Fic: Belong to Me, Belong to You (Glee, Finn/Rachel, 2/2)
Fic: Belong to Me, Belong to You
Author: Samantha samirant
Rating: PG
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Continued from Part 1
Standing in Will's driveway with an overnight bag in one hand and grocery bag in the other, Finn waited as his friend kissed his wife goodbye. Will took his time, placing his hands on her swollen belly and talking to it as if the kid inside were totally into a conversation; Finn gave them all an awkward wave when they looked over. He was anxious to get on the road, but probably just as eager to stay.
"Promise you'll be careful?" Emma asked Will when he finally turned his face back to hers.
"Of course."
"No speeding? No public rest stops? If it starts raining, you'll pull over until it's finished?"
"Absolutely." Will held his hand to her cheek and kissed her again. He said something under his breath that only Emma could hear and she gave Finn a quick look before nodding. "I'll call when we're halfway."
Emma grasped her fingers together, as if she physically needed to bind herself so Will could unlock the doors. Finn had already thrown his stuff inside and was clicking his seatbelt in when Will finally got behind the wheel. Putting the car into reverse, Will said, "Sorry we made you wait. It's hard for Emma, and for me. She wishes she could be coming, too."
But if she had, Finn wouldn't have a ticket; after all, it hadn't been meant for him in the first place. "How much longer does she have?"
"Just under a month. We went to the doctor's this morning to make sure everything was okay. He said it was safe enough for me to go out of town at least a couple of days. Her, too." Will put on his sunglasses to counteract the sun streaming in the windshield. "But you know Emma, one internet article on the likelihood of deep vein thrombosis in pregnant women sitting for a long time and she's passing on her ticket to you."
"What's deep vein thrombosis?"
"No idea."
They grinned at each other.
Will reached over and turned on the air conditioner. Within seconds, the sticky feeling the summer heat had left on him started to disappear and Finn eased back in his seat. He closed his eyes, waiting for the onslaught, just as the last few days had warned him was coming. Instead, Will just turned on the radio and started tapping along to the beat on the steering wheel.
Finn opened one eye and peeked over at his friend. Will continued to merely keep his gaze out the window, making the appropriate turns and yields that would lead them to the highway. At a red light, however, he glanced back and caught Finn staring at him in wonder. "What?"
"Nothing, I just…" Finn tried shrugging away the question. "Never mind."
"Last couple of days rough on you?"
Finn threw his head back. "You have no idea."
"I figured that might happen."
"You could have warned me."
"I did warn you."
"Yeah, in that ridiculously subtle way that you know goes over my head half the time."
"Finn, you've graduated from a top Ohio university and you teach for a living. You can't play the Dumb Jock card anymore."
"Yeah, I know."
Both men sighed, Will out of amusement and Finn with the uneasy recognition that maybe change was always going to happen, whether he liked it or not.
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Finn couldn't pinpoint the moment where things started to go wrong; he'd been so content in their life together that maybe, he would admit later, just maybe he'd purposefully turned a blind eye to Rachel's growing uneasiness. Maybe he wouldn't have jumped to the conclusion that it was only something wrong between them, but instead realized that it was an unforeseen challenge that was starting to tear her down. She was Rachel Berry, after all, he'd been certain for years that she was indestructible.
But that's when Blaise Beck showed up.
Stupidest name he'd ever heard, Finn had thought, at least until he knew the guy well enough to hate him simply for existing.
A lot of people, once they heard of Blaise, nodded understandingly, very Oh, dear, she was tempted away, I see… until Finn made it clear that Blaise was so effeminate, he made Kurt Hummel look butch. Years later, it would still make him seethe with anger that so many people automatically assumed Rachel had been unfaithful. It wasn't like that. If it had been, Finn hoped he would have stepped in sooner. Stepped in at all.
Rachel mentioned Blaise a couple times over the years with admiration in her voice, talking about a graduating upperclassman at Juilliard who'd trained on Broadway as a child; she was cutely jealous and star struck, particularly when at an end-of-term party, Blaise had approached her and praised her performance in a workshop. Finn had been happy for her, even though he was slightly skeptical of the guy in front of him, dressed head to toe in black with a bright red scarf and itty-bitty wire-rimmed glasses. It was almost summer, for heaven's sake. He amused himself with the thought that Kurt would have peed himself with envy.
The first big sign of change was Rachel's decision not to visit Lima that summer before junior year, instead working with Blaise on an independent production he was setting up in Central Park. Finn had been disappointed and more than a little confused when he paged through the script while she double-checked his suitcase. Usually Rachel's scripts were highlighted to the extreme with her parts; often she was a supporting character, or understudy to the lead.
Not one part of the script in his hands had been highlighted though. He'd looked twice.
It wasn't until he'd gotten back to Lima that he could call and ask what the unmarked script had meant; Rachel breezed over his questions and somewhere along the way he pieced together than Rachel wasn't in the show at all, but rather working as a stagehand. When he returned to New York after a two week visit at home, he hardly saw her for three days straight, she was so busy running Blaise's last minute errands. From the way she described everything, Rachel made her part seem vital, but Finn's first inklings of discomfort began to form when everything she talked about made her seem less vital and more ruled over by a man with a ridiculous name and worse wardrobe.
Their junior year started and somehow Blaise started to work into their daily lives. He brought around his own friends, some douchey artsy types that put their heads close together whenever Finn walked in the door, murmuring as if to show that he wasn't worthy to hear their conversation, even though they were in his own damn apartment.
Rachel beamed when Blaise called her Darling and just brought everyone drinks.
For weeks Finn tamped down on his own growing dread, especially when he asked Rachel just why Blaise was so important and she started in at top speed at all the connections he still had on Broadway, the people he'd promised to introduce her to upon graduation, the parts he was already dreaming up for her. The idea didn't seem as exciting as it would have been only the previous spring.
Rachel started practicing all the time, running scales over and over to technical perfection, but somehow to Finn's ears missing something important. She started to go for even more auditions, so many that their bedside table was often littered with discarded newspaper ads. Two months went by and no tablet paper showed up on his pillow; Finn surprised himself by feeling alarm instead of relief. Maybe it was Rachel's growing fervor as she checked her voicemail and slumped dejectedly at the results. Maybe it was the way Blaise and his pseudo-wise advice popped into their daily conversation, or the way Rachel had been taken aback when Finn hesitantly asked if Blaise needed to come around so often. The fight that followed would have made someone think that he'd denied her fathers a visit, let alone some douche bag that had somehow managed to make Finn's girlfriend into his personal lackey.
