The Great Gilbert Beilschmidt Experiment!
We interrupt this program to bring you... a slight diversion!
So, recently, I came up with the idea to make a little "questionnaire" to compare and contrast my Gilbert with others'. Did I ever mention to you how screwed-up my Gilbert is? Now you get to see for yourself!
Here's how the rules go. Copy the questions below. In your reply, make the questions bold. Keeps everything nice and compartmentalized, just how I like it, but that's another story. And that's why I RP Germany. *shot* Then, respond (in-character, duh). You may comment on other's questionnaires in or out of character, but please make it clear which state you're in. XD That's totally not because I wanna see an interdimensional Gilbert clone fight. Nope. Some questions may seem kind of silly, but since everyone has their own unique way of responding, it's not redundant. Also, I've noticed that this is kind of tailored for Modern!Gil (at least, that's what I'm using to answer this), so it might be more convenient for you to use that era, too. If you're using a different one, let us know. (Hmm. Maybe I should do another one as Gil in his prime? XD) You may add your own OOC clarifications/comments in italics/brackets. You can also take this as any "format" you want, such as an interview or Gilbert actually writing down answers. ...I kinda flip-flopped between the two. X'D
With that said, let's begin! Please answer honestly. Your answers will be kept confidential. (By which I mean: None of that "MY AWESOME COVERS X BAD THING UP DURR HURR" unless it's true, because you could theoretically answer some variant of that for everything, and that wouldn't be very interesting. X'D)
(Watch this space for a while; new questions may be added for you to play with. If there are, make the addition a reply to your old one.)
Introduce yourself to us.
My name is Gilbert Beilschmidt, and depending on who you ask, I'm either 23, 309, or somewhere around 800 years old. Also, depending on who you ask, I'm Prussia or the eastern section of Germany or just plain Gilbert. I'm afraid I don't really know anymore. I want to say I'm Prussia, but...
Where do you live?
I live in Berlin with my brother, Ludwig, but I always call him West, because... well... he's always been to my west! Also, when he woke up from that weird coma, it was his first word, so I used to think that was his name till he remembered his name, and that he was the German Confederation. That's a different story, though.
Do you have any pets?
West has three dogs- Berlitz (big German Shephard), Aster (big Golden Retriever), and Blackie (...not-so-big Dachshund). I don't mind them and they don't mind me, but when they all start barking at once, the house sounds like hell.
As for me, though, there's a little yellow bird that stops by every once in a while. I call him Gilbird. I have a little birdcage set up for him down here and everything, but sometimes I let him go out, and he always comes back after a little while. It's great that he thinks my house is awesome enough to keep coming back to! He's so nice and soft, but sometimes I have to wash him up to get him that way. Oh well.
[Editor's note: I'm waffling over the pets issue in general, since all of them are conspicuously absent in my writing, especially Gilbird. I tried to justify that with the "he comes and goes" bit. Oh well.]
What is your favorite food?
I have to pick just one? You're kidding, right? Screw that, I have more than one favorite! Let's see... there's nothing like waking up in the morning to fresh, hot pancakes, and then drowning them in maple syrup (thanks a ton, Canada)! I mean, they're both pretty awesome by themselves, but something about combining them just makes them even more awesome!~ I like to take a huuuuuge stack of them, but I get kinda queasy around the 6th or 7th one and West calls me a glutton for it, so normally I only take 3 or 4. Or 5. And by "normally," I mean "when West is looking over my shoulder." When he's not home and I've made the pancakes myself, they're fair game! Kesese... And they're even better when West makes them.
Anything he makes just has that special something that makes it even better than anything I can make. So, yeah, add West's cakes and cookies and just about everything that leaves his oven to that list.
Then there's strawberry ice cream...~ I haven't accidentally dropped any on my computer in months, so West has nothing to yell at me about! And he also can't yell at me for eating it straight out of the carton, because that's the only way to do ice cream justice. It makes a great midnight snack and comfort food too!
Oh, yeah, and there's wurst, too. Good, old-fashioned wurst. Can't argue with that. Nope. And I nearly forgot BEER! How could I? That's almost a crime in itself! There is definitely not a small fridge with the stuff inside it hidden under my desk. Nope.
