Today.....
Today was an awesome day overall. I got to spend time with Toni which always rawks my socks....got to run around, look at clothes, etc. Left Sammers in a very very good mood.
Later that day....
Rob calls....to inform me that he's going to still call me baby...etc. Yeah ok. So we're talking and the conversation is going great....he has me laughing and feeling good.....the fucker. I hate him.
I love him.
So yep, he's really bored.....and he wants me to come to work with him tomorrow.....but I'm supposed to go out....but I want to be with him.....but I really want to go out. I think I'm doing good. I haven't called him....emailed....messaged.....anything. It's all been him....but I can't say no to anything when it comes to him. He said he thought about me today....He talks to me more than any of his other friends....etc....I wonder why? Maybe because I still want to be with him? Duh.
So we're talking and he's gonna come see me.....joy. I'm looking sexy from earlier so it's all good. We're still on the phone and talking about music and he asked me to make him a CD, he'd give me the CD's if I could just download and burn for him....I ask how he's going to pay me and he asked what did I want.....so I shocked the fuck out of him by saying, "I'm a physical person when I want to be....you think of something and surprise me."......I know....I'm rather still shocked at myself too. He was like, "Um.....Sam?? Uh....are you serious?" "What if I were?" "Like a friends with benefits type thing?" "No....hell no.....you sleeping around with everyone I wouldn't be able to touch you." "Uh if I were it'd only be with you and thank you very much I don't even need that! If I want sex I handle it very well."
I laugh and drop it.
He comes by.....we laugh.....talk.....he asks again if I'm going to go with him tomorrow.....I say most likely. Sometimes I hate myself.
So we're hugging.....and I back away and tell him to come here.....he leans over and I give him a kiss on his cheek. He smiles real big and I get out of the van and come back inside....smiling like an idiot.
I've come to notice something.
If you don't treat others' problems bigger than your own.....you're a bitch.
If you do not cry with people......you're a bitch.
If you voice your own problems with theirs.....you're a bitch.
If you don't smile constantly....you're a bitch.
If people's efforts don't make you happy.....you're a bitch.
If you don't look a certain way....you're a bitch.
If you're not some plain jane wallflower....you're a bitch.
If you have self-confidence.....you're a bitch.
If you have a fucking voice that is yours.....you're a bitch.
I've had so many different people give me so many different reasons of what's wrong with me in their eyes.
But if you don't say how good they are....you're a bitch.
I'm perfect in being me.....no one else can pull me off like I can. If that means every miniscule thing I do makes me a bitch; suck my cock and die motherfuckers because quite frankly I don't give a damn about people's dramas, bullshit, efforts or crappy ass attitudes. I'm still trying to fine-tune my own so all I can say to anyone is "Forgive me for not going into your bomb shelter with you." Trust me, the world will go on, move on, keep spinning and not give a damn about everyone elses problems first. So likewise in that regard I worry about my shit first and they can just go ahead and call me Mother Earth and kiss my ass. I will move on, I will keep turning and I'll find the time maybe to worry about their apocalypse's after I get past my own battles. God damn....
Oops, I guess anyone who may read this (whomever does) will think "Poor him." or "What a bitch." My question is....for all those who go "Awwww." and all those who go "Biiiitch." am I really supposed to give a damn either way? No, I should think not. Sometimes I literally wish I could take peoples self-induced opinions and such and shove them up their own ass for them, just to see how their own words affect them. Talk about your not-so-normal twist on 'I am rubber. You are glue.' Everytime they look at me and go "Bitch." all I can say is "Bitch fuck you."
This has been you're Not-So-Caring Bitch rant for the night.
Later that day....
Rob calls....to inform me that he's going to still call me baby...etc. Yeah ok. So we're talking and the conversation is going great....he has me laughing and feeling good.....the fucker. I hate him.
I love him.
So yep, he's really bored.....and he wants me to come to work with him tomorrow.....but I'm supposed to go out....but I want to be with him.....but I really want to go out. I think I'm doing good. I haven't called him....emailed....messaged.....anything. It's all been him....but I can't say no to anything when it comes to him. He said he thought about me today....He talks to me more than any of his other friends....etc....I wonder why? Maybe because I still want to be with him? Duh.
So we're talking and he's gonna come see me.....joy. I'm looking sexy from earlier so it's all good. We're still on the phone and talking about music and he asked me to make him a CD, he'd give me the CD's if I could just download and burn for him....I ask how he's going to pay me and he asked what did I want.....so I shocked the fuck out of him by saying, "I'm a physical person when I want to be....you think of something and surprise me."......I know....I'm rather still shocked at myself too. He was like, "Um.....Sam?? Uh....are you serious?" "What if I were?" "Like a friends with benefits type thing?" "No....hell no.....you sleeping around with everyone I wouldn't be able to touch you." "Uh if I were it'd only be with you and thank you very much I don't even need that! If I want sex I handle it very well."
I laugh and drop it.
He comes by.....we laugh.....talk.....he asks again if I'm going to go with him tomorrow.....I say most likely. Sometimes I hate myself.
So we're hugging.....and I back away and tell him to come here.....he leans over and I give him a kiss on his cheek. He smiles real big and I get out of the van and come back inside....smiling like an idiot.
I've come to notice something.
If you don't treat others' problems bigger than your own.....you're a bitch.
If you do not cry with people......you're a bitch.
If you voice your own problems with theirs.....you're a bitch.
If you don't smile constantly....you're a bitch.
If people's efforts don't make you happy.....you're a bitch.
If you don't look a certain way....you're a bitch.
If you're not some plain jane wallflower....you're a bitch.
If you have self-confidence.....you're a bitch.
If you have a fucking voice that is yours.....you're a bitch.
I've had so many different people give me so many different reasons of what's wrong with me in their eyes.
But if you don't say how good they are....you're a bitch.
I'm perfect in being me.....no one else can pull me off like I can. If that means every miniscule thing I do makes me a bitch; suck my cock and die motherfuckers because quite frankly I don't give a damn about people's dramas, bullshit, efforts or crappy ass attitudes. I'm still trying to fine-tune my own so all I can say to anyone is "Forgive me for not going into your bomb shelter with you." Trust me, the world will go on, move on, keep spinning and not give a damn about everyone elses problems first. So likewise in that regard I worry about my shit first and they can just go ahead and call me Mother Earth and kiss my ass. I will move on, I will keep turning and I'll find the time maybe to worry about their apocalypse's after I get past my own battles. God damn....
Oops, I guess anyone who may read this (whomever does) will think "Poor him." or "What a bitch." My question is....for all those who go "Awwww." and all those who go "Biiiitch." am I really supposed to give a damn either way? No, I should think not. Sometimes I literally wish I could take peoples self-induced opinions and such and shove them up their own ass for them, just to see how their own words affect them. Talk about your not-so-normal twist on 'I am rubber. You are glue.' Everytime they look at me and go "Bitch." all I can say is "Bitch fuck you."
This has been you're Not-So-Caring Bitch rant for the night.