Honestly, Finn had never been more worried than the moment Rachel broke three days worth of a grade-A silent treatment by bursting into tears upon hearing her voicemail and happily announcing that Blaise had secured her the lead in his next project.
Finn never told her that the news sent him straight to the bathroom so he could throw up. He wished he had. Because that girl in the next room, clinging to the phone, ecstatically and desperately calling friends he didn't know, that wasn't his Rachel. Finn didn't know where she'd gone at all.
Things got worse, so much that he didn't know what to do. All Finn wanted was for things to go back the way they used to be, when Rachel was actually present with him in bed, in his life. So many times he'd wanted to turn to her, to remind her that she'd never needed someone else's validation, that she'd always been an incredible person, that he'd always known that she would succeed, even if they both had to pay their dues first.
He never said a word. Pride kept him back, as did his growing certainty that things between them were falling apart even as so many of her dreams appeared to be coming true. A deep fear formed, growing more certain with time that if Rachel was forced to decide, he may not be her first choice anymore.
Finally, it broke.
In mid-November, three weeks before the opening of the show, Finn decided to visit during rehearsals and had brought food from work as a peace-offering. It'd been two days since he and Rachel had spent any time together, if passing by in the bathroom could be counted. Naiveté couldn't be indulged anymore; he knew it wasn't Rachel's schedule that kept her busy, but instead a chasm had formed between them that he had no idea how to cross.
Finn heard the yelling before opening the door and knew instinctively that it was Blaise; he seemed the type to be a jerk when directing and Finn had taken deep breath before entering so as to not show his anger. It wouldn't help any to show anymore disapproval if he wanted to start patching things up.
But it didn't help at all either to see Rachel on stage, her head bowed to Blaise's tirade, nodding with short, jerky movements. His heart had clenched as he realized she was crying. Crying. Rachel, on the stage, her stage, was being shut down as if she were nothing. Finn had thought before then that she had started to seem a stranger, but in that moment he knew he had to do something about it.
Blaise didn't see him coming; it was a quick grab, turn, and then Finn's fist was in the air and Blaise had gone down with a squeal. And when Rachel went first to the man on the ground, Finn knew it was over.
It was over even before the apocalyptic fight they had that night in the apartment, before he stayed the last few weeks of the semester with some friends from school and they called it 'space', before they traveled separately home for the holidays.
Finn went back to New York two days before Rachel did, packed up his things and was back in Ohio before she'd returned to the city.
He never called and neither did she.
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"Finn?" The knock on the door was gentle, polite. He could only respond with a moan as he dropped his face on the toilet seat. Will took that as an invitation and eased open the bathroom door. He was holding both their suits and hung them in a closet provided by the hotel before coming nearer.
"Apparently," Finn said faintly as he reached up and flushed, "I have a nervous stomach."
Will folded his legs underneath himself and sat down with his back to the doorjamb. Finn closed his eyes rather than look at his long-time friend, hoping maybe he wouldn't feel quite so embarrassed. All the same, Will wasn't one to kick people when they were already down; it was one of the reasons he was the first to know what had happened in New York.
"I don't think I ever thanked you," Finn said from his crouched position. "For everything, getting things together so I could finish school, pulling strings, getting me off my ass…"
"You thanked me plenty of times."
"I was a mess, Will. I know it, you know it, and apparently so does everyone else." Finn thought back to the spring semester where he should have been finishing his junior year, but had instead secluded himself in Lima. To this day, he had no idea how many people Will had talked to in order to get him an interview for the Cleveland Institute of Music, but it had been the one thing that made him finally emerge after months of self-pity. "You got me into school, yeah, but you got me to actually work at being a part of my own life again. There's no way I can ever thank you enough for that."
"Well, how else am I supposed to get students interested in joining the glee club when they get to freshman year? I think I did myself a favor by getting someone to influence them during middle school," Will replied with a chuckle. When Finn opened his eyes and gave him a serious look, Will's laugh faded.
"Come on, Finn, what else could I do?" he asked with a sigh. "I saw my friend fading, I couldn't just let that happen without trying to help."
Finn squinted at him. "You're doing that teaching thing again. Why do I feel I'm supposed to be applying this to Rachel and me?"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make a point on who was wrong or right," Will said, holding up a hand. It made him feel like he was back in high school, where Will often had laid out the crumbs and Finn was left to find out his own answers based on the hints in front of him. Eleven years from then to now and it was just like old times. "But I have a feeling you'll give me a different answer these days as to why everything went wrong. So… why did it?"
Seven years before he'd placed the blame solely on Blaise, on the way he'd seduced Rachel with the idea of stardom, convinced her that only his opinion was important. Finn thought back on the accusations he'd made and wanted to shake some sense into his younger self.
"It was both our faults," he finally said slowly. It wasn't a new revelation, but still hurt to admit. "Rachel wanted things to be as she'd always dreamed and I… I just wanted things to stay exactly how they were because it was my dream."
Will nodded thoughtfully.
"And my dream hasn't changed, not really." Finn sat up and slumped back against the cold tub. "I never got over Rachel. I'm still not over her."
He waited for Will's response and was annoyed when he looked over and saw the unsurprised expression on his friend's face. "You could at least be a little shocked by that."
"I would be, if you didn't flinch every time her name came up or if you ever dated a girl for more than a few months at a time." Will gave him a wry grin that said no offense and Finn figured he couldn't be that annoyed by the plain truth.
"Do you think," Finn paused and cleared his throat, "do you think she's over me?"
With sympathetic eyes, Will said, "I honestly don't know. I was never as close to Rachel as I am to you. Nobody-"
Stopping short, Will seemed unable to find the words, but Finn knew what he was looking for. "Nobody but me. No one knew Rachel like I did and I left. I just left." A hard lump formed in his throat. "I abandoned her, Will."
"Don't paint it like that, you're not giving either of you any credit. You were causing each other more harm than good at that point. Yes, you left, but Rachel was always a strong person and it wouldn't have done her any favors for you to fix everything for her, to force her to see the path she'd let herself be guided into." Will shook his head when Finn nodded numbly. "No, listen to me, Finn. This thing with Rachel, her focus on being a star, wanting to be universally loved, personally, I think something like this was bound to happen. Until she learned to be more discerning, Rachel was always going to be an easy mark for predators like Blaise."
"Blaise Beck, what a stupid name," Finn muttered.
"Focus."
Finn sighed. "I know, sorry."
