revising goals for 2008 and a rant
I've revised some of my dreams that I wrote down in 2007. The most important one is when I purchase land, it may be a smaller parcel (around 5 acres) near or adjacent to protected land like a park, preserve, or some other state owned land rather than 20-100+ acres. I'm really thinking weekend retreat but the cost of two mortgages just doesn't sit right so I am looking for land within 60 minutes of the city and it can be smaller but near the "wilderness." Then I can build and relocate and commute. Or at least that is my thought. I get all jumbled up inside when I try to think about the lifestyle I want and the things I want to do and whether I want to live outside the city or whether I want a big garden or whether I want to live "completely" green. How simple or primitive do I want to go? If I use modern technology to build my house, does that make it less environmentally friendly? Will the cost of the house (both money & impact) negate the savings? I have to have some technology and that requires power. Wind/Solar no problem but what about the cost to produce the equipment? Things are not simple. I read a friend's blog about their relocation and move and I love the adventures of stone circle sanctuary in California. A lot of people dream about an intentional community but when humans are involved all sorts of unintended consequences happen. I love my job, and it's an essential part of me and my purpose on this earth so I'm not retiring from the world and living as a buddhist monk or up in the back woods, living off the land. Part of me wants the independence that comes from getting off the grid and living a more sustainable lifestyle. Part of me wants to reduce my impact on the environment. I want a healthy sustainable lifestyle. I have a good life right now. The actions I take are well thought out and the best possible choice I can make at the moment. Unsatisfied. Not enough effort. Why do I want more? More. More! Isn't that all too human? Wanting what we don't have as if this perfect moment just isn't enough. Not satisified with this earthly existence? Never fear, the afterlife awaits you - an eternity of perfect, unaware bliss. It has to be unaware, don't you see? If you were aware of the bliss, you'd be unhappy and dis-satisfied and want MORE! I don't think God can satisfy anyone. Buddhahood is something to pursue not obtain. Because what is next after nirvana? What is next?