in front of him. He shrugged.
“I’m not sure. Probably a week or so.” I smiled at this. A whole week with him. The rest of the afternoon was spent talking with Jacob.
“So how’s Billy?”
“Still alive.” he joked. Billy, his father, was a strong old man. Wise and ancient looking, I’d always been a favorite of his. “He misses you.”
“I miss him too. I saw a man a few weeks ago and I could’ve sworn it was Billy’s twin brother. I almost hugged him but I realized it wasn’t him.” I told him, speaking about the man I had seen at the theaters when I went with Jonathon. When I explained to Jonathon who I thought the man was, he wouldn’t stop teasing me. Every time we saw a man that looked anything like him after that, Jonathon would hold me back, so that I wouldn’t jump on him. Jacob laughed at that, his deep, throaty laugh that I loved so much.
I ordered Chinese food around dinner time so I wouldn’t have to leave Jacob. We were eating in the living room where he continually poked fun at Gilmore Girls against my protests and defenses when the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it.” I said, thinking it was probably Alice. When I swung open the door I was looking down, expecting the pixie woman. “Jonathon!”
“You sound surprised.” he pointed out. I nodded, I totally forgot about Jonathon.
“I am. I forgot about tonight.” I said apologetically. He smiled a bit and shrugged.
“Scarlet? Who is it?” Mom called out to me.
“It’s just Jonathon.” I stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind me. “Jacob is here.” I told him.
“Tell me something.”
“What do you want to know?” I wondered.
“Everything.” he whispered. We were lying in the park -the middle of the soccer field.. It was new years eve and we had nothing to do. I didn’t want to go to any of the local parties, I just wanted to be with Jonathon.
“Everything?” I mused. “Umm, back in Forks, I had this best friend.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, his name is Jacob. He’s my Mom’s best friend really, kind of like a hand-me-down but better. He’s the one who gave me Tasha.” I informed him. His arms were wrapped around me, a blanket wrapped around us. His warm breath washed over my neck. “He was the closest thing I had to a father figure. He taught me how to ride a bike, and a motorcycle, behind my mom’s back of course. He babysat me all the time, we played the funniest games. I’m sure they were stupid games but he always looked like he was having fun.” It made me happy and sad at the same time to think about Jacob. “Once when I was fifteen I went to this party with my friend Cara, some kids were drinking but I hadn’t had a drop. Jacob heard about it and showed up, dragging me out of there. It was embarrassing but hilarious. Nobody talked about anything else that week of school.”
Jonathon laughed. “He sounds great.”
“He is.” I confirmed.
“Oh.” Jonathon answered, surprised. “That’s great.”
“Yeah so maybe we can do the movie tomorrow?” I asked. He looked confused. “What?”
“Don’t I get to meet him?”
“Meet him?”
“Well yeah, he’s like your dad.” he said. “Do I get to meet him or not?”
“Um, suuure.” I replied, turning back to open the door. Mom and Jake were still sitting in the living room. He was flipping through the channels, tired of my soaps. Jacob was overly protective of me and I was a little unsure of how this would go. I’d told Jacob about Jonathon on the phone and he knew how much I liked him, I just hoped he would take that into consideration when meeting him.
“Well?” Jacob’s voice demanded through the phone. I held it away from my ear a little. I’d been spacing out big time while on the phone with him. I couldn’t remember what we had been talking about or if we’d been talking about anything.
“Sorry, what?” He sighed impatiently.
“Are you still with Jeremy?”
“Who’s Jeremy?” I shook my head in wonder.
“Your friend.” he said grimly. I rolled my eyes, catching on.
“You mean Jonathon? My boyfriend?” I emphasized boyfriend a little, messing with him. He growled a little.
“Whatever.”
“Yes, we are still together. Why do you ask?”
“Just wondering I guess.”
“Jake.” I knew he wanted to say something, he’d been hinting around it for the past hour. Honestly I had some good long essays I could have been working on but no, I gave him some time to say it on his own. Finally we were getting to the point.
“What?” he grumbled.
“What do you want to say?” He wasn’t going to hang up now. He knew I wasn’t going to give up. He sighed heavily before answering.
“I just feel like I should be there.” he admitted. I smiled. Of course he should be here. He should be here answering the door with a threatening look like I knew he wanted to.
“I know. Me too, but it’s okay. Everybody has met Jonathon and they all like him. You can relax, I’m perfectly safe.” I tried to assure him.
“I don’t know. I don’t like this, aren’t you young to be dating so seriously?” he asked me. I laughed out loud, unable to contain myself.