"Perhaps you could have responded differently, but Finn, you were both kids. I know at that age, people don't want to hear that, but you were. You'd been together since you were sixteen, where success came in big ways with trophies and you had a strong community around you, where I was just down the hall instead of in another state and Rachel had her fathers close by to keep her grounded. It's not weak to admit that you both made mistakes; it would be weak to not learn from what you experienced. You both did the best you could and it's not shameful that you both may have failed in your first attempt. Most everyone does."
Wiping at his eyes, Finn took a few minutes before he could respond. He wished he'd realized these things seven years before, learned the lessons without losing his idealism, or Rachel for that matter. He missed her in that moment as he had the day he returned to Lima with packed boxes and a broken heart. And he still loved her just as desperately.
"I think it'll kill me," he said hoarsely, "if it turns out she got over all of this years ago. If she's barely thought of me since then."
"And that may be the most ridiculous thing I've heard you say in a very long time, Finn Hudson."
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Stuart had looked on as a father and found his daughter captivating. Finn saw with the eyes of a man who had loved and lost Rachel Berry and when he looked at the figure on the stage, he felt pure joy. Joy to see her again, to see her succeed, to share her gift with the world. He realized, while watching her, why Will had called him ridiculous.
His friend hadn't been trying to tell him that Rachel had still thought of him, but instead that if what they'd once had was truly over, Finn was still going to be okay. He had strong friendships and a talent as a teacher, patiently guiding students to learn scales, read music and navigate performances as someone had once taught him. And when he looked at Rachel on the stage, he saw it was hers again, no one was beating her down with words or false power.
He was Finn and she was Rachel. They each belonged to themselves again.
There, sitting in a crowded room, surrounded on all sides, Finn felt like he was taking his first full breath in years.
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"You don't think it's too much?"
"Nah, she'll love it," Will said reassuringly, indicating the full bouquet of deep red roses Finn had run down the street to buy right after the show was over. It'd cost him an arm and a leg, but somehow he felt like he needed something to hold when they met with up with Rachel, maybe to keep himself from reaching out for her. Just because he finally felt like himself again didn't mean that impulse was gone.
The crowd was slowly dispersing and they'd taken up a small space several feet from the back exit, where Rachel had apparently told Will where she'd most likely be found. It'd been almost an hour, the most torturous he could ever remember. Finn jiggled each of his feet in turn. "I'm nervous."
"I'd tell you that you have no reason to be, but I'd be lying."
"I guess my only hope is that she's nervous, too."
"I was."
Finn turned on the spot at the familiar voice, what had stayed with him for years on end. Rachel stood before him, her face scrubbed clean, a little older and with a calm gleam in her eyes. Different, but still so much the same.
"I was, but now," it wasn't a gleam, there were actually tears in Rachel's eyes and they welled up further, "now I'm just really, really happy. Hi, Finn."
Without a word, Finn passed the roses back to Will and reached out for her anyway. Her hair brushed his cheek where they pressed together and her arms looped around his neck. His arms found their way to her waist and for several seconds they just held each other closely. Finn shut his eyes tight, trying to memorize every inch of that moment.
They slowly eased apart, but Finn softly touched his hands to her face.
"Me too," Finn murmured. "I'm really happy to see you."
Rachel put her hands over his before he could let go, but then shook her head slightly as if to clear it and brushed away the tears that had fallen. Looking over at Will, she asked, "Are those for me?"
"Nice to see you too, Rachel," Will said dryly from behind the flowers.
"Oh, come here," Rachel took the flowers and passed them to Finn to hold as she gave Will a tight hug. "I'm so glad you made it."
"You were phenomenal," Will told her earnestly. "I cannot tell you how proud I was to see you up there."
"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me." Rachel beamed at Will, but then turned her eyes to the roses and breathed them in deeply as Finn still held them. Raising her gaze to his, she quietly said, "Thank you."
"Here." Finn passed them to her arms and felt his chest constrict when their hands brushed against each other. So many years and she still did that to him. He wondered if she always would.
"Now if you'll excuse me," Will's voice startled them both, "I promised I'd call my wife as soon as we saw you, so here."
He passed the phone to Rachel and when the call connected, she moved a few steps away. Will moved in closer and gave Finn a searching look. In response, Finn gave him a sure nod and took a few deep, even breaths. After about five minutes of chatting, Rachel passed the phone back to Will; she stood in silence with Finn as the conversation ended. They stood side-by-side, hands in their pockets until Will turned back.
"Come on, let's go get a bite to eat."
Rachel guided them to a diner Finn had remembered from long before; it held a lot of good memories and he smiled at her as they slid into a booth. It was easier with Will there, talking about students and glee club, where their old classmates were and what they were up to. Finn filled Rachel in on Artie and Tina's long-time dance around one another, how he'd already secured the best man position though it had to be at least five years away.
She told them about her grueling rehearsals and the friends she spent time with during her few breaks; a couple names sounded familiar, but Finn allowed himself a little pleasure when Blaise nor his friends weren't mentioned.
They tried to linger, but Will started to yawn and go on about old man's bones, never mind only being in his early forties. Finn and Will fought over the bill and then burst out in mock outrage when Rachel told them it had already been put on her tab, as she came in to the diner after every show. True to point, their waitress brought her a small shake as they exited the booth; Finn took her up on the offer for one while Will declined.
Which is how they found themselves outside the hotel, Will saying good night to the both, not even bothering with subtlety when he handed Finn the extra key card. "Just be quiet when you come in, all right?"
Finn clasped his friend in a quick hug and said, "Thanks, man" and turned before he lost his courage.
"Where to?" Rachel asked expectantly. She held the shake in one hand, her flowers in the other; she smiled and he grew warm
"Anywhere is fine." Finn tried to beat back the creeping awkwardness and unsuccessfully at that. Rachel caught onto it and shifted her eyes from his.
"It's late, so we could…" she cleared her throat, "my apartment isn't far."
"All right," Finn replied quietly.
He found he still had an arm for cabs, or maybe it was his height working to their advantage because one stopped in front of them within a minute despite the late hour. He let Rachel climb in first and sat back in shock when she gave an address eerily similar to the one they used to share together.
"You're still in the same building?"
Rachel gave him a somewhat brittle smile, "Yeah. Um, I moved upstairs some time back. Remember the neighbors -"
"With the dogs and the heels and - "
"Possibly a whole bunch of clogs?"
He laughed softly. "Yeah."
"They moved and I thought it was a pretty good idea to be on the top floor, in case the next set of neighbors ended up being, I don't know, Irish River Dancers."
"Good call," Finn said, though inwardly he wondered at how close he'd been. By how many years, months, days had he missed her?
