i'm horrible
i dont no wut the hell i want. all i do is cry and lay down and sleep and think about gerry. i dont no wuts going on. i'm just saying straight out what happened cuz i need to vent. i broke up with him on friday..i dont no y...illision concert we hung out and it was kinda awkward i mean like he was being gay at first bringing up all old stuff and telling me he loves me and trying to like kiss me and stuff and the same thing last ntie only yesterday was different.
i felt so horrible and all and melissa was saying he called her telling her how he was upset and all but THEN he was saying "oh we dont get along blah blah blah" and that kind of upset me that he would say that and some other things i cant remember. but i just needed to see him thats all i ever wanna do lately and i went by funmania to see him talk to him for a little and give him his midtown ticket. i pulled in and saw melissa's car. what a whore lol. but ya i went in and saw him kinda just like standing there talking to mel and he saw me and mel left. i asked him how he was and all but he kind of blew me off, gave me a fake hug and pretended he was busy and i started crying and went to my car. sat in my car for actually 20 minutes and just cried, he came after me but i went to mike's to talk but talking to mike kinda just made me happy and i wasnt like crying anymore.
at the concert that night we were being all flirty and stuff...i mean like...he's my best friend and i told him that if i didnt have him in my life then there would be no point in life. i'm just not happy rite now, dont no what i want but all i do is cry because i miss him so i dont understand whats wrong with me at all. but ya i was happy we were all cool at the concert. just wen he held me and stuff i felt happy and RELIEVED.
today i was getting my hair cut and i was pulling out and he comes running to my car with this big smile on my face it was adorable. but i went over there for a while and we practiced drumline exercises and stuff and talked for a little ofcourse and i fell asleep on his bed and wen i woke up it was like it was all a dream and i was happy opening my eyes and seeing his face. i only slept for like 15 minutes and he told me he watched me. i just feel like such a bad person. im making him upset. im making myself upset. idk im jsut not ready for all this rite now but i lov ehim so much more than i've ever loved anybody and i do wann abe with him eventually and omg i'm going out of my mind i hope your reading this.
i pretty much came online just to talk to him but ofcourse he's not on. i hate this.
i felt so horrible and all and melissa was saying he called her telling her how he was upset and all but THEN he was saying "oh we dont get along blah blah blah" and that kind of upset me that he would say that and some other things i cant remember. but i just needed to see him thats all i ever wanna do lately and i went by funmania to see him talk to him for a little and give him his midtown ticket. i pulled in and saw melissa's car. what a whore lol. but ya i went in and saw him kinda just like standing there talking to mel and he saw me and mel left. i asked him how he was and all but he kind of blew me off, gave me a fake hug and pretended he was busy and i started crying and went to my car. sat in my car for actually 20 minutes and just cried, he came after me but i went to mike's to talk but talking to mike kinda just made me happy and i wasnt like crying anymore.
at the concert that night we were being all flirty and stuff...i mean like...he's my best friend and i told him that if i didnt have him in my life then there would be no point in life. i'm just not happy rite now, dont no what i want but all i do is cry because i miss him so i dont understand whats wrong with me at all. but ya i was happy we were all cool at the concert. just wen he held me and stuff i felt happy and RELIEVED.
today i was getting my hair cut and i was pulling out and he comes running to my car with this big smile on my face it was adorable. but i went over there for a while and we practiced drumline exercises and stuff and talked for a little ofcourse and i fell asleep on his bed and wen i woke up it was like it was all a dream and i was happy opening my eyes and seeing his face. i only slept for like 15 minutes and he told me he watched me. i just feel like such a bad person. im making him upset. im making myself upset. idk im jsut not ready for all this rite now but i lov ehim so much more than i've ever loved anybody and i do wann abe with him eventually and omg i'm going out of my mind i hope your reading this.
i pretty much came online just to talk to him but ofcourse he's not on. i hate this.