“Seriously Jake! You sound like Grandpa Charlie!” he snorted at that. “I’m eighteen, I am perfectly able to do whatever I want.”
“Eighteen.” he scoffed. I knew he was breaking though, I’m a legal adult, what’s he going to do?
“Jacob,” I started, taking a deep breath and using my serious voice, hoping he could tell I wasn’t lying. “I really like Jonathon. I love him. Please, don’t judge him. When you meet him, you can form your opinions, but I don’t want you to instantly hate him because he’s my boyfriend. I’m not two.”
He didn’t reply, he only sighed a very long, stretched out sigh, telling me I had won for now.
“Hello Jonathon.” Mom greeted him, turning back to the TV. Jacob hadn’t looked back yet. I silently prayed that they would get along.
“Hello, I hope you don’t mind I stopped by.” he said politely, setting the movie he had brought over on the coffee table. It was the new comedy I mentioned in passing that I wanted to see. This small gesture showed how much he cared for me and made my heart thump. Jonathon saw my goofy look and winked. I stood there, smiling like a fool. Jake was watching me now with a confused expression.
“Of course not.” Mom said.
“Jonathon this is Jacob Black,” I introduced them. Jacob stood up from the couch, stood tall and held out his hand politely. “Jacob this is Jonathon.”
They shook hands firmly and exchanged hello’s. After we finished dinner I put in the movie Jonathon had brought over. I leaned into Jonathon on the floor with blankets over us. For Jake’s sake -because I could feel him watching us- I kept my hands folded in my lap. His stare was annoying but I tried to ignore it. Jake sat on the couch to the right of me with his arm around my mom. His other hand was cradled in her lap, both of her hands wrapped around it. I loved listening to them laugh. His deep, husky chuckle mixed with her light giggle was musical. She leaned her head on his shoulder often and fell asleep in his arms about half way through the movie. This wasn’t unusual at all, this was how most nights ended up back in Forks. They were best friends, nothing was unusual for them. When the movie ended it was already pretty late. My eyes drooped and my limbs sagged where I sat.
“Scarlet?” Jonathon’s silky voice rang in my ears. I smiled dreamily in his arms.
“Hmm?” I hummed for him.
“Never mind.” he paused before pulling out from under me, standing up. I frowned slightly at the loss of contact. He was so comfortable. I was about to protest when I felt his arms lift me up from the ground. He was carrying me into my room, I was almost positive but couldn’t be sure. It was so dark in the loft without the light from the TV. I relaxed in his arms and let him take me, not caring where we went.
When he set me on the bed, I expected him to lie down next to me but he didn’t. I frowned as hard a I could but it wasn’t impressive. He pulled down the covers and helped me scoot in. I waved around my arms, reaching for him to bring him down next to me. He caught my hands in his and laid them by my sides.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” he pulled away.
“Why?” He just laughed before leaning down to kiss my cheek.
“Goodnight Scar,” he whispered in my ear before leaving the room. He left the door cracked open and I could hear him shutting the front door after locking it from the inside.
I was in his arms again. He hugged me to him as if I might slip away. He cared for me, I knew that. He didn’t want to let me go. “Scarlet.”
“Dad.” I whispered against his chest. He sighed at this, content. I was too, I didn’t want to let go of him, and I definitely did not want to wake up.
“Scarlet, I love you.”
“I know Dad. I love you too.” This was new ground for me. My dreams were getting vivid and more real. He said more than just my name but not what I needed to hear. I needed to know that it was okay now, that he was proud of me. My family, Esme, Mom, Carlisle, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, they all say he’d be proud of me but how am I supposed to know? If I can’t even dream that he would say it, how could he ever say it if he were alive? He couldn’t, that’s the only explanation.
I woke up with a start to the smell of coffee. I rolled out of bed to find Jacob sitting at the counter with a mug in his hands. I peered into it and gagged. Black?
“Is that black coffee?”
“Yep.” He smiled happily, taking a big gulp. I held my nose, it smelled disgusting. I only liked it when it had some kind of flavor with it. Plain black coffee was nasty.
“That is so gross. I forgot how weird you are.”
“You’re a freak.” he countered, taking a drink.
“Yes, I’m the freak.” I muttered sarcastically.
“Oh good Scarlet, your up.” Mom walked into the kitchen with her hair up in a towel. “Tasha needs to be walked this morning.”
“Right.”
“Jake and I are going out, behave yourself.”
“Out where? And why are you two ditching me?” I wondered, feigning hurt.