It kept him from saying anything else and he stared at the familiar streets and corners, buildings and shops. He made sure to bypass Rachel and pay the cab fare and then got out, staring up at their old apartment on the second floor. There was a dim light shining from the third floor window, Rachel's place. He'd been so close. So very close.
At the jangle of keys in Rachel's hand, Finn said, "Wait, I…"
Rachel gave him a look he could only interpret as fearful.
"I don't think I'm ready to go up there," he finished in a rush. "Not that I won't, just, not yet."
"O-okay," Rachel stuttered and waved uncertainly at the front steps. "Is this okay?"
"Yeah, I guess. Yeah."
He sat down heavily, elbows on his knees; Rachel was more graceful as she settled in and crossed her legs, but he gave credit to her training rather than any ease with their situation. Head bent, Finn ran his hands through his hair a couple times before saying, "I just, can I just… I know we have a lot to talk about and this might really piss you off, but I need…"
Without further warning and without permission, Finn turned his head and pressed his lips to Rachel's. He pushed one hand into her hair and felt her shiver just as she started to kiss him back, her lips soft to his, hesitant and timid for the first time in such a very long time. For a few seconds it was a gentle touch before Finn pressed in more deeply, his mouth opening slightly to share her warm breath. They held each other there until he felt something warm on his cheeks; when he finally pulled back, he realized he wasn't sure if the tears were his own or hers.
"I have missed you so much," he said, voice low and a little weak.
"I missed you, too." Rachel said shakily.
Finn didn't dare break their eye line. "How did we go so wrong?"
"So many reasons, I can't even begin," Rachel swallowed hard, "Finn, you need to know, I have never regretted anything in my life as what I did to you, driving you away like I did."
Shocked, Finn shook his head. "All this time I thought I'd abandoned you."
"No, you didn't or at least, it never crossed my mind that you had," Rachel replied and then shut her eyes. "Or maybe in the beginning, yes, I blamed you, but I couldn't lie to myself. I had just pushed and pushed and I was so angry at you even when you were still here."
Finn watched her face, as frustration and sadness played over it. She thought she'd driven him away? She'd been angry with him, too?
"You were so easy to please, Finn. You and me, here in New York, and it seemed like you didn't want to understand how I wanted more, needed more than that. I know it was selfish, but that's the way it was back then, I wanted you to want the same things I did, just like in Lima." Rachel pulled away from where he'd still held her head. "I couldn't understand how you could have so many things at your fingertips, like your acceptance to NYU or how you didn't really try for those auditions. You were so talented and you just dropped it."
"I didn't need those things, Rachel. I had you, that's all I wanted."
"And do you know how exhausting that was?"
They both went still, Rachel at her angry outburst and Finn at the truth in her statement. He hadn't known; his world had revolved around her. He thought she'd wanted that. Rachel must have seen it on his face and kept going.
"We loved each other, Finn, and it was incredibly special and, with a few more years under my belt, I know now that it's also pretty damn rare. But we hardly had a life outside each other for such a long time and it became so clear when all I could get were bit parts in the workshops or, if I was lucky, work as an understudy. I still had the same dreams, but didn't know how to reach them anymore. I'd lost all the focus I'd trained myself my entire life to have and then that idiot Blaise came into the picture-"
She stopped short with a snarl. It would have sounded adorable if Finn wasn't feeling so many waves of guilt. "I thought, 'here's my chance' and it just snowballed and we started fighting and it became such a giant mess. And I know you meant well, I do, but-"
"We needed to make those mistakes."
"Yeah, I suppose we did." Rachel placed her hand over his knee. "And I'll never be more sorry over the fact that we couldn't survive those mistakes."
"Rachel, what would have happened if I'd just told you that I didn't like Blaise? That it felt like he was changing you in all the wrong ways?"
"Finn, I knew you didn't like him, it was really obvious," she said with a sarcastic laugh, "but I probably wouldn't have listened about the part of how Blaise was influencing me. How much he was stripping away from me with my knowledge. It took me longer to see that and I think it was one of those things I had to end up seeing on my own."
"So we still would have broken up."
Rachel shrugged uncertainly. "We certainly could have communicated better."
"I still love you, Rachel."
She stared up at him for what seemed like several moments but couldn't have been more than a couple seconds. At last, in a sure voice that made his heart nearly burst, Rachel said, "Finn, I won't ever be able to love anyone as much as I still love you."
He held her face in his hands again. He kissed her again. Over and over, he kissed her, memorizing every brush over their lips, every one of her sighs. Finn committed each and every one to memory because even now he knew, the love they still had for each other could still not be enough. Rachel must have known because she kissed him back just as greedily, just as desperately.
It seemed a long while passed before they pulled back and it was only when they heard a wolf whistle from somewhere across the street.
"What are we going to do?" Rachel whispered once their audience had stumbled on.
Finn smiled sadly. "I have no idea."
"You're in Lima, I'm in New York, we both have our jobs, our friends, our lives-"
"I know, I know," Finn said softly. He pulled her in and held her close for several minutes, feeling her breathe against him, still cataloguing every touch and scent. Could he go on again without her?
Yes, he could survive without Rachel Berry. But it wasn't the best choice he could make and it wasn't the option he was willing to take anymore.
He eased back to look at her. "Rachel."
"I'll quit if I have to, I will," she said rapidly and tearfully, "I'll find something in Lima, we can do it. Just let me finish my run and then I'll quit, I promise-"
"Don't do that, okay?" He ran his fingers down one side of her face. "Your dream is to be here in New York and you belong on Broadway. I will spend the rest of my life working to help you keep that because, Rachel, you're not you without that stage. I've known that since I was sixteen and I still know it now."
"But-"
"I'll finish my contact with the Lima I.S.D this next year. That'll give Will time to find someone to replace me from the CIM or maybe I'll be able to convince Artie or Tina to take over, they're both pretty well trained for it."
"Finn."
"Rachel, I want to be with you. And I'll miss Lima, but it hasn't been home without you there. Nowhere will be home for me if you're not there."
She sniffled. "Really?"
"And I'll get hobbies, maybe run a marathon or, I don't know rescue puppies so you can get a break from me when you need to."
With a tearful laugh, Rachel asked, "Rescue puppies?"
"I'm surrounded by fifth and sixth grade girls sometimes, puppies are popular."
She laughed again and threw her arms around his neck. "Are you sure?"
"I realized tonight that I can live without you, Rachel. It just turns out that I don't want to, not anymore."
"One year?"
"One year."
"A whole year?"
"Rachel, we've been waiting for this since we were sixteen, I think we can handle one more."
She kissed him fiercely and then smiled so widely he had to laugh. "You know what, Finn? I think you're right."
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One year later, Finn proved he was.
