what the hell.
I dont understand why it is that i have to be subject to feel like a 2 year old. my parents just do not seem to understand that i am 19 and that i want to be able to do what other 19 year olds do. that and the fact that i am 19 and i do need to have some privacy. I come home from working all day and then seeing my wonderful boyfriend to see that someone was on my computer. now, there are 2 other computers in the house, and my mom and 11 year old brother are the only ones home, and the 11 year old would not go through my stuff, so even though my mom has her own laptop and computer downstairs, she still felt the need to come on to mine. i really do not understand why she has to touch it, this computer is for school purposes and my purposes only so there is no need for anyone besides me to use it.
I know that the 15 year old touches it, because on my AIM screen his s/n popped up and he has never touched my computer before thursday, i fucking hate how he thinks he has the god given right to touch my shit, he steals my cd's, movies...and now he is fucking touching my computer when its his fault that the desktop computer downstairs is broke! than everyone gets pissed when i go out and buy locks for my things. Unfortunatly with all the cd's i have a do not have any place to hide them so that my brother can not touch them with out him asking i am definitly going to have to password protect my laptop. I can not afford to fix the viruses he will no doubt put into my computer.
i also do not understand how my parents cant see that they way they act toward me completely tears me apart. i love my parents do not get me wrong, its just they think that no matter what they say to me they think that it shouldnt bother me. well it does. i know i am depressed, and i know that i am still having a VERY hard time getting over my grandmother passing away, they just do not seem to care. it really makes it hard for me to want to stay home, yet they still seem to get mad at me when i tell them that i want to move out.
i dont know maybe it is just me being selfish and ungrateful. or maybe its just my parents trying to make me feel even worse about myself. thus, adding to my already low self-esteem. to them nothing i do they are going to approve of, which is fine, i am going to have to do what makes me happy from now own, and making my life in the future the way I want it, not the way they want it....i have to work on not letting them get to me when they have looks of disaproval for no reason at all....
thankfully i do have joe to help me relax and makes me feel like i am a real person. and that i am old enough to make my own decisions. i am soo happy that joe is apart of my life. i am also happy that i have tried so hard to find ways to make my happiness for myself, i have a job, i have an amazing boyfriend, and even though my parents do not approve of my change in majors due to the fact that psychology pays a lot of money, i have my career that i can start in a few years as a teacher.
i really have to work hard at not worrying so much about how other people see my life, it is my life, and i am going to live it the way i want...
i am not doing anything wrong, as a matter of fact i am doing pretty damn good for myself, considering i pay my own car insurance, i have a job, and i am going to be going to school full time.
I know that the 15 year old touches it, because on my AIM screen his s/n popped up and he has never touched my computer before thursday, i fucking hate how he thinks he has the god given right to touch my shit, he steals my cd's, movies...and now he is fucking touching my computer when its his fault that the desktop computer downstairs is broke! than everyone gets pissed when i go out and buy locks for my things. Unfortunatly with all the cd's i have a do not have any place to hide them so that my brother can not touch them with out him asking i am definitly going to have to password protect my laptop. I can not afford to fix the viruses he will no doubt put into my computer.
i also do not understand how my parents cant see that they way they act toward me completely tears me apart. i love my parents do not get me wrong, its just they think that no matter what they say to me they think that it shouldnt bother me. well it does. i know i am depressed, and i know that i am still having a VERY hard time getting over my grandmother passing away, they just do not seem to care. it really makes it hard for me to want to stay home, yet they still seem to get mad at me when i tell them that i want to move out.
i dont know maybe it is just me being selfish and ungrateful. or maybe its just my parents trying to make me feel even worse about myself. thus, adding to my already low self-esteem. to them nothing i do they are going to approve of, which is fine, i am going to have to do what makes me happy from now own, and making my life in the future the way I want it, not the way they want it....i have to work on not letting them get to me when they have looks of disaproval for no reason at all....
thankfully i do have joe to help me relax and makes me feel like i am a real person. and that i am old enough to make my own decisions. i am soo happy that joe is apart of my life. i am also happy that i have tried so hard to find ways to make my happiness for myself, i have a job, i have an amazing boyfriend, and even though my parents do not approve of my change in majors due to the fact that psychology pays a lot of money, i have my career that i can start in a few years as a teacher.
i really have to work hard at not worrying so much about how other people see my life, it is my life, and i am going to live it the way i want...
i am not doing anything wrong, as a matter of fact i am doing pretty damn good for myself, considering i pay my own car insurance, i have a job, and i am going to be going to school full time.