“Seeing the sights, duh.” Jake answered me. “And because we can.”
“Oh I see how it is. Fine, that’s okay. It seems Tasha is the only one who really cares about me. Well that’s just fine, come on Tasha!” I called her. I was in sweats and a sweatshirt already so I slipped on shoes and left the loft.
It was extremely cold and windy outside so I made our walk a quick one. By the time I got home, Mom and Jake were already gone. I sighed, slipping my shoes off inside the door and feeding Tasha.
“What to do.. What to do..” I mused, scanning the loft for anything that could amuse me. Thankfully my phone rang then. I ran into my room to get it. Spinning around the room, I couldn’t spot the silver cell anywhere. Ding aling aling aling… a soft voice sang as my ring tone. I dropped to the floor and searched below. Aha! Under my bed, it vibrated against the floor. I scrambled to get it, knowing that it would stop ringing soon and go to my voicemail.
“Hello?” I gasped, lying on the floor. I rolled over to face the ceiling.
“Hey, what are you doing?” Jonathon’s voice sounded.
“Ha, I’m lying on my floor.” I took a deep breath, relaxing now.
“Why?” He sounded amused.
“I couldn’t find my phone. What are you doing?”
“Talking to you.” he replied, as always.
“You wanna go to Carlisle and Esme’s?”
“Sure, I’ll pick you up.”
I hung up the phone and thought of the first time Jonathon had gone over there with me.
“…and this is Alice’s old room.” I finished showing Jonathon around the house.
“What about this room?” He gestured to the studio that I had been carefully avoiding. My hand was wrapped up in his and he felt my fingers twitch.
“That’s my dad’s studio.” I answered him, touching the doorknob softly. I didn’t check to see his reaction. I wrapped my fingers around the glass handle and twisted the door open. The curtains were pulled back, letting in enough light. It was snowing outside, the white flakes freezing against the window. It was beautiful.
We didn’t say anything but I led Jonathon into the room by his hand. He followed me silently to the piano where I sat down. He had wanted to hear me play, right? Well I guess now was good a time as ever. I tried to tell myself that it was not a big deal for him to be in here with me, but it was. My heart ached and swelled at the same time, slightly burning. I was happy that I was letting him into this part of my life, but it was hard to do. It probably looked easer than it was.
He didn’t sit down, but stood behind me instead. That was okay with me. Usually I hated to have people hovering but it was more like a security blanket with Jonathon. I positioned my fingers where I knew they should be and started to play the song I had been working on. There weren’t many words to go along with it yet, I was still working on that part.
My hair fell around my face like a curtain, which worked for me, I tried to pretend I was alone, or with my mother. Yes, I could play perfectly if my mother were here. Which she was- just down the hallway. I’m sure everybody could hear me in here.
About half way though the song, I looked up through my long hair at the top of the piano. The pictures of my parents sleeping stood slightly in front of the others and I sniffed. I could not start crying now. I felt Jonathon lean over me a little, looking at the pictures too. My heart throbbed.
“Nobody said… it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard … I’ll take you back to the start.” I sang in a whisper. I played with my left hand only now, ending the song softly. I wiped away any tears with the back of my right.
Still, he remained silent, though he moved around to sit beside me. He pulled me into his arms gently, exactly where I wanted to be. I rested my head against his chest, my ear right over his heart. It pounded through him, into me. It was in perfect rhythm with mine. He breathed into my hair comfortingly.
“That was beautiful, Scarlet.” he finally murmured. He rubbed circles in my back. My hands connected against the small of his back, hanging there.
He stood up then, taking my hands from around him and pulling me up too. It only took a second for him to pull me close to him again. There was no music now except for our breathing but that didn’t stop us from starting to rock back and forth. Jonathon held me to his chest and moved us slowly towards the windows. The hall door was slightly ajar, but the only light came from outside. It was a cool blue sheen from the white snow that covered everything outside. He brushed my hair away from my face and kissed me lightly on the lips. My hands slowly moved up to his shoulders and I kissed his neck before resting there, breathing in his scent.
At some point we stopped moving all together and just stood there holding each other in front of the window. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched the snow fall in twirls and swirls. It moved with a pulse of it’s own.
“Scar?” Jonathon’s voice broke through my memories. I started with a little gasp. How long had I just been spacing out? Jonathon let himself in took my hand when he found me. “You okay?”
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Good, because I have a surprise for you.” I registered the excitement in his voice. My eyebrows rose.
“A surprise?” I did not like surprises.