For the hell of it, he brought a puppy with him.
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The End.
Author: Samantha samirant
Rating: PG
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Continued from Part 1
Standing in Will's driveway with an overnight bag in one hand and grocery bag in the other, Finn waited as his friend kissed his wife goodbye. Will took his time, placing his hands on her swollen belly and talking to it as if the kid inside were totally into a conversation; Finn gave them all an awkward wave when they looked over. He was anxious to get on the road, but probably just as eager to stay.
"Promise you'll be careful?" Emma asked Will when he finally turned his face back to hers.
"Of course."
"No speeding? No public rest stops? If it starts raining, you'll pull over until it's finished?"
"Absolutely." Will held his hand to her cheek and kissed her again. He said something under his breath that only Emma could hear and she gave Finn a quick look before nodding. "I'll call when we're halfway."
Emma grasped her fingers together, as if she physically needed to bind herself so Will could unlock the doors. Finn had already thrown his stuff inside and was clicking his seatbelt in when Will finally got behind the wheel. Putting the car into reverse, Will said, "Sorry we made you wait. It's hard for Emma, and for me. She wishes she could be coming, too."
But if she had, Finn wouldn't have a ticket; after all, it hadn't been meant for him in the first place. "How much longer does she have?"
"Just under a month. We went to the doctor's this morning to make sure everything was okay. He said it was safe enough for me to go out of town at least a couple of days. Her, too." Will put on his sunglasses to counteract the sun streaming in the windshield. "But you know Emma, one internet article on the likelihood of deep vein thrombosis in pregnant women sitting for a long time and she's passing on her ticket to you."
"What's deep vein thrombosis?"
"No idea."
They grinned at each other.
Will reached over and turned on the air conditioner. Within seconds, the sticky feeling the summer heat had left on him started to disappear and Finn eased back in his seat. He closed his eyes, waiting for the onslaught, just as the last few days had warned him was coming. Instead, Will just turned on the radio and started tapping along to the beat on the steering wheel.
Finn opened one eye and peeked over at his friend. Will continued to merely keep his gaze out the window, making the appropriate turns and yields that would lead them to the highway. At a red light, however, he glanced back and caught Finn staring at him in wonder. "What?"
"Nothing, I just…" Finn tried shrugging away the question. "Never mind."
"Last couple of days rough on you?"
Finn threw his head back. "You have no idea."
"I figured that might happen."
"You could have warned me."
"I did warn you."
"Yeah, in that ridiculously subtle way that you know goes over my head half the time."
"Finn, you've graduated from a top Ohio university and you teach for a living. You can't play the Dumb Jock card anymore."
"Yeah, I know."
Both men sighed, Will out of amusement and Finn with the uneasy recognition that maybe change was always going to happen, whether he liked it or not.
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Finn couldn't pinpoint the moment where things started to go wrong; he'd been so content in their life together that maybe, he would admit later, just maybe he'd purposefully turned a blind eye to Rachel's growing uneasiness. Maybe he wouldn't have jumped to the conclusion that it was only something wrong between them, but instead realized that it was an unforeseen challenge that was starting to tear her down. She was Rachel Berry, after all, he'd been certain for years that she was indestructible.
But that's when Blaise Beck showed up.
Stupidest name he'd ever heard, Finn had thought, at least until he knew the guy well enough to hate him simply for existing.
A lot of people, once they heard of Blaise, nodded understandingly, very Oh, dear, she was tempted away, I see… until Finn made it clear that Blaise was so effeminate, he made Kurt Hummel look butch. Years later, it would still make him seethe with anger that so many people automatically assumed Rachel had been unfaithful. It wasn't like that. If it had been, Finn hoped he would have stepped in sooner. Stepped in at all.
Rachel mentioned Blaise a couple times over the years with admiration in her voice, talking about a graduating upperclassman at Juilliard who'd trained on Broadway as a child; she was cutely jealous and star struck, particularly when at an end-of-term party, Blaise had approached her and praised her performance in a workshop. Finn had been happy for her, even though he was slightly skeptical of the guy in front of him, dressed head to toe in black with a bright red scarf and itty-bitty wire-rimmed glasses. It was almost summer, for heaven's sake. He amused himself with the thought that Kurt would have peed himself with envy.
The first big sign of change was Rachel's decision not to visit Lima that summer before junior year, instead working with Blaise on an independent production he was setting up in Central Park. Finn had been disappointed and more than a little confused when he paged through the script while she double-checked his suitcase. Usually Rachel's scripts were highlighted to the extreme with her parts; often she was a supporting character, or understudy to the lead.
Not one part of the script in his hands had been highlighted though. He'd looked twice.
It wasn't until he'd gotten back to Lima that he could call and ask what the unmarked script had meant; Rachel breezed over his questions and somewhere along the way he pieced together than Rachel wasn't in the show at all, but rather working as a stagehand. When he returned to New York after a two week visit at home, he hardly saw her for three days straight, she was so busy running Blaise's last minute errands. From the way she described everything, Rachel made her part seem vital, but Finn's first inklings of discomfort began to form when everything she talked about made her seem less vital and more ruled over by a man with a ridiculous name and worse wardrobe.
Their junior year started and somehow Blaise started to work into their daily lives. He brought around his own friends, some douchey artsy types that put their heads close together whenever Finn walked in the door, murmuring as if to show that he wasn't worthy to hear their conversation, even though they were in his own damn apartment.
Rachel beamed when Blaise called her Darling and just brought everyone drinks.
For weeks Finn tamped down on his own growing dread, especially when he asked Rachel just why Blaise was so important and she started in at top speed at all the connections he still had on Broadway, the people he'd promised to introduce her to upon graduation, the parts he was already dreaming up for her. The idea didn't seem as exciting as it would have been only the previous spring.
Rachel started practicing all the time, running scales over and over to technical perfection, but somehow to Finn's ears missing something important. She started to go for even more auditions, so many that their bedside table was often littered with discarded newspaper ads. Two months went by and no tablet paper showed up on his pillow; Finn surprised himself by feeling alarm instead of relief. Maybe it was Rachel's growing fervor as she checked her voicemail and slumped dejectedly at the results. Maybe it was the way Blaise and his pseudo-wise advice popped into their daily conversation, or the way Rachel had been taken aback when Finn hesitantly asked if Blaise needed to come around so often. The fight that followed would have made someone think that he'd denied her fathers a visit, let alone some douche bag that had somehow managed to make Finn's girlfriend into his personal lackey.
Honestly, Finn had never been more worried than the moment Rachel broke three days worth of a grade-A silent treatment by bursting into tears upon hearing her voicemail and happily announcing that Blaise had secured her the lead in his next project.