[Editor's note: That has to be the first time he's kesese'd in months. No joke. ;w; Also, I think the strawberry ice cream thing is sorta canon; in the April Fools' blog, look at the color of the ice cream splattered on his computer. Also also, WHY IS THIS THE LONGEST SECTION SO FAR?! *headdesk* This is what I get for being the only person (maybe there's, like, one other person, dunno...) whose Gilbert is a glutton. -_-; And a comfort eater, but we're working on that...]
What do you like to do/what are your hobbies?
I play around on my computer a lot. My Facebook, Twitter, blog, and Livejournal are constantly updated. If you complain that I'm spamming your homepage/friends page/whatever, I'm kicking you off my friends list! If you want to be friends with the awesome me, you have to be able to handle me! Hell, if Roderich can handle my status message spam, so can you! Yeah, he's on my friends list in a whole bunch of places. Got a problem with that? I don't think he checks any of them very often, though, because I've been spamming his Wall and just about all of his private message inboxes with reminders to have a cake ready for me next time I visit, and he hasn't even replied back to say that he got any of my messages.
Recently, I've started taking walks around the world when I get bored with sitting in my room. Sometimes I just walk around Berlin or Germany for a little while, but every once in a while I drop in on other nations and walk around their places, too. Feli and his brother that rotten tomato Romano always say hi to me when I stop by. I visit Roderich and Elizaveta when I want, too. Y'know, for all the trouble they give me, they never actually kick me out of their houses. I haven't even been panned by Eli recently. I guess they're happy to see me! There was a really long time where we didn't see each other at all, even after I moved in with West, so they must have missed me...
[Editor's note: That also has to be the first time in months that he's referred to himself as "the awesome me." PROGRESS! X'D Also, that second part calls for a little explanation: in my headcanon, nations can "warp" (to them, it's like walking, but everything moves reeeeaaallly fast till they get to their destination. Then they walk normally, of course) anywhere around their country, and they can warp to other nations' capitals if the other nation is in town. It's meant to explain how all those far-apart nations can get together so quickly. XD Though some obstacles can interfere with that ability. The Berlin Wall (and having his body weakened by Ivan- even after Ivan let him recover, he was still much weaker than in his Prussian days, somehow) actually extended to Gilbert's mobility too, so that's why he didn't just warp away from Ivan or run to Ludwig's house all the time. The Wall was intended to keep the GDR's people in, so naturally it would keep its nation in, too.]
What kind of music do you like?
I loooooove my metal. So much. Rammstein has no business not being on my iPod. Though I've got some of Alfred's metal/rock/alternative/what the hell ever on here, too. Some of his bands actually do this stuff right. Like those Metallica guys. Other than his metal/whatever, though, Alfred's music is an awful lot like a chemical castration in audio form. Where was I? Right. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't some classical-style stuff on here as well. Hey, it's what I grew up with. Kind of. I certainly don't have any of Roddy's piano arrangements on my iPod. Shut up.
[Editor's note: There are TOO many Metallica songs that fit him. I swear, I'm going to make a joke FST composed entirely of Metallica songs just to prove my point at some time. XD Until then, listen to Fade to Black on semi-infinite loop (especially the last 2 or so minutes if you're not going for moodiness. Manly angst, capped off by a manly guitar solo. UNF).]
What happens when you get drunk?
What kind of stupid question is this?! I hear I'm just the same as always, but more likely to walk around naked. I don't see what's so bad about that. Nudity is artistic! Francis will back me up on that. Though I hear I sometimes become a cuddly drunk, though. Like, snuggling-into-random-people cuddly. What the hell?
Do you have a job? What is it?
No, but I'm looking. I don't know what I'd do, though... I'd like to do something with my hands, maybe. I'll probably just end up helping West with whatever it is he does, even though I hate paperwork. It's tedious, boring bullshit, and I have no idea how West handles it. It'd be better than nothing, though.
Describe your bedroom. (Include where it is in the house.)
*sigh* I live in the house's basement. Don't get me wrong, I sure as hell didn't want to end up in the basement, but there weren't any other rooms available. If there were, I'm sure that West would've let me have my room upstairs. Anyway, it's... kind of drab down here. The ceiling is a weird tan color (it doesn't even have any interesting cracks in it), the walls are brown and they look kind of wooden (but they're not), and the carpet is also this weird tan-brown color (but hey, it's soft!). I've been wanting to at least put up posters or something, but I've been too lazy to do it, amongst other things...
