Fic: Best Laid Plans pt 1
Title: Best Laid Plans
Pairing: Kurt/Sam, Kurt/Blaine UST, Brittany/Artie, Brittany/Artie/Santana
Rating: R
Summary: When it gets out that Blaine doesn’t find Kurt sexy the ND kids set out to prove he is. Their plot to get Kurt and Blaine together backfires when Kurt ends up with Sam.
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Glee. It’s not my toy box, I’m merely playing. I also own nothing to do with Grease or Calamity Jane (the Doris Day movie Rachel and Kurt discuss) or the Kinsey scale.
Spoilers: “Sexy”
A/N: I upped the rating for Brittany’s swearing/dress. Also she kisses Blaine in this and then talks about making out with Kurt. Just a warning, am not trying to offend anyone.
Best Laid Plans:
Kurt tilts his head up to look at Rachel. She raises an eyebrow. He frowns as he explains, “We’ve already done Grease. It’s not what I want to be doing with Blaine.”
Rachel quirks her lips as he continues bitterly, “If he has to cast me as this naïve couldn’t he have at least given me a Doris Day role?”
“Crossdressing fun?” Rachel teases.
Kurt’s frown shifts slowly into a smile as he considered the possibilities.
“Do I get to be Katie Brown?”
“You’re not giving me fashion advice,” Kurt glares
Rachel laughs, “Not quite sure how we’d fit him in as Wild Bill.”
“I’m beginning to think he might fit better as Lieutenant Gilmartin,” Kurt tells her.
Their eyes meet. She shares his frown before she reveals, “I don’t get it.”
Kurt pushes himself up on his elbows and gives her a slightly confused look.
“You were a star Cherrio, you were also on the football team and for someone who professes his love for football as much as Blaine you’d think he’d find both those things sexy,” Rachel points out, “Plus he’s seen you in all your non-uniformed glory and heard you sing. If he can’t see that you’re sexy than I can’t believe I kissed such a loser.”
The expression she adds to her declaration has Kurt laughing.
“Only you would make this about you?”
“It’s always about me,” Rachel mocks with a flip of her hair before she settled down onto Kurt, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping an arm around him. She tilts her head upwards, “Besides you’re in Brittany’s top ten best kissers at McKinley, so what does he know?”
“Don’t even think about it Berry!”
“Don’t think about what?” she pouts.
“If you kiss me then you’ll never win back my brother,” he said, giving her a mock stern look.
Their lips quirk at the same time before they start to laugh and Rachel’s laugh turns into a squeal as his fingers hit her ribs. The doorbell rings and they pause.
“That’s ‘Cedes or Tina,” Rachel announces as she begins to smooth out her hair.
“Tina’s here this time?”
Rachel nods, “She told Mike she needs a girl’s night.”
Kurt smiled, then frowned, “Just don’t tell anyone okay.”
“That Blaine’s apparently an idiot?”
“He just doesn’t find me attractive,” Kurt shrugged.
Rachel rolls her eyes, “Maybe all the close proximity to you killed his brain cells.”
~~~~~*****~~~~~
After the whole kissing Rachel while drunk fiasco Blaine had decided that he was likely a Kinsey five, but only under the right circumstances. Looking up from his textbook to take in the leggy blonde in the doorway, when his roommate, Keith, lets out a choking noise, has him reconsidering that earlier conclusion. She’s poised there in an obvious pose. Her hair is teased, her skirt obscenely short and her top leaves little to the imagination. There are other clothes pooled around her feet and Blaine has to wonder if that is why his roommate is sitting there with his jaw practically on the floor. All Blaine can do is take in the predatory look on her face and realize that he should never have doubted himself, he’s a six, has always been a six and will always be a six, because her standing there looking for all the world as if she wants to eat him alive is doing nothing but making him wonder how to turn her down politely.
“B-brittany,” he tries to squeak out.
She stalks into the room, tosses his book on the floor, pushes him back onto his bed and gives him this Chesire-cat grin.
“I reall…”
His protest is cut off by her lips. Keith makes a choking strangled noise and Blaine is not quite sure how to be polite without kissing her back. He’ll tell her this isn’t a good idea when she stops. It’s not like she’s going to do more than kiss in front of Keith…he shrieks when she pinches his nipple.
