Guess what I did today?
This is one of those things that is going to sound stupid to everyone else but is actually a big achievement for me. Today, I sat in the same room as a wasp. Furthermore, I successfully rid the room of the wasp all by myself.
For those of you who have just tuned in, I'm terrified of wasps. Bees, too, but mostly wasps, because bees aren't out to get you and wasps don't give a shit. This fear leads me to do ridiculous, embarrassing things: like refuse to sit down in a restaurant until the waiter has got rid of the wasp by the window, twice, as per example in Stratford last week.
So today I was sat playing the piano ('playing' may be slightly optimistic. I was pressing keys on the piano.) and a wasp flies around my head. I do my usual trick of running out the room, and when I realise it hasn't followed me I pluck up the courage to close the living room door so it can't escape anywhere else into the house. I potter around doing stuff until the wasp has managed to find its way out the WIDE OPEN STREAMING SUNSHINE PATIO DOORS, except it doesn't. It instead goes to the (unopenable) window the other side of the room and stays there. After two hours of this I decide I need to be in the front room, so I sit very carefully, don't put my laptop on my knee so I can escape, and keep one eye on it. Brave, yes? Except then the sodding thing did move. And landed on a pillow next to me. I took a deep breath, picked the pillow up and put it outside, closing (and locking. You know, just in case) the door behind me. THIS IS THE BRAVEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE. Only, I waited for the wasp to fly off from the pillow so I could bring it back in, and it didn't. It just crawled round onto the underside of it. I can't find the courage to go out and pick the pillow up incase it's still there, and it's raining. In conclusion, we currently have a soaking wet pillow in the middle of our lawn. Sorry, Suze. But I was so brave!
Happy birthday tendre_posion!
For those of you who have just tuned in, I'm terrified of wasps. Bees, too, but mostly wasps, because bees aren't out to get you and wasps don't give a shit. This fear leads me to do ridiculous, embarrassing things: like refuse to sit down in a restaurant until the waiter has got rid of the wasp by the window, twice, as per example in Stratford last week.
So today I was sat playing the piano ('playing' may be slightly optimistic. I was pressing keys on the piano.) and a wasp flies around my head. I do my usual trick of running out the room, and when I realise it hasn't followed me I pluck up the courage to close the living room door so it can't escape anywhere else into the house. I potter around doing stuff until the wasp has managed to find its way out the WIDE OPEN STREAMING SUNSHINE PATIO DOORS, except it doesn't. It instead goes to the (unopenable) window the other side of the room and stays there. After two hours of this I decide I need to be in the front room, so I sit very carefully, don't put my laptop on my knee so I can escape, and keep one eye on it. Brave, yes? Except then the sodding thing did move. And landed on a pillow next to me. I took a deep breath, picked the pillow up and put it outside, closing (and locking. You know, just in case) the door behind me. THIS IS THE BRAVEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE. Only, I waited for the wasp to fly off from the pillow so I could bring it back in, and it didn't. It just crawled round onto the underside of it. I can't find the courage to go out and pick the pillow up incase it's still there, and it's raining. In conclusion, we currently have a soaking wet pillow in the middle of our lawn. Sorry, Suze. But I was so brave!
Happy birthday tendre_posion!