If you look from the stairway to the basement, my bed's by the opposite wall. It's so much smaller than I'm used to, the bed in my dingy old house in East Germany excluded, but it's serviceable. I can spread out on it, but my fingertips kind of hang off the edge. On the other hand, the blankets are warm! They're Prussian blue for me and black and white for my old flag. There is definitely not a stash of cookies and chips and other snacks hidden under my bed. Nope. Yes, I get two, and they're great! West's bed doesn't have any fancy warm blankets on it for some reason, though, so I wonder... ah, that's a different story entirely. I also have two little panda dolls (thanks, China and HK! Thanks a lot! *mutter mutter*) on my bed, but they tend to jump off my bed when I'm sleeping if I'm not actually holding them.
Anyway, my desk and my computer are by the same wall that the entrance is, but a bit to the left if you're looking from the stairs. There's also a table and some chairs in the middle of the room. The table's got some of my stuff on on it, but I'm not really sure what it's doing here other than that. In the upper right corner (looking from the stairs- so it's the right corner of the same wall where my bed is by), by my closet (it's a walk-in closet! A small one that was turned into a closet from another room, but I digress), is a sword from my Prussian days. Ludwig found it for my birthday, and he said he had to jump through a lot of hoops to get it. I'm quite happy that he found it; I've got some pretty good memories with that thing...
Lastly, the bathroom is to the left of the entrance, the door being on the same side as the stairs. Yes, there are windows to let a little light in, but I never understood the point of basement windows anyway, since all you can see is the ground. ...Whew. Please don't make me write that much again.
What do you think of your room?
Like I said up there, it's... drab. I've stopped minding, really. It's nice and cosy down here. It's also a lot warmer than West's room for some reason. Sometimes, when I go up there to visit him in the middle of the night 'cause something freaked me out just to camp out till he gets home, I have to haul my blankets up. But that's beside the point. I'm alright with my room, I guess.
How are you feeling? (Physically)
Nnnn... I haven't been so well recently. Every once in a while, I feel kind of sick. It's hard to explain. I get really tired and slow, and I don't want to leave my bed or do anything. I've also been really hungry all the time for a while. Suddenly, I get nervous stomachaches, too. That never used to happen. I guess it's what I get instead of headaches, like West. Actually, I think I'm getting a bit better now, somehow. I haven't been sleepy and my stomach hasn't ached for a few days. Still got the munchies, though.
Have you been taking good care of yourself?
*another sigh* Not really. I mean, I take my showers and I pay attention to basic hygiene and all the silly little things, but I've been eating and sleeping a lot, and I haven't been as active as I should be, so... um. Yeah. I-I think I've lost my winter weight, though. Yeah. Mm-hm. Definitely. It's not like I packed on the pounds or anything, but I thought I was getting a belly for a moment there. And it sure as hell wasn't because I came dangerously close. Nope.
[Editor's note: ...Maybe he's lost his winter weight. Maybe. Maybe leaning towards yes. Probably. Let's just say yes, or 90% yes. It's a stupid thing to waffle over, but it's one of those things that depends on how much I feel like picking on him that day. X'D Winter was hard for him. The past few months in general have been, really.]
How are you feeling? (Mentally)
A bit better, actually. I was pretty much clinically depressed for the past several months, because I used to think that I had nothing... I don't know, I was fine for such a long time after I moved in with West, then one day I just looked at the basement and broke. There I was, mighty Prussia, with no country and living in his little brother's basement. And I started seeing all these things from my past, too. At first it was the nice things, like Old Fritz and my little brother when he was actually little (so cute!), but I realized I didn't have any of that glory and prestige anymore. I was so convinced that I had nothing that I tried to die. And you know what? I didn't! I didn't even have a scar when I was done! I woke up a few hours later, and I knew I had a country and a little brother to take care of. The "nothing" was gone.
