Corporate Booty Call
...so, I think I just got whatever the corporate version of a post-breakup booty call is.
Many of you know that my workplace just changed its name. The David A. Straz, Jr. Center of the Performing Arts, nee "Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center," just got announced on Monday. Now, many of you are ALSO familiar with the phenomenon of skeezy exs calling you after you just broke up with someone, word's gotten around, and said ex is looking to exploit your vulnerability for some lovin'. (At this point, let me admit that, no, in fact, this has never happened TO me. But I've witnessed this phenomenon enough to know it well. Also, in my younger and less proud years, I was the skeezy ex. Don't judge.)
Anyway, after such a big corporate name change, there's always a few things to consider - namely, anything with your logo on it is now obsolete. When you consider that I manage the envelopes and letterhead for the now Straz Center, (cool name, right?) I should have guessed it was only a matter of time before my envelope guy heard and got excited. When he called, I couldn't help but hear the subtext of the conversation pretty clearly.
"Hey, Josh! How's your day going?"
("So...Hey. How you doing, girl?")
"I heard about the good news! Congratulations for big corporate gift!"
("I heard you and what's-his-face broke up. That's sad, baby.")
"Anyway, I guess now you guys are going to be working on a new logo, huh?"
("Baby, I know you're hurting. I know you're hurting real bad.")
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm here to help you with any of your envelope and letterhead needs."
("Girl, let me come over. I swear, I'll help you forget ALL about that loser, baby. I'll make all the pain go away.")
...there are some pretty scary similarities. I'm not sure I'm comfortable being the 20-year old girl that just broke up with her long-term boyfriend Troy in this particular scenario.
Many of you know that my workplace just changed its name. The David A. Straz, Jr. Center of the Performing Arts, nee "Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center," just got announced on Monday. Now, many of you are ALSO familiar with the phenomenon of skeezy exs calling you after you just broke up with someone, word's gotten around, and said ex is looking to exploit your vulnerability for some lovin'. (At this point, let me admit that, no, in fact, this has never happened TO me. But I've witnessed this phenomenon enough to know it well. Also, in my younger and less proud years, I was the skeezy ex. Don't judge.)
Anyway, after such a big corporate name change, there's always a few things to consider - namely, anything with your logo on it is now obsolete. When you consider that I manage the envelopes and letterhead for the now Straz Center, (cool name, right?) I should have guessed it was only a matter of time before my envelope guy heard and got excited. When he called, I couldn't help but hear the subtext of the conversation pretty clearly.
"Hey, Josh! How's your day going?"
("So...Hey. How you doing, girl?")
"I heard about the good news! Congratulations for big corporate gift!"
("I heard you and what's-his-face broke up. That's sad, baby.")
"Anyway, I guess now you guys are going to be working on a new logo, huh?"
("Baby, I know you're hurting. I know you're hurting real bad.")
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm here to help you with any of your envelope and letterhead needs."
("Girl, let me come over. I swear, I'll help you forget ALL about that loser, baby. I'll make all the pain go away.")
...there are some pretty scary similarities. I'm not sure I'm comfortable being the 20-year old girl that just broke up with her long-term boyfriend Troy in this particular scenario.