(no subject)
I took a bi-polar screening test and I scored 53, with 51+ being the highest score
I already knew it was severe for me most of the time, but since I will be going to a doctor
and therapist soon, I wanted to be sure of what I have..
This sucks, I will probably be like this for life
I get on medication
get ammuned to the dosage,
bump it up a dose
etc
etc
etc
I do think that with the help of medication,
I can better myself from this
It really has been affecting me greatly, especially in my "relationship"
This makes me wish I never drank at a young age
Maybe if I would of never got so wasted that that fucking prick
had his chance to fucking rape me.
I'm not blaming the fact that I was raped on myself, I didn't ask for that shit, I just
wish I wasn't such a fucking idiot when I was 12-16.
But, I am blaming the drinking problem I used to have on myself, and partially my parents for letting me
drink when I was 12 fucking years old.
Now, away from that bullshit..
I am pretty sure I have a moderate case of obsessive compulsive disorder
Ever since I was a small girl
I would always count in my head how many words I am saying as I speak
Or sometimes on my hands, but to where people would not notice.
And, if the numbers did not add up evenly, it would annoy the fucking
shit out of me.
And, also,
especially when I am in class
I freak out if my books and everything isn't lined up perfectly even.
What a strange thing the human brain is.
Actually so very interesting.