“Yep. I think your really going to like it too.” his voice was a little smug. I became curious.
“Okay, what is it?”
“Remember when we talked about schools? And what we want to do?” he asked. Yes, I remembered.
“Where’s your mom?” Jonathon checked.
“Working late again.” I grabbed a blanket form the chair and spread it out on top of us. We laid on the couch, watching Gone With the Wind.
“God it’s cold.” he muttered, running his hands up and down my arms. I had turned on the heater but the snow outside still froze everything it could.
“But it’s so pretty.” I said, lying back against him and gazed outside at the still falling snow.
“So are you.”
“Ah, gee.” I joked.
“I’m serious.” he spoke softly.
“I know, thank you.”
It was silent for a few minutes. The only sound was the movie that was set with a low volume.
“Why didn’t you go to college?” I blurted without thinking. I could have hit myself, why did I say that? Sure, I had been wondering, but I didn’t mean to say it so bluntly. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I plan on going, eventually.”
“What do you mean? You wanted a year off?” Why was I picking for information? It was a reasonable answer. Why was I being rude?
“No, not really.” he sounded a little unsure of himself.
“I don’t understand.” I gave into my curiosity now.
“Neither do I really. When it came time to apply for schools, I had no idea where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be.”
“Lots of people feel that way.” I tried to soothe him. There was nothing wrong with that.
“I know but Bryan knew exactly where he wanted to be and why. So did my parents, and all of my friends. I guess I’m just waiting until I’m inspired. They say they all had something pulling them to what they wanted to do. My dad wanted to be a lawyer like his dad. My mom didn’t go to school, she wanted to be with my dad. Bryan had Lisa and football taking him places. I don’t have a connection with any schools. I suppose I’m waiting for the pull.” he explained. I wondered at this. What kind of a pull? Mom had just been asking me the other night what I was thinking about doing after school. I honestly didn’t know. I didn’t have a pull anywhere, did I? Did we have to have a pull? Was it important? I mean, if you wanted your life to be interesting I guess it would be nice, but surely… I didn’t know where I was going with this. It didn’t make sense to me quite yet.
“Scarlet?”
“Yes?”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, sorry. I was thinking.”
“Do I sound like a lame bum now?” he asked. I laughed but then felt bad.
“No, your not a bum.” I thought about it for a second. “Your smart.”
“Not going to school is smart?”
“No, thinking about what you want to do before hand is smart. What if you rushed into school and had no idea what you wanted to do? Where would you be?”
“Not here. Not with you.” he replied sadly.
“Exactly, so it was smart, because now I get to have you.” I concluded. He sighed and it sounded happy. I scooted closer to him, snuggling into his body and turned up the movie a little bit. I had fallen asleep in his arms.
“Yes. I remember.”
“Well I figured it out.” with this, he pulled out a pamphlet from his back pocket. I eyed it suspiciously. He held it out for me.
“What is this?”
“Columbia College of Chicago.”
“…okay?”
“Well, I hear it has a great music program.” he said, slightly less sure of himself.
“Wow.”
“Yeah,” his excitement was building. I smiled up at him appreciatively. “All you have to do is play for the head music guy, since they have so many applicants and your so great that he’s sure to pick you.”
This was a nice thing he was doing. Don’t worry that I couldn’t perform my music in front of anyone but him and family, no big deal. It’s perfectly okay that I never had any intention to share my music. This was something nice he was trying to do for me. That’s how I would look at it. Yes, I would love to study music, to learn how to play better for myself, it was a passion, but no. I didn’t like to play for crowds or audiences or head music guys.
“Jonathon this is really nice but, I don’t think so.”
“What? You haven’t even looked at it babe.” he reasoned.
“I know,” I tried to say this calmly. I couldn’t stop the… frustration that was spreading through me. Didn’t he get that it was hard for me to play for even him? “I just, I don’t play for audiences.”
“Scarlet this is a great thing. You could practice, get used to playing for audiences.”
“Jonathon. It’s not that I can’t. I won’t.”
“Will you tell me why?” he was getting frustrated now too. I didn’t like this. I just wanted to drop it.
“Because my music is personal.” I snapped.
He thought for a moment.
“You won’t even try? It’s such a great opportunity Scar. We could both go there, be together.” I could see the hurt in his eyes at my stubbornness. I hated seeing that but I wouldn’t give into him.
“Jonathon please. Just drop it.” I sighed, reaching for his hand. I didn’t want him hurt by the idea. I flipped open the pamphlet. He let me take his hand, no matter what I did, he would never refuse me that. “This looks like a great school, and it’s not that far away. It’s perfect. We can still go there.”