I thought I was all better, but then the flashbacks started happening, and I'd be up at all hours of the night thinking Ivan was trying to hurt me again, trying to make me powerless. Oh, god, they were terrifying. Apparently, West could hear me shouting for someone not to touch me or hurt me all the way from upstairs. He decided to intervene in one of my episodes, and I was mortified that he saw me being weak. He was there for me the whole time, though, and he promised he'd never let me break like that ever again. He told me he didn't think I was weak, that I could come and talk to him any time I felt like I was losing it, and to take things one day at a time. Most importantly, he said that he only reason I was suffering was that I was letting myself suffer. At that moment, I realized that the only person that could break me or fix me was... well... me. I can't let the flashbacks or the fear or the voices that say I'm going to be a mess forever bring me down. I am going to conquer all of them, and West has my back every step of the way to cover me when I slip through the cracks.
Ah, hang on a moment, I need a tissue...
Who is your favorite person?
What kind of question is that? Old Fritz, of course! Who else? He led me to kick Austrian ass in the best way ever (an activity we could both agree on, for sure). He ran my country like the awesome dude he was, patching up this and that and modernizing me so I could kick even more ass. That time, without a doubt, was my prime, and he was right behind me, constantly making me more and more awesome. I've never been that close with any of my bosses since him... Bismarck is a special case for having balls of steel (remember the Ems Dispatch? Wow). And don't forget that Chancellor Merkel is one of my people too! ...That's totally beside the point, but whatever. And my brother has no reason to not be on my "favorite people" list. But Old Fritz is the top of the top, like always.
Who is your least favorite person?
*cough* Um. Do I have to answer this question? Fine. It has to be Ivan, then. I'll never forgive him for being the first one to make me feel powerless. He broke me, even if I didn't get the full impact till some time after everything was said and done. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be crippled by those flashbacks (it's gotten better recently, but the point still stands). What's weird, though, is that he's suddenly being really nice and apologetic and "I'll never hurt you like that again" to me. He refused to kill me when I asked him to, and he tried to help me back on my feet (not that I ever answer his calls). I don't care anymore. He might like me, but I'll never be able to like him back. ...Can I stop here? This is too depressing.
What is your favorite memory?
Oh, geez, that's a stupidly tough question. The clear winner is any time I stood on the battlefield with Old Fritz at my side, ready to dominate and destroy anything that got in my way. Back then, wars were fought the right way, up close and personal. Sure, we were getting our first guns, but they were clunky as hell, or at least I thought they were. I tried to avoid using them as much as possible (except when the enemy had a gun, because bringing a sword to a gunfight is just dumb), because... well, I was born with a sword in my hand. Even today, when it doesn't matter, it's still the weapon I'm best at using.
But other than that, I have some great memories with West when he was growing up, too. Everyone's gonna call me a huge softie for this, but I liked taking care of him. I worried about him when he was sick, and I was always there for him when he had nightmares. Just as he is for me now... I made sure he grew up strong and healthy, and clearly everything I did worked. I'm very proud of how he turned out, but sometimes I find myself missing the days when I could just pick him up and carry him around...
What is your least favorite memory?
Anything with Ivan in it or even remotely associated with him. Next question.
Do you think about your past often? If so, what parts, and what do you think of them?
I can't, or I get bummed out. If it's anything to do with Prussia, I lose it a little because I don't have those things anymore. If it's anything to do with you-know-who, I freak out. I've been working on that, though. Someday soon, I want to be able to reminisce without getting depressed...
What do you fear most?
Being rendered powerless or useless in any way. I was was?! oh, god, that feels like getting my balls cut off one of the most powerful nations around, and to be weakened or chained down so thoroughly that I couldn't resist anything Ivan did... even when he let me get my strength back up, he always had the last word. Calling it awful is an understatement. I never want to be completely at someone's mercy like that ever again. Not being able to fight back is a nightmare in itself.
For a time, I was worried that I was getting useless in the present time, too. West was doing so much to take care of me because I was in a really bad state mentally, and I started to worry that I'd be unable to take care of myself. The worst part had to be this dream I had. I turned into this big fat blob-thing that did nothing but sit in the basement, eat what West fed it, stare at the wall, and get fatter and fatter. *shudder* It was disgusting. Of course, the second I told West about it, he quickly assured me that I was not useless, so there you go. At one point I was even scared that, if I somehow got Prussia back, I wouldn't know what to do at all because I've been out of "work" for so long. As usual, West was there to call that bullshit. He's a good kid.