Finn never told her that the news sent him straight to the bathroom so he could throw up. He wished he had. Because that girl in the next room, clinging to the phone, ecstatically and desperately calling friends he didn't know, that wasn't his Rachel. Finn didn't know where she'd gone at all.
Things got worse, so much that he didn't know what to do. All Finn wanted was for things to go back the way they used to be, when Rachel was actually present with him in bed, in his life. So many times he'd wanted to turn to her, to remind her that she'd never needed someone else's validation, that she'd always been an incredible person, that he'd always known that she would succeed, even if they both had to pay their dues first.
He never said a word. Pride kept him back, as did his growing certainty that things between them were falling apart even as so many of her dreams appeared to be coming true. A deep fear formed, growing more certain with time that if Rachel was forced to decide, he may not be her first choice anymore.
Finally, it broke.
In mid-November, three weeks before the opening of the show, Finn decided to visit during rehearsals and had brought food from work as a peace-offering. It'd been two days since he and Rachel had spent any time together, if passing by in the bathroom could be counted. Naiveté couldn't be indulged anymore; he knew it wasn't Rachel's schedule that kept her busy, but instead a chasm had formed between them that he had no idea how to cross.
Finn heard the yelling before opening the door and knew instinctively that it was Blaise; he seemed the type to be a jerk when directing and Finn had taken deep breath before entering so as to not show his anger. It wouldn't help any to show anymore disapproval if he wanted to start patching things up.
But it didn't help at all either to see Rachel on stage, her head bowed to Blaise's tirade, nodding with short, jerky movements. His heart had clenched as he realized she was crying. Crying. Rachel, on the stage, her stage, was being shut down as if she were nothing. Finn had thought before then that she had started to seem a stranger, but in that moment he knew he had to do something about it.
Blaise didn't see him coming; it was a quick grab, turn, and then Finn's fist was in the air and Blaise had gone down with a squeal. And when Rachel went first to the man on the ground, Finn knew it was over.
It was over even before the apocalyptic fight they had that night in the apartment, before he stayed the last few weeks of the semester with some friends from school and they called it 'space', before they traveled separately home for the holidays.
Finn went back to New York two days before Rachel did, packed up his things and was back in Ohio before she'd returned to the city.
He never called and neither did she.
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"Finn?" The knock on the door was gentle, polite. He could only respond with a moan as he dropped his face on the toilet seat. Will took that as an invitation and eased open the bathroom door. He was holding both their suits and hung them in a closet provided by the hotel before coming nearer.
"Apparently," Finn said faintly as he reached up and flushed, "I have a nervous stomach."
Will folded his legs underneath himself and sat down with his back to the doorjamb. Finn closed his eyes rather than look at his long-time friend, hoping maybe he wouldn't feel quite so embarrassed. All the same, Will wasn't one to kick people when they were already down; it was one of the reasons he was the first to know what had happened in New York.
"I don't think I ever thanked you," Finn said from his crouched position. "For everything, getting things together so I could finish school, pulling strings, getting me off my ass…"
"You thanked me plenty of times."
"I was a mess, Will. I know it, you know it, and apparently so does everyone else." Finn thought back to the spring semester where he should have been finishing his junior year, but had instead secluded himself in Lima. To this day, he had no idea how many people Will had talked to in order to get him an interview for the Cleveland Institute of Music, but it had been the one thing that made him finally emerge after months of self-pity. "You got me into school, yeah, but you got me to actually work at being a part of my own life again. There's no way I can ever thank you enough for that."
"Well, how else am I supposed to get students interested in joining the glee club when they get to freshman year? I think I did myself a favor by getting someone to influence them during middle school," Will replied with a chuckle. When Finn opened his eyes and gave him a serious look, Will's laugh faded.
"Come on, Finn, what else could I do?" he asked with a sigh. "I saw my friend fading, I couldn't just let that happen without trying to help."
Finn squinted at him. "You're doing that teaching thing again. Why do I feel I'm supposed to be applying this to Rachel and me?"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make a point on who was wrong or right," Will said, holding up a hand. It made him feel like he was back in high school, where Will often had laid out the crumbs and Finn was left to find out his own answers based on the hints in front of him. Eleven years from then to now and it was just like old times. "But I have a feeling you'll give me a different answer these days as to why everything went wrong. So… why did it?"
Seven years before he'd placed the blame solely on Blaise, on the way he'd seduced Rachel with the idea of stardom, convinced her that only his opinion was important. Finn thought back on the accusations he'd made and wanted to shake some sense into his younger self.
"It was both our faults," he finally said slowly. It wasn't a new revelation, but still hurt to admit. "Rachel wanted things to be as she'd always dreamed and I… I just wanted things to stay exactly how they were because it was my dream."
Will nodded thoughtfully.
"And my dream hasn't changed, not really." Finn sat up and slumped back against the cold tub. "I never got over Rachel. I'm still not over her."
He waited for Will's response and was annoyed when he looked over and saw the unsurprised expression on his friend's face. "You could at least be a little shocked by that."
"I would be, if you didn't flinch every time her name came up or if you ever dated a girl for more than a few months at a time." Will gave him a wry grin that said no offense and Finn figured he couldn't be that annoyed by the plain truth.
"Do you think," Finn paused and cleared his throat, "do you think she's over me?"
With sympathetic eyes, Will said, "I honestly don't know. I was never as close to Rachel as I am to you. Nobody-"
Stopping short, Will seemed unable to find the words, but Finn knew what he was looking for. "Nobody but me. No one knew Rachel like I did and I left. I just left." A hard lump formed in his throat. "I abandoned her, Will."
"Don't paint it like that, you're not giving either of you any credit. You were causing each other more harm than good at that point. Yes, you left, but Rachel was always a strong person and it wouldn't have done her any favors for you to fix everything for her, to force her to see the path she'd let herself be guided into." Will shook his head when Finn nodded numbly. "No, listen to me, Finn. This thing with Rachel, her focus on being a star, wanting to be universally loved, personally, I think something like this was bound to happen. Until she learned to be more discerning, Rachel was always going to be an easy mark for predators like Blaise."
"Blaise Beck, what a stupid name," Finn muttered.
"Focus."
Finn sighed. "I know, sorry."
"Perhaps you could have responded differently, but Finn, you were both kids. I know at that age, people don't want to hear that, but you were. You'd been together since you were sixteen, where success came in big ways with trophies and you had a strong community around you, where I was just down the hall instead of in another state and Rachel had her fathers close by to keep her grounded. It's not weak to admit that you both made mistakes; it would be weak to not learn from what you experienced. You both did the best you could and it's not shameful that you both may have failed in your first attempt. Most everyone does."
