I Could Have Danced All Night (4/10)
Title: I Could Have Danced All Night
Author: gleeful_fan
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Pairing(s): Kurt/Sam (some Sam/Quinn)
Warnings: Language, Some angst, No beta
Timeline/Spoilers: Everything through 2.10 is fair game, set Spring 2011 after Kurt returns to McKinley
Disclaimer: Don't own anything, just borrowing, please don't sue
Summary: Kurt finds out where Sam's head is at.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Sam spent the weekend in bed, not ready to face the world. He may have admitted to himself and his sister that he was gay, but he wasn’t really ready to tell anyone else, certainly not his mom or dad. So he faked a bad cold and was able to limit them to a couple of sympathetic bedside visits and some chicken soup for dinner. He also avoided Quinn’s calls, not yet ready to tell her the truth but not wanting to lie to her either.
Sam instead spent the weekend watching the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy extended edition, immersing himself into a world far away from all his current problems. But he couldn’t avoid reality forever, so he got dressed on Monday and trudged to school, hoping to get through the day as quickly and easily as possible.
That was not to be, though, as Quinn found him at his locker just before first period. “Sam! There you are, where were you this weekend? You weren’t online and didn’t respond to my calls or texts. It’s like you disappeared.”
“I’m really sorry, I was just dealing with some stuff with my sister and I never got a chance to call you back.” Despite managing to not outright lie to her, Sam could hardly look at Quinn without feeling guilty. He focused on pulling his books out of his locker and prayed for the bell to ring and save him from this conversation.
“It’s fine; just don’t let it happen again.” Quinn said teasingly as Sam, finished with his locker, turned and faced her. “So what was up anyway? Is your sister having trouble at school?”
“Um . . .” Thankfully, the bell answered Sam’s prayers and gave him a temporary reprieve. “We can talk about it later; I don’t want to be late to class.” Quinn looked on quizzically as he practically ran down the hallway. She was pretty sure his first class was in the opposite direction.
*
Sam wondered how long he could plausibly stay in a bathroom stall before someone tried to investigate. He had done pretty well after his early morning encounter with Quinn, not talking to anyone during his classes and rushing through the hallways in between periods without stopping to acknowledge anyone. It was lunchtime now, though, and he had run out of ideas so he had ducked into the bathroom, figuring it would buy him a few minutes.
Sam knew he was acting a bit crazy, but he felt like any conversation he got into would somehow lead to Quinn or Kurt or something gay-related and put him on the spot. And he hated lying (he was terrible at it anyway) but he wasn’t ready to put the conclusions he had come to in his head into public words just yet.
After a few more minutes in the stall Sam figured he should get moving, lest anyone think he was sick or doing drugs or something. Of course, as Sam exited the stall, Kurt entered the bathroom.
“Oh. Hey Sam,” Kurt said. “How’s it going?”
“It’s gay. I mean, it’s good. Not that it’s not gay, you know. Whatever it is.” Sam paused for a moment, trying to think of a reasonable thing to say next, but could only come up with “I’m just gonna stop talking now.”
“Ooooooo-kay.” Kurt turned to one of the mirrors and started rubbing his face with something Sam figured probably helped make his skin so pretty.
“How are you?” Sam asked, figuring politeness would be safe.
“I am both good and gay, actually, so it’s been a normal day for me so far.” Sam smiled at that. Maybe talking to Kurt would be a good idea after all.
“So, do you maybe have some time to talk? About, you know, me and what happened and stuff?”
Kurt immediately threw whatever it was he was using into his bag. “Yes, now’s good for me, how about you?" Sam nodded. “Great. I bet the bleachers are empty” Kurt grabbed Sam’s arm and led him out of the bathroom. Sam could only grin at the fact that he was obviously not the only one who had spent a lot of time thinking about what happened last week as he followed Kurt outside.
*
Kurt had been so good. Really he deserved a medal for his actions over the past 72 hours. After he had left Sam in the gym on Friday, he went straight home. He had dinner with his dad, Carole and Finn, just like it was a normal Friday. He went over to hang out at Mercedes' house, just like normal. He did not mention Sam to anyone. He didn’t call Blaine and go over every detail of what happened in the gym, even though he REALLY wanted to. He did not call Sam, even though he REALLY, REALLY wanted to. He was patient, which is not something Kurt was exactly used to.