As if that baggage wasn't enough, now I'm worried about losing everything again. It's a different kind of "everything" now, though. I'm afraid that I'll lose all my progress and go back to being a gibbering, broken wreck in the basement, or something will happen to my little brother. That would be my new "losing everything."
Great, now I'm in a bad mood again. Thanks a lot.
Do you have any bad habits?
I tend to get hungry when I'm nervous or otherwise unhappy. So I eat. A lot. Though that's not always because something's bothering me; I just like to eat. And that means I'm a comfort eater and a glutton, apparently. That's embarrassing... If this stuff doesn't stay confidential, I'll hunt you down! I've gotten a bit of a sweet tooth, too. I think those might have started from my time with Ivan, since I had to gorge myself on what I could get before he changed his mind and pulled all the food out of my house, but the sweet tooth is a new development. I mean, I've always liked sweets a little (who doesn't?!), but I've never really had these kinds of cravings for them till now. Suddenly, they're just really good. They make me feel a bit better. Except for when they don't.
How about habits in general (other than the bad ones)?
I don't know if this counts as a habit, but I like to sneak upstairs and camp out in West's room when he's not in. It's kind of colder up there, so I haul my blankets up there, too, and I use my laptop up there instead of the basement. What can I say? I like being comfortable.
Has anything good happened to you recently?
I've been feeling a lot better in general lately. West takes good care of me (even when he complains), and I haven't had any flashbacks for a few days, either. I haven't even felt sad! I think I can safely say I'm on my way back up.
Has anything bad happened to you recently?
That dream. Just... that dream. Yuck.
What do you think of before you go to sleep?
I worry about getting flashbacks in the night, but I haven't been thinking about them as much lately. Mostly, I'm just trying to get comfortable. What? I like to sleep, too!
What do you dream of when you sleep?
I haven't had many dreams lately, thank God. Before now, it was all flashbacks of you-know-who... but there were some good memories mixed in. Every once in a while, I'd have a dream where I was taking care of little West again. In fact, I did have one of those dreams a day or two ago. Warm Fuzzies... But how come I don't dream of being on the battlefield ever? I guess I'll just have to wait for one of those dreams to come around on its own...
What do you think of Ludwig?
He's my little brother first and foremost, even if he's all grown up and big and healthy and responsible now. He's every bit of a neat freak as advertised, and his room is always perfect. Not a speck of dust or one thing out of alignment. You know, even when he was a kid, he'd get fussy if stuff didn't look perfectly even to him! Ah, he used to be kind of weak and sickly as a kid, but I took care of him the best I could. People used to ask if he was my son... If he was scared or not feeling well (not that he'd admit it- he was made of iron, even back then! I practically had to force him into admitting that he was sick and needed a nap!), he always came to me, and I'd stay with him as long as he needed me for (needed, not wanted. "No, West, you're not fine when you're burning up like that, and I'm not leaving till you go to sleep and I'm dead sure you won't wake up crying again!"). He wanted to be big and strong, just like his brother, so he always tried to be tough for me, even when I told him he was being ridiculous ("No, West, you are not joining me on the battlefield when you can barely stand up, and you're too young to be worrying about this kind of stuff anyway!"). I think I babied him a bit, but someone like him is impossible to spoil. He was so cute... (And in case you're wondering, I gave myself permission to share embarrassing stories from his childhood! Hah!)
But all that's over now, and he's the strong nation you see before you today. We get into fights once in a while. Sometimes it's about the mysterious disappearance of a carton of ice cream, other times it's about my inability to make my own pancakes (not true! I make them for myself a lot! They just have something special in them when West makes them!)... We don't really fight about anything huge anymore. In the beginning, we did clash a bit because I wasn't used to the rules he'd put on everything, and he hated the fact that I lazed around in the basement all day (back when I was okay with that and when that was all that actually happened), being irresponsible.
All that made way for more important issues, though, and he came through for me spectacularly. He's been by my side through all of it, Just like I was for him, supporting me through my breakdowns and helping me pick myself back up. I'm not sure where he got that ability to take care of other people from, but he does it well. He's more than just strong, and that makes him infinitely more useful than I'll ever be in this modern world. I wanted him to grow up into a strong, healthy nation that could fend for himself, and he exceeded my expectations. Far exceeded. He's a great kid, and I'm proud of him. Very, very proud...