Wiping at his eyes, Finn took a few minutes before he could respond. He wished he'd realized these things seven years before, learned the lessons without losing his idealism, or Rachel for that matter. He missed her in that moment as he had the day he returned to Lima with packed boxes and a broken heart. And he still loved her just as desperately.
"I think it'll kill me," he said hoarsely, "if it turns out she got over all of this years ago. If she's barely thought of me since then."
"And that may be the most ridiculous thing I've heard you say in a very long time, Finn Hudson."
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Stuart had looked on as a father and found his daughter captivating. Finn saw with the eyes of a man who had loved and lost Rachel Berry and when he looked at the figure on the stage, he felt pure joy. Joy to see her again, to see her succeed, to share her gift with the world. He realized, while watching her, why Will had called him ridiculous.
His friend hadn't been trying to tell him that Rachel had still thought of him, but instead that if what they'd once had was truly over, Finn was still going to be okay. He had strong friendships and a talent as a teacher, patiently guiding students to learn scales, read music and navigate performances as someone had once taught him. And when he looked at Rachel on the stage, he saw it was hers again, no one was beating her down with words or false power.
He was Finn and she was Rachel. They each belonged to themselves again.
There, sitting in a crowded room, surrounded on all sides, Finn felt like he was taking his first full breath in years.
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"You don't think it's too much?"
"Nah, she'll love it," Will said reassuringly, indicating the full bouquet of deep red roses Finn had run down the street to buy right after the show was over. It'd cost him an arm and a leg, but somehow he felt like he needed something to hold when they met with up with Rachel, maybe to keep himself from reaching out for her. Just because he finally felt like himself again didn't mean that impulse was gone.
The crowd was slowly dispersing and they'd taken up a small space several feet from the back exit, where Rachel had apparently told Will where she'd most likely be found. It'd been almost an hour, the most torturous he could ever remember. Finn jiggled each of his feet in turn. "I'm nervous."
"I'd tell you that you have no reason to be, but I'd be lying."
"I guess my only hope is that she's nervous, too."
"I was."
Finn turned on the spot at the familiar voice, what had stayed with him for years on end. Rachel stood before him, her face scrubbed clean, a little older and with a calm gleam in her eyes. Different, but still so much the same.
"I was, but now," it wasn't a gleam, there were actually tears in Rachel's eyes and they welled up further, "now I'm just really, really happy. Hi, Finn."
Without a word, Finn passed the roses back to Will and reached out for her anyway. Her hair brushed his cheek where they pressed together and her arms looped around his neck. His arms found their way to her waist and for several seconds they just held each other closely. Finn shut his eyes tight, trying to memorize every inch of that moment.
They slowly eased apart, but Finn softly touched his hands to her face.
"Me too," Finn murmured. "I'm really happy to see you."
Rachel put her hands over his before he could let go, but then shook her head slightly as if to clear it and brushed away the tears that had fallen. Looking over at Will, she asked, "Are those for me?"
"Nice to see you too, Rachel," Will said dryly from behind the flowers.
"Oh, come here," Rachel took the flowers and passed them to Finn to hold as she gave Will a tight hug. "I'm so glad you made it."
"You were phenomenal," Will told her earnestly. "I cannot tell you how proud I was to see you up there."
"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me." Rachel beamed at Will, but then turned her eyes to the roses and breathed them in deeply as Finn still held them. Raising her gaze to his, she quietly said, "Thank you."
"Here." Finn passed them to her arms and felt his chest constrict when their hands brushed against each other. So many years and she still did that to him. He wondered if she always would.
"Now if you'll excuse me," Will's voice startled them both, "I promised I'd call my wife as soon as we saw you, so here."
He passed the phone to Rachel and when the call connected, she moved a few steps away. Will moved in closer and gave Finn a searching look. In response, Finn gave him a sure nod and took a few deep, even breaths. After about five minutes of chatting, Rachel passed the phone back to Will; she stood in silence with Finn as the conversation ended. They stood side-by-side, hands in their pockets until Will turned back.
"Come on, let's go get a bite to eat."
Rachel guided them to a diner Finn had remembered from long before; it held a lot of good memories and he smiled at her as they slid into a booth. It was easier with Will there, talking about students and glee club, where their old classmates were and what they were up to. Finn filled Rachel in on Artie and Tina's long-time dance around one another, how he'd already secured the best man position though it had to be at least five years away.
She told them about her grueling rehearsals and the friends she spent time with during her few breaks; a couple names sounded familiar, but Finn allowed himself a little pleasure when Blaise nor his friends weren't mentioned.
They tried to linger, but Will started to yawn and go on about old man's bones, never mind only being in his early forties. Finn and Will fought over the bill and then burst out in mock outrage when Rachel told them it had already been put on her tab, as she came in to the diner after every show. True to point, their waitress brought her a small shake as they exited the booth; Finn took her up on the offer for one while Will declined.
Which is how they found themselves outside the hotel, Will saying good night to the both, not even bothering with subtlety when he handed Finn the extra key card. "Just be quiet when you come in, all right?"
Finn clasped his friend in a quick hug and said, "Thanks, man" and turned before he lost his courage.
"Where to?" Rachel asked expectantly. She held the shake in one hand, her flowers in the other; she smiled and he grew warm
"Anywhere is fine." Finn tried to beat back the creeping awkwardness and unsuccessfully at that. Rachel caught onto it and shifted her eyes from his.
"It's late, so we could…" she cleared her throat, "my apartment isn't far."
"All right," Finn replied quietly.
He found he still had an arm for cabs, or maybe it was his height working to their advantage because one stopped in front of them within a minute despite the late hour. He let Rachel climb in first and sat back in shock when she gave an address eerily similar to the one they used to share together.
"You're still in the same building?"
Rachel gave him a somewhat brittle smile, "Yeah. Um, I moved upstairs some time back. Remember the neighbors -"
"With the dogs and the heels and - "
"Possibly a whole bunch of clogs?"
He laughed softly. "Yeah."
"They moved and I thought it was a pretty good idea to be on the top floor, in case the next set of neighbors ended up being, I don't know, Irish River Dancers."
"Good call," Finn said, though inwardly he wondered at how close he'd been. By how many years, months, days had he missed her?
It kept him from saying anything else and he stared at the familiar streets and corners, buildings and shops. He made sure to bypass Rachel and pay the cab fare and then got out, staring up at their old apartment on the second floor. There was a dim light shining from the third floor window, Rachel's place. He'd been so close. So very close.