So when Sam asked if he wanted to talk, Kurt seized the day. After all, Sam had kissed him, not just a peck on the lips but a real kiss. And said that it was because of Kurt, not just because he was the only gay kid Sam knew. This could mean something real and Kurt didn’t exactly get an opportunity like that every day.
The only problem was that now they were on the bleachers and Kurt didn’t know what to say. Sam was hunched forward with his elbows on his knees, staring off across the field. Should Kurt be confrontational? Sympathetic? Break the ice with a joke? Luckily, Sam started talking and saved Kurt from having to go first.
“So after what happened on Friday, I wandered around a lot, which didn’t really help. I kind of got wrapped up in my own head, felt like I was going a little crazy. But then I called my sister and told her pretty much everything. And she pretty much set me straight. Well, not straight but you know what I mean.” Sam smiled a bit at that.
“So that means you are gay?”
Sam nodded. “Yeah, I’m gay.”
Kurt couldn’t help but grin at Sam’s admission, but he quickly wiped it away. Now certainly wasn’t the time to imagine the possibilities that came along with Sam being gay. Now was about helping Sam deal.
“So how are you feeling about this? Are you ok?”
“Well it’s not my favorite idea, but there’s not much I can do about it. I’m pretty much ok in my own head now. But the idea of talking about it with anyone except my sister and now you is pretty terrifying.”
“That’s understandable. I had years to come to term with being gay before I told anyone. It’ll take some time for you to get used to it, but eventually it’ll become just another part of who you are.”
“Yeah, I guess. Any other sage advice?”
Kurt thought for a moment. “Well I can’t promise you it’ll be a cakewalk. Really, being gay in Lima sucks. And there aren’t exactly a lot of us. But it’s a hell of a lot better that pretending to be straight. I tried that for like a week and it was a disaster.”
That got a smile of Sam. “You pretended to be straight? Wow, you’ll have to tell me about that someday. Do you know who else in Lima is gay?”
Kurt was thankful Karofsky was gone so he didn’t have to get into that story. “Well, there’s you and me and Rachel’s dads. And my friend Blaine, you know the lead singer of the Warblers? But that’s everyone I know about.”
“Wow, pretty small group."
"Well, I'm sure there are others in town and at this school. That's just who I know about."
"So did you and Blaine ever date?”
“No, I had a crush on him at first, but nothing ever happened and now we’re just good friends. I’ve never actually been on a real date.” Kurt winced. “Sorry, I’m supposed to be making you feel better and here I am whining about my own life.”
“Don’t worry about it. And I haven’t ever been on a date with a guy either, so I guess we’re in the same boat.”
Just then the bell rang. “Well, we should probably head to class.” Sam said. “Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime,” Kurt said as Sam collected his things. “Oh wait! I forgot one thing I was going to say earlier.” Sam turned back to Kurt. “I know you said you were scared of talking to anyone else about this. And I totally get it. But there’s one person you really need to tell as soon as possible. It’s really not fair to put Quinn in this situation. Imagine if something crazy happened and she hears it from somebody else. She’d never forgive you.”
Sam sighed. “I know. You’re right. I'm just really not looking forward to it.”
“Do you want me to be there, to help?”
“No, but thanks. I’ll figure out something. See you later, Kurt.”
*
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m sorry. It’s not you. I just can’t have a girlfriend right now.” Even though he’d never done it before, Sam was not surprised to find that he was terrible at breakups.
“Why can’t you have a girlfriend? Did your parents say that?”
“No, I’m just confused right now. I’m sorry.” Sam genuinely liked Quinn, but she could be really scary when she was angry. He’s really glad he decided to do this afterschool when no one else was around and not in the hallway.
“Yeah, you said that already. And what exactly are you confused about? You didn’t seem very confused when you got down on one knee and begged to accept your stupid promise ring.” Quinn took off the ring and threw it at him.
Sam closed his eyes for a moment, trying to remain calm. “That was a mistake, which is again totally my fault. I know it seems like I led you on, but I really didn’t mean to. I’m just not who I thought I was when I was doing those things.”
“What does that even mean? You’re talking gibberish and breaking up with me for seemingly no reason at all. What the hell, Sam?”
“I’m gay!” Sam finally blurted out. That seemed to actually stop Quinn in her tracks. “I guess I just fully realized it a few days ago, but it’s true.”
Sam had hoped that this might make Quinn more understanding of their situation, but instead it got him literally slapped in the face.
Quinn was now barely holding back tears. “I asked you. I asked you that very first night at Breadstix and you said no. You made it seem like the most ridiculous question. And now, now after all these months you tell me I’ve been your beard. Well fuck you, Sam.”