I’d major in something else. Something where I didn’t have to perform. He didn’t say anything. I think he was confused.
“Jon-”
My voice was cut off by the ring of his phone. I sighed and dropped his hand. He ignored it, watching me with frustrated eyes.
“Get it, it could be important,” I said, turning away from him. He sighed heavily but answered it.
“Yeah?”
I walked slowly to the window. How did he not get this? I didn’t want to fight with him about something so unimportant.
“Can’t you send your assistant?” Jonathon spoke harshly.
“Yeah, yeah, okay. I’ll be there soon. Bye.” He hurriedly hung up the phone. “I got to go Scarlet. I’m sorry, my dad needs some papers that he left at the house.”
“It’s fine, go,” I said calmly. He grabbed my hand, turning me around.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized.
“It’s fine, really. I’ll walk to Esme’s-”
“No, I’ll give you a ride, but I meant, I’m sorry, but I’m not giving up about this so easily.” He explained, pressing the pamphlet back into my hand at our sides. I looked at it and rolled my eyes. He didn’t shift his gaze until I looked back up at him. He wasn’t lying, he wasn’t giving up.
“Neither am I.”
I stomped into Esme and Carlisle’s stubbornly. When I’d stepped out of Jonathon’s car, he gave me a kiss and said, “Think about it.”
Well I’d think about it plenty if that made him happy, but my mind was not going to change. That was for sure.
“Oh, hey Carlisle.” I hadn’t known my grandfather was going to be home. He was sitting in the living room with a cup of tea.
“Hello Scarlet. Would you like some?” he asked, gesturing to his tea.
“No thanks,” I said, sitting beside him on the couch. I rubbed my face anxiously.
“Something wrong?”
I looked up to see Carlisle watching me knowingly. “Am I really that obvious?”
“No, just very much like your father.”
Our smiles matched for a second.
“It’s just that, Jonathon gave me this today,” I explained, handing Carlisle the booklet. He opened it, shifting through the pages for a moment.
“And you have another school in mind?” he guessed. I shook my head.
“No, that school looks great, he just thinks I should major in music.”
“Well that’s a great idea Scarlet. Your very gifted..” Carlisle patted my hand lovingly. I smiled appreciatively.
“But I’d have to perform, audition for the class.”
“Ah, I see.”
“Do you?” I looked up, hoping for a solution. He smiled but shook his head softly.
“Not really, you play for us all the time. What’s the problem?”
“I can play for family, and Jonathon, but for a whole crowd…” I trailed off and Carlisle nodded, understanding.
“Scarlet,” he asked for my attention. I looked up and Carlisle stared into my eyes with a little spark. “I think we both know that you can do it. With a little practice in front of crowds, you’ll do perfectly. You love your music do you not?”
He waited for my answer. “Yes, I do.”
“And it is a gift from your father, a connection with him, right?”
I nodded.
“Then bear it proudly. It is precious to you and that shows in your playing. Anybody that hears it knows that you care passionately for what you do. Come,” he ordered, standing and walking away down the hallway. I followed him into the studio where he flicked on the lights. I obediently sat down at the piano when he gestured for me to. “play for your father.”
“Carlisle-”
“Come Scarlet, you do want to study music don’t you?” he spoke form right behind me.
“Yes.”
“Then play for your family. Close your eyes and imagine everyone else is gone. It is just you and your mother and father.” he paused for a minute. “Edward is watching you play, standing right where I am, proud as ever. Follow your dream, that is all he wants for you.”
I started to play softly, listening to the reason in Carlisle’s voice. He was so smart and knew what I wanted even when I didn’t. How could somebody be so wise? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was centuries old- he knew so much.
I tried to picture Dad there, right behind me. I closed my eyes and saw him, it was my dream. He smiled at me, was I going crazy? Carlisle disappeared and Edward remained. As long as I continued to play, he listened.
Carlisle was right, Jonathon was right, I could do this. I would do this. This was the answer to my dreams, this is how I would make my father proud.
I didn’t leave the piano for the rest of the day.
Author's Note: God I'm sorry Im so off lately. Im ashamed. But this short little thing is what I got done this weekend but I swear I will try to step up my game a bit. Whew, anyways.. Im sorry about the random font size change in here. LJ seriously hates me. I'll try to fix and problems but sometimes it just won't let me. Anything that is in italycs is supposed to be a flashback of the months you missed, btw.