Ah, shit, hang on, I need another tissue...!
What do you think of Ivan?
I've already said everything. Next question.
What do you think of Roderich?
He was the best. Punching bag. Ever. That aside, he's still a dweeby little thing, and it's just too funny to see him flip out whenever I barge in on him. I can't quite take his territory anymore not that that's stopped me from trying, but I've found the second best thing. Kind of. For all his sputtering and chewing me out, though, he never kicks me out of his house. What's up with that, huh? Like I said, I think he misses having me around (to yell at, be yelled at by, or otherwise). Must be lonely with only a piano to bang for company (HA!). He even lets me have some of his cake sometimes. Oh, and speaking of that piano, did you know he's got a Youtube account where he uploads videos of him playing all these different songs on the piano? I have a subscription to it watch them every once in a while, and sometimes I even comment on the videos. And I even started a running gag! In his newer videos, there's sometimes a random piece of cake sitting on a table in the corner of the screen. Just sitting there. Taunting me. Because I was spamming his comments with reminders to have something ready for me when I came over next. Y'know, one of these days, I'm going to go "visit" him while he's recording, and I'm going to take that cake from right under his nose, and he's going to HAVE to upload that video! Oh, that'll be so much fun...~
What do you think of Elisaveta?
She used to scare the shit out of me I'm not gonna deny that she was really tough back then. Roddy's got good taste in bodyguards, I'll tell you that much. Though it did piss me off that she was so militant about beating me senseless every time we crossed paths. I was pretty much on her "Pan On Sight" list for a long time (and I mean on SIGHT). Of course, I did fight back, you know. You think I'm just going to sit there and let her beat me up?! She's no woman; she's a monster! I'm mostly kidding. I'm not gonna deny that the fights were fun, too. Kicking both (hers and Roddy's) of their asses was a lot of fun. Even when I got kicked back.
Something did happen, though. During my time as the GDR *cough/gag*, she let my people escape to the safety of West's place through her country. I was quite thankful for that, you know. Fine, I'll say it, 'cause I'm sure Roddy already knows (and this is supposed to be CONFIDENTIAL, anyway!). I... might have hugged her once for it? Hey, I was just happy that my people were going to be safe. Don't go jumping to the wrong conclusions. I don't visit her as often because it tends to be just awkward instead of funny. She acts really polite and actually lets me inside, but after... I don't know, 10 minutes tops, she gets pushy and tells me to get out. But you know what? It's nearly impossible for me to rile her up, she doesn't pan me, and she doesn't just shove me out, either! I think she misses having me around (as a punching bag or otherwise), too. I know for sure she misses Roddy. She calls him... dunno, at least twice a week. Isn't that sweet? Yuck. ...?
[Editor's Note: Let it be said that I don't ship PruHun at all. I'm waffling over that part with the GDR up there. I ship Gilbert/himself. Or Gilbert/the basement. Or Gilbert/his reflection. Orrrr Gilbert/his hand. OR GILBERT/BRANDENBURG. HAH.]
What do you think of this questionnaire?
Too damn long and too many questions that set me off. Also, you're sure this is going to stay confidential, right? If even half of this stuff gets out, I'm going to become the world's laughingstock... so many embarassing things...
Any parting words?
I'm in a bad mood again. Thanks a lot! I guess being cranky's better than being depressed or crazy, though.
So, recently, I came up with the idea to make a little "questionnaire" to compare and contrast my Gilbert with others'. Did I ever mention to you how screwed-up my Gilbert is? Now you get to see for yourself!
Here's how the rules go. Copy the questions below. In your reply, make the questions bold. Keeps everything nice and compartmentalized, just how I like it, but that's another story. And that's why I RP Germany. *shot* Then, respond (in-character, duh). You may comment on other's questionnaires in or out of character, but please make it clear which state you're in. XD That's totally not because I wanna see an interdimensional Gilbert clone fight. Nope. Some questions may seem kind of silly, but since everyone has their own unique way of responding, it's not redundant. Also, I've noticed that this is kind of tailored for Modern!Gil (at least, that's what I'm using to answer this), so it might be more convenient for you to use that era, too. If you're using a different one, let us know. (Hmm. Maybe I should do another one as Gil in his prime? XD) You may add your own OOC clarifications/comments in italics/brackets. You can also take this as any "format" you want, such as an interview or Gilbert actually writing down answers. ...I kinda flip-flopped between the two. X'D
With that said, let's begin! Please answer honestly. Your answers will be kept confidential. (By which I mean: None of that "MY AWESOME COVERS X BAD THING UP DURR HURR" unless it's true, because you could theoretically answer some variant of that for everything, and that wouldn't be very interesting. X'D)
(Watch this space for a while; new questions may be added for you to play with. If there are, make the addition a reply to your old one.)