“Quinn, it’s not like that-”
“Get away from me Sam. Just go away.”
Sam waited a moment longer, but eventually walked away and headed towards his car.
He wanted to believe that there was a better way for that to have gone, but somehow he doubted it. Now he just really wanted to see Kurt and talk to him about what had happened.
But really, Sam thought, after all Kurt had done for him, he should be doing something nice for him, not bringing him more problems. This gave Sam an idea and he headed off towards his house.
*
Kurt didn’t see Sam for the rest of the day, but couldn’t shake the giddy feeling he had since leaving his talk with Sam. As he started his moisturizing routine later that night, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.
Sam was GAY. He had said it out loud and actually seemed pretty ok, all things considered. Kurt tried not to get ahead of things but he couldn’t help himself. After nothing ended up happening with Blaine, he had pretty much given up on having a boyfriend until he got to college. And now it actually seemed like Sam might become his boyfriend at some point down the road.
Stop it, Kurt he told himself. He had no real proof that Sam wanted to be his boyfriend. Kurt’s heart had been stomped on enough already, why couldn’t he keep it better protected?
Just then he heard a noise outside his window. He walked out of the bathroom so he could get a look at his window. And Holy Shit Sam was knocking on his window.
Thanks god he hadn’t actually put any creams on his face yet or changed into pajamas. If that had happened, Kurt could have never faced Sam again. He walked quickly over to the window and cracked it open.
“Sam what the hell are you doing here? Do you want my father to kill you?”
“I have a surprise for you. Can you sneak out?”
“What? Sam, it’s almost midnight, if my Dad caught me, I’d be grounded for life.”
“C’mon, please? All the other lights are off in the house, I bet everyone else is asleep.”
Kurt thought for a moment. On the one hand, if his Dad found out, it would be very bad. But whatever this surprise was, Sam seemed really excited about it. And Kurt couldn’t help but think about that possible future with Sam as his boyfriend.
“Fine, but if we get caught, you are explaining this to my Dad.”
“Awesome, meet me out front.”
Kurt put on his shoes and threw on a coat. He tiptoed upstairs, carefully opened his front door, and followed Sam out into the moonlit night.
Author: gleeful_fan
Rating: PG-13 (for now)
Pairing(s): Kurt/Sam (some Sam/Quinn)
Warnings: Language, Some angst, No beta
Timeline/Spoilers: Everything through 2.10 is fair game, set Spring 2011 after Kurt returns to McKinley
Disclaimer: Don't own anything, just borrowing, please don't sue
Summary: Kurt finds out where Sam's head is at.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Sam spent the weekend in bed, not ready to face the world. He may have admitted to himself and his sister that he was gay, but he wasn’t really ready to tell anyone else, certainly not his mom or dad. So he faked a bad cold and was able to limit them to a couple of sympathetic bedside visits and some chicken soup for dinner. He also avoided Quinn’s calls, not yet ready to tell her the truth but not wanting to lie to her either.
Sam instead spent the weekend watching the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy extended edition, immersing himself into a world far away from all his current problems. But he couldn’t avoid reality forever, so he got dressed on Monday and trudged to school, hoping to get through the day as quickly and easily as possible.
That was not to be, though, as Quinn found him at his locker just before first period. “Sam! There you are, where were you this weekend? You weren’t online and didn’t respond to my calls or texts. It’s like you disappeared.”
“I’m really sorry, I was just dealing with some stuff with my sister and I never got a chance to call you back.” Despite managing to not outright lie to her, Sam could hardly look at Quinn without feeling guilty. He focused on pulling his books out of his locker and prayed for the bell to ring and save him from this conversation.
“It’s fine; just don’t let it happen again.” Quinn said teasingly as Sam, finished with his locker, turned and faced her. “So what was up anyway? Is your sister having trouble at school?”
“Um . . .” Thankfully, the bell answered Sam’s prayers and gave him a temporary reprieve. “We can talk about it later; I don’t want to be late to class.” Quinn looked on quizzically as he practically ran down the hallway. She was pretty sure his first class was in the opposite direction.
*
Sam wondered how long he could plausibly stay in a bathroom stall before someone tried to investigate. He had done pretty well after his early morning encounter with Quinn, not talking to anyone during his classes and rushing through the hallways in between periods without stopping to acknowledge anyone. It was lunchtime now, though, and he had run out of ideas so he had ducked into the bathroom, figuring it would buy him a few minutes.