At the jangle of keys in Rachel's hand, Finn said, "Wait, I…"
Rachel gave him a look he could only interpret as fearful.
"I don't think I'm ready to go up there," he finished in a rush. "Not that I won't, just, not yet."
"O-okay," Rachel stuttered and waved uncertainly at the front steps. "Is this okay?"
"Yeah, I guess. Yeah."
He sat down heavily, elbows on his knees; Rachel was more graceful as she settled in and crossed her legs, but he gave credit to her training rather than any ease with their situation. Head bent, Finn ran his hands through his hair a couple times before saying, "I just, can I just… I know we have a lot to talk about and this might really piss you off, but I need…"
Without further warning and without permission, Finn turned his head and pressed his lips to Rachel's. He pushed one hand into her hair and felt her shiver just as she started to kiss him back, her lips soft to his, hesitant and timid for the first time in such a very long time. For a few seconds it was a gentle touch before Finn pressed in more deeply, his mouth opening slightly to share her warm breath. They held each other there until he felt something warm on his cheeks; when he finally pulled back, he realized he wasn't sure if the tears were his own or hers.
"I have missed you so much," he said, voice low and a little weak.
"I missed you, too." Rachel said shakily.
Finn didn't dare break their eye line. "How did we go so wrong?"
"So many reasons, I can't even begin," Rachel swallowed hard, "Finn, you need to know, I have never regretted anything in my life as what I did to you, driving you away like I did."
Shocked, Finn shook his head. "All this time I thought I'd abandoned you."
"No, you didn't or at least, it never crossed my mind that you had," Rachel replied and then shut her eyes. "Or maybe in the beginning, yes, I blamed you, but I couldn't lie to myself. I had just pushed and pushed and I was so angry at you even when you were still here."
Finn watched her face, as frustration and sadness played over it. She thought she'd driven him away? She'd been angry with him, too?
"You were so easy to please, Finn. You and me, here in New York, and it seemed like you didn't want to understand how I wanted more, needed more than that. I know it was selfish, but that's the way it was back then, I wanted you to want the same things I did, just like in Lima." Rachel pulled away from where he'd still held her head. "I couldn't understand how you could have so many things at your fingertips, like your acceptance to NYU or how you didn't really try for those auditions. You were so talented and you just dropped it."
"I didn't need those things, Rachel. I had you, that's all I wanted."
"And do you know how exhausting that was?"
They both went still, Rachel at her angry outburst and Finn at the truth in her statement. He hadn't known; his world had revolved around her. He thought she'd wanted that. Rachel must have seen it on his face and kept going.
"We loved each other, Finn, and it was incredibly special and, with a few more years under my belt, I know now that it's also pretty damn rare. But we hardly had a life outside each other for such a long time and it became so clear when all I could get were bit parts in the workshops or, if I was lucky, work as an understudy. I still had the same dreams, but didn't know how to reach them anymore. I'd lost all the focus I'd trained myself my entire life to have and then that idiot Blaise came into the picture-"
She stopped short with a snarl. It would have sounded adorable if Finn wasn't feeling so many waves of guilt. "I thought, 'here's my chance' and it just snowballed and we started fighting and it became such a giant mess. And I know you meant well, I do, but-"
"We needed to make those mistakes."
"Yeah, I suppose we did." Rachel placed her hand over his knee. "And I'll never be more sorry over the fact that we couldn't survive those mistakes."
"Rachel, what would have happened if I'd just told you that I didn't like Blaise? That it felt like he was changing you in all the wrong ways?"
"Finn, I knew you didn't like him, it was really obvious," she said with a sarcastic laugh, "but I probably wouldn't have listened about the part of how Blaise was influencing me. How much he was stripping away from me with my knowledge. It took me longer to see that and I think it was one of those things I had to end up seeing on my own."
"So we still would have broken up."
Rachel shrugged uncertainly. "We certainly could have communicated better."
"I still love you, Rachel."
She stared up at him for what seemed like several moments but couldn't have been more than a couple seconds. At last, in a sure voice that made his heart nearly burst, Rachel said, "Finn, I won't ever be able to love anyone as much as I still love you."
He held her face in his hands again. He kissed her again. Over and over, he kissed her, memorizing every brush over their lips, every one of her sighs. Finn committed each and every one to memory because even now he knew, the love they still had for each other could still not be enough. Rachel must have known because she kissed him back just as greedily, just as desperately.
It seemed a long while passed before they pulled back and it was only when they heard a wolf whistle from somewhere across the street.
"What are we going to do?" Rachel whispered once their audience had stumbled on.
Finn smiled sadly. "I have no idea."
"You're in Lima, I'm in New York, we both have our jobs, our friends, our lives-"
"I know, I know," Finn said softly. He pulled her in and held her close for several minutes, feeling her breathe against him, still cataloguing every touch and scent. Could he go on again without her?
Yes, he could survive without Rachel Berry. But it wasn't the best choice he could make and it wasn't the option he was willing to take anymore.
He eased back to look at her. "Rachel."
"I'll quit if I have to, I will," she said rapidly and tearfully, "I'll find something in Lima, we can do it. Just let me finish my run and then I'll quit, I promise-"
"Don't do that, okay?" He ran his fingers down one side of her face. "Your dream is to be here in New York and you belong on Broadway. I will spend the rest of my life working to help you keep that because, Rachel, you're not you without that stage. I've known that since I was sixteen and I still know it now."
"But-"
"I'll finish my contact with the Lima I.S.D this next year. That'll give Will time to find someone to replace me from the CIM or maybe I'll be able to convince Artie or Tina to take over, they're both pretty well trained for it."
"Finn."
"Rachel, I want to be with you. And I'll miss Lima, but it hasn't been home without you there. Nowhere will be home for me if you're not there."
She sniffled. "Really?"
"And I'll get hobbies, maybe run a marathon or, I don't know rescue puppies so you can get a break from me when you need to."
With a tearful laugh, Rachel asked, "Rescue puppies?"
"I'm surrounded by fifth and sixth grade girls sometimes, puppies are popular."
She laughed again and threw her arms around his neck. "Are you sure?"
"I realized tonight that I can live without you, Rachel. It just turns out that I don't want to, not anymore."
"One year?"
"One year."
"A whole year?"
"Rachel, we've been waiting for this since we were sixteen, I think we can handle one more."
She kissed him fiercely and then smiled so widely he had to laugh. "You know what, Finn? I think you're right."
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One year later, Finn proved he was.
For the hell of it, he brought a puppy with him.
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The End.