Introduce yourself to us.
My name is Gilbert Beilschmidt, and depending on who you ask, I'm either 23, 309, or somewhere around 800 years old. Also, depending on who you ask, I'm Prussia or the eastern section of Germany or just plain Gilbert. I'm afraid I don't really know anymore. I want to say I'm Prussia, but...
Where do you live?
I live in Berlin with my brother, Ludwig, but I always call him West, because... well... he's always been to my west! Also, when he woke up from that weird coma, it was his first word, so I used to think that was his name till he remembered his name, and that he was the German Confederation. That's a different story, though.
Do you have any pets?
West has three dogs- Berlitz (big German Shephard), Aster (big Golden Retriever), and Blackie (...not-so-big Dachshund). I don't mind them and they don't mind me, but when they all start barking at once, the house sounds like hell.
As for me, though, there's a little yellow bird that stops by every once in a while. I call him Gilbird. I have a little birdcage set up for him down here and everything, but sometimes I let him go out, and he always comes back after a little while. It's great that he thinks my house is awesome enough to keep coming back to! He's so nice and soft, but sometimes I have to wash him up to get him that way. Oh well.
[Editor's note: I'm waffling over the pets issue in general, since all of them are conspicuously absent in my writing, especially Gilbird. I tried to justify that with the "he comes and goes" bit. Oh well.]
What is your favorite food?
I have to pick just one? You're kidding, right? Screw that, I have more than one favorite! Let's see... there's nothing like waking up in the morning to fresh, hot pancakes, and then drowning them in maple syrup (thanks a ton, Canada)! I mean, they're both pretty awesome by themselves, but something about combining them just makes them even more awesome!~ I like to take a huuuuuge stack of them, but I get kinda queasy around the 6th or 7th one and West calls me a glutton for it, so normally I only take 3 or 4. Or 5. And by "normally," I mean "when West is looking over my shoulder." When he's not home and I've made the pancakes myself, they're fair game! Kesese... And they're even better when West makes them.
Anything he makes just has that special something that makes it even better than anything I can make. So, yeah, add West's cakes and cookies and just about everything that leaves his oven to that list.
Then there's strawberry ice cream...~ I haven't accidentally dropped any on my computer in months, so West has nothing to yell at me about! And he also can't yell at me for eating it straight out of the carton, because that's the only way to do ice cream justice. It makes a great midnight snack and comfort food too!
Oh, yeah, and there's wurst, too. Good, old-fashioned wurst. Can't argue with that. Nope. And I nearly forgot BEER! How could I? That's almost a crime in itself! There is definitely not a small fridge with the stuff inside it hidden under my desk. Nope.
[Editor's note: That has to be the first time he's kesese'd in months. No joke. ;w; Also, I think the strawberry ice cream thing is sorta canon; in the April Fools' blog, look at the color of the ice cream splattered on his computer. Also also, WHY IS THIS THE LONGEST SECTION SO FAR?! *headdesk* This is what I get for being the only person (maybe there's, like, one other person, dunno...) whose Gilbert is a glutton. -_-; And a comfort eater, but we're working on that...]
What do you like to do/what are your hobbies?
I play around on my computer a lot. My Facebook, Twitter, blog, and Livejournal are constantly updated. If you complain that I'm spamming your homepage/friends page/whatever, I'm kicking you off my friends list! If you want to be friends with the awesome me, you have to be able to handle me! Hell, if Roderich can handle my status message spam, so can you! Yeah, he's on my friends list in a whole bunch of places. Got a problem with that? I don't think he checks any of them very often, though, because I've been spamming his Wall and just about all of his private message inboxes with reminders to have a cake ready for me next time I visit, and he hasn't even replied back to say that he got any of my messages.
Recently, I've