Sam knew he was acting a bit crazy, but he felt like any conversation he got into would somehow lead to Quinn or Kurt or something gay-related and put him on the spot. And he hated lying (he was terrible at it anyway) but he wasn’t ready to put the conclusions he had come to in his head into public words just yet.
After a few more minutes in the stall Sam figured he should get moving, lest anyone think he was sick or doing drugs or something. Of course, as Sam exited the stall, Kurt entered the bathroom.
“Oh. Hey Sam,” Kurt said. “How’s it going?”
“It’s gay. I mean, it’s good. Not that it’s not gay, you know. Whatever it is.” Sam paused for a moment, trying to think of a reasonable thing to say next, but could only come up with “I’m just gonna stop talking now.”
“Ooooooo-kay.” Kurt turned to one of the mirrors and started rubbing his face with something Sam figured probably helped make his skin so pretty.
“How are you?” Sam asked, figuring politeness would be safe.
“I am both good and gay, actually, so it’s been a normal day for me so far.” Sam smiled at that. Maybe talking to Kurt would be a good idea after all.
“So, do you maybe have some time to talk? About, you know, me and what happened and stuff?”
Kurt immediately threw whatever it was he was using into his bag. “Yes, now’s good for me, how about you?" Sam nodded. “Great. I bet the bleachers are empty” Kurt grabbed Sam’s arm and led him out of the bathroom. Sam could only grin at the fact that he was obviously not the only one who had spent a lot of time thinking about what happened last week as he followed Kurt outside.
*
Kurt had been so good. Really he deserved a medal for his actions over the past 72 hours. After he had left Sam in the gym on Friday, he went straight home. He had dinner with his dad, Carole and Finn, just like it was a normal Friday. He went over to hang out at Mercedes' house, just like normal. He did not mention Sam to anyone. He didn’t call Blaine and go over every detail of what happened in the gym, even though he REALLY wanted to. He did not call Sam, even though he REALLY, REALLY wanted to. He was patient, which is not something Kurt was exactly used to.
So when Sam asked if he wanted to talk, Kurt seized the day. After all, Sam had kissed him, not just a peck on the lips but a real kiss. And said that it was because of Kurt, not just because he was the only gay kid Sam knew. This could mean something real and Kurt didn’t exactly get an opportunity like that every day.
The only problem was that now they were on the bleachers and Kurt didn’t know what to say. Sam was hunched forward with his elbows on his knees, staring off across the field. Should Kurt be confrontational? Sympathetic? Break the ice with a joke? Luckily, Sam started talking and saved Kurt from having to go first.
“So after what happened on Friday, I wandered around a lot, which didn’t really help. I kind of got wrapped up in my own head, felt like I was going a little crazy. But then I called my sister and told her pretty much everything. And she pretty much set me straight. Well, not straight but you know what I mean.” Sam smiled a bit at that.
“So that means you are gay?”
Sam nodded. “Yeah, I’m gay.”
Kurt couldn’t help but grin at Sam’s admission, but he quickly wiped it away. Now certainly wasn’t the time to imagine the possibilities that came along with Sam being gay. Now was about helping Sam deal.
“So how are you feeling about this? Are you ok?”
“Well it’s not my favorite idea, but there’s not much I can do about it. I’m pretty much ok in my own head now. But the idea of talking about it with anyone except my sister and now you is pretty terrifying.”
“That’s understandable. I had years to come to term with being gay before I told anyone. It’ll take some time for you to get used to it, but eventually it’ll become just another part of who you are.”
“Yeah, I guess. Any other sage advice?”
Kurt thought for a moment. “Well I can’t promise you it’ll be a cakewalk. Really, being gay in Lima sucks. And there aren’t exactly a lot of us. But it’s a hell of a lot better that pretending to be straight. I tried that for like a week and it was a disaster.”
That got a smile of Sam. “You pretended to be straight? Wow, you’ll have to tell me about that someday. Do you know who else in Lima is gay?”
Kurt was thankful Karofsky was gone so he didn’t have to get into that story. “Well, there’s you and me and Rachel’s dads. And my friend Blaine, you know the lead singer of the Warblers? But that’s everyone I know about.”
“Wow, pretty small group."
"Well, I'm sure there are others in town and at this school. That's just who I know about."
"So did you and Blaine ever date?”