Brittany pulls away with a pout, “I didn’t even get to use half my tricks.”
“Um, Brittany, aren’t you dating Artie?” Blaine points out.
“I have permission,” she tells him airily.
What is he suppose to say to that?
“To kiss you once,” she smirks before she rolls off him, strides back to the door and begins putting her outfit back together. It’s really less obscene with two more tops and leggings, though the skirt is really too short.
“Okay, that was a really nice kiss, but…”
“Of course it was,” she smirks, “I’m fucking fabulous. I’m Brittany bitch.”
“Your boyfriend is one lucky man,” Keith manages.
“He knows it,” Brittany preens as she gives Keith a smile, then she turns her attention back onto Blaine, “I tasted really good, didn’t I?”
She had, but what was she getting at.
“Yes,” he tries. How is he supposed to ask for an explanation?
“I tasted like Kurt.”
“Kurt?”
“I made out with him right before I came to find you.”
“Did Artie give you permission to do that too?”
Brittany rolls her eyes, “He’s on my list of cheats. I can make out with him whenever I want to. So if you ever get your act together and get with him you’d better realize that I get to make out with him whenever I want to. He’s amazing, so get with the kissing already.”
“List of cheats?” Blaine manages as she struts away.
“You know a list of people you have permission to cheat on your partner with if you ever get a chance with them and it won’t count as cheating,” Keith explains, “It’s usually celebrities you’d never in a million years meet.”
“Oh,” Blaine manages as he rolls around the taste in his mouth and starts towards his door.
“Good luck!” Keith calls, “Go get him!”
He’s still half stunned when he makes it to Kurt’s room and sits on his bed. He starts to try and explain what just happened with Brittany while trying not to pay attention to how well kissed Kurt’s lips look. He struggles not to surge forward and kiss Kurt, even when Kurt gives him this look that says he’s almost expecting him too. What was Brittany thinking? He couldn’t just start making out with his best friend.
Kurt finally rolls his eyes, grabs his phone and is suddenly talking to Rachel, telling her to fix this mess before it gets out of hand. It isn’t out of hand already?
Pairing: Kurt/Sam, Kurt/Blaine UST, Brittany/Artie, Brittany/Artie/Santana
Rating: R
Summary: When it gets out that Blaine doesn’t find Kurt sexy the ND kids set out to prove he is. Their plot to get Kurt and Blaine together backfires when Kurt ends up with Sam.
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Glee. It’s not my toy box, I’m merely playing. I also own nothing to do with Grease or Calamity Jane (the Doris Day movie Rachel and Kurt discuss) or the Kinsey scale.
Spoilers: “Sexy”
A/N: I upped the rating for Brittany’s swearing/dress. Also she kisses Blaine in this and then talks about making out with Kurt. Just a warning, am not trying to offend anyone.
Best Laid Plans:
Kurt tilts his head up to look at Rachel. She raises an eyebrow. He frowns as he explains, “We’ve already done Grease. It’s not what I want to be doing with Blaine.”
Rachel quirks her lips as he continues bitterly, “If he has to cast me as this naïve couldn’t he have at least given me a Doris Day role?”
“Crossdressing fun?” Rachel teases.
Kurt’s frown shifts slowly into a smile as he considered the possibilities.
“Do I get to be Katie Brown?”
“You’re not giving me fashion advice,” Kurt glares
Rachel laughs, “Not quite sure how we’d fit him in as Wild Bill.”
“I’m beginning to think he might fit better as Lieutenant Gilmartin,” Kurt tells her.
Their eyes meet. She shares his frown before she reveals, “I don’t get it.”
Kurt pushes himself up on his elbows and gives her a slightly confused look.
“You were a star Cherrio, you were also on the football team and for someone who professes his love for football as much as Blaine you’d think he’d find both those things sexy,” Rachel points out, “Plus he’s seen you in all your non-uniformed glory and heard you sing. If he can’t see that you’re sexy than I can’t believe I kissed such a loser.”
The expression she adds to her declaration has Kurt laughing.
“Only you would make this about you?”
“It’s always about me,” Rachel mocks with a flip of her hair before she settled down onto Kurt, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping an arm around him. She tilts her head upwards, “Besides you’re in Brittany’s top ten best kissers at McKinley, so what does he know?”
“Don’t even think about it Berry!”
“Don’t think about what?” she pouts.
“If you kiss me then you’ll never win back my brother,” he said, giving her a mock stern look.
Their lips quirk at the same time before they start to laugh and Rachel’s laugh turns into a squeal as his fingers hit her ribs. The doorbell rings and they pause.
“That’s ‘Cedes or Tina,” Rachel announces as she begins to smooth out her hair.
“Tina’s here this time?”
Rachel nods, “She told Mike she needs a girl’s night.”
Kurt smiled, then frowned, “Just don’t tell anyone okay.”
“That Blaine’s apparently an idiot?”
“He just doesn’t find me attractive,” Kurt shrugged.
Rachel rolls her eyes, “Maybe all the close proximity to you killed his brain cells.”
~~~~~*****~~~~~
After the whole kissing Rachel while drunk fiasco Blaine had decided that he was likely a Kinsey five, but only under the right circumstances. Looking up from his textbook to take in the leggy blonde in the doorway, when his roommate, Keith, lets out a choking noise, has him reconsidering that earlier conclusion. She’s poised there in an obvious pose. Her hair is teased, her skirt obscenely short and her top leaves little to the imagination. There are other clothes pooled around her feet and Blaine has to wonder if that is why his roommate is sitting there with his jaw practically on the floor. All Blaine can do is take in the predatory look on her face and realize that he should never have doubted himself, he’s a six, has always been a six and will always be a six, because her standing there looking for all the world as if she wants to eat him alive is doing nothing but making him wonder how to turn her down politely.
“B-brittany,” he tries to squeak out.
She stalks into the room, tosses his book on the floor, pushes him back onto his bed and gives him this Chesire-cat grin.
“I reall…”
His protest is cut off by her lips. Keith makes a choking strangled noise and Blaine is not quite sure how to be polite without kissing her back. He’ll tell her this isn’t a good idea when she stops. It’s not like she’s going to do more than kiss in front of Keith…he shrieks when she pinches his nipple.
Brittany pulls away with a pout, “I didn’t even get to use half my tricks.”
“Um, Brittany, aren’t you dating Artie?” Blaine points out.
“I have permission,” she tells him airily.
What is he suppose to say to that?
“To kiss you once,” she smirks before she rolls off him, strides back to the door and begins putting her outfit back together. It’s really less obscene with two more tops and leggings, though the skirt is really too short.
“Okay, that was a really nice kiss, but…”
“Of course it was,” she smirks, “I’m fucking fabulous. I’m Brittany bitch.”
“Your boyfriend is one lucky man,” Keith manages.
“He knows it,” Brittany preens as she gives Keith a smile, then she turns her attention back onto Blaine, “I tasted really good, didn’t I?”
She had, but what was she getting at.
“Yes,” he tries. How is he supposed to ask for an explanation?
“I tasted like Kurt.”
“Kurt?”
“I made out with him right before I came to find you.”
“Did Artie give you permission to do that too?”
Brittany rolls her eyes, “He’s on my list of cheats. I can make out with him whenever I want to. So if you ever get your act together and get with him you’d better realize that I get to make out with him whenever I want to. He’s amazing, so get with the kissing already.”
“List of cheats?” Blaine manages as she struts away.
“You know a list of people you have permission to cheat on your partner with if you ever get a chance with them and it won’t count as cheating,” Keith explains, “It’s usually celebrities you’d never in a million years meet.”
“Oh,” Blaine manages as he rolls around the taste in his mouth and starts towards his door.
“Good luck!” Keith calls, “Go get him!”
He’s still half stunned when he makes it to Kurt’s room and sits on his bed. He starts to try and explain what just happened with Brittany while trying not to pay attention to how well kissed Kurt’s lips look. He struggles not to surge forward and kiss Kurt, even when Kurt gives him this look that says he’s almost expecting him too. What was Brittany thinking? He couldn’t just start making out with his best friend.
Kurt finally rolls his eyes, grabs his phone and is suddenly talking to Rachel, telling her to fix this mess before it gets out of hand. It isn’t out of hand already?