“No, I had a crush on him at first, but nothing ever happened and now we’re just good friends. I’ve never actually been on a real date.” Kurt winced. “Sorry, I’m supposed to be making you feel better and here I am whining about my own life.”
“Don’t worry about it. And I haven’t ever been on a date with a guy either, so I guess we’re in the same boat.”
Just then the bell rang. “Well, we should probably head to class.” Sam said. “Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime,” Kurt said as Sam collected his things. “Oh wait! I forgot one thing I was going to say earlier.” Sam turned back to Kurt. “I know you said you were scared of talking to anyone else about this. And I totally get it. But there’s one person you really need to tell as soon as possible. It’s really not fair to put Quinn in this situation. Imagine if something crazy happened and she hears it from somebody else. She’d never forgive you.”
Sam sighed. “I know. You’re right. I'm just really not looking forward to it.”
“Do you want me to be there, to help?”
“No, but thanks. I’ll figure out something. See you later, Kurt.”
*
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m sorry. It’s not you. I just can’t have a girlfriend right now.” Even though he’d never done it before, Sam was not surprised to find that he was terrible at breakups.
“Why can’t you have a girlfriend? Did your parents say that?”
“No, I’m just confused right now. I’m sorry.” Sam genuinely liked Quinn, but she could be really scary when she was angry. He’s really glad he decided to do this afterschool when no one else was around and not in the hallway.
“Yeah, you said that already. And what exactly are you confused about? You didn’t seem very confused when you got down on one knee and begged to accept your stupid promise ring.” Quinn took off the ring and threw it at him.
Sam closed his eyes for a moment, trying to remain calm. “That was a mistake, which is again totally my fault. I know it seems like I led you on, but I really didn’t mean to. I’m just not who I thought I was when I was doing those things.”
“What does that even mean? You’re talking gibberish and breaking up with me for seemingly no reason at all. What the hell, Sam?”
“I’m gay!” Sam finally blurted out. That seemed to actually stop Quinn in her tracks. “I guess I just fully realized it a few days ago, but it’s true.”
Sam had hoped that this might make Quinn more understanding of their situation, but instead it got him literally slapped in the face.
Quinn was now barely holding back tears. “I asked you. I asked you that very first night at Breadstix and you said no. You made it seem like the most ridiculous question. And now, now after all these months you tell me I’ve been your beard. Well fuck you, Sam.”
“Quinn, it’s not like that-”
“Get away from me Sam. Just go away.”
Sam waited a moment longer, but eventually walked away and headed towards his car.
He wanted to believe that there was a better way for that to have gone, but somehow he doubted it. Now he just really wanted to see Kurt and talk to him about what had happened.
But really, Sam thought, after all Kurt had done for him, he should be doing something nice for him, not bringing him more problems. This gave Sam an idea and he headed off towards his house.
*
Kurt didn’t see Sam for the rest of the day, but couldn’t shake the giddy feeling he had since leaving his talk with Sam. As he started his moisturizing routine later that night, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.
Sam was GAY. He had said it out loud and actually seemed pretty ok, all things considered. Kurt tried not to get ahead of things but he couldn’t help himself. After nothing ended up happening with Blaine, he had pretty much given up on having a boyfriend until he got to college. And now it actually seemed like Sam might become his boyfriend at some point down the road.
Stop it, Kurt he told himself. He had no real proof that Sam wanted to be his boyfriend. Kurt’s heart had been stomped on enough already, why couldn’t he keep it better protected?
Just then he heard a noise outside his window. He walked out of the bathroom so he could get a look at his window. And Holy Shit Sam was knocking on his window.
Thanks god he hadn’t actually put any creams on his face yet or changed into pajamas. If that had happened, Kurt could have never faced Sam again. He walked quickly over to the window and cracked it open.
“Sam what the hell are you doing here? Do you want my father to kill you?”
“I have a surprise for you. Can you sneak out?”
“What? Sam, it’s almost midnight, if my Dad caught me, I’d be grounded for life.”
“C’mon, please? All the other lights are off in the house, I bet everyone else is asleep.”
Kurt thought for a moment. On the one hand, if his Dad found out, it would be very bad. But whatever this surprise was, Sam seemed really excited about it. And Kurt couldn’t help but think about that possible future with Sam as his boyfriend.
“Fine, but if we get caught, you are explaining this to my Dad.”
“Awesome, meet me out front.”
Kurt put on his shoes and threw on a coat. He tiptoed upstairs, carefully opened his front door, and followed Sam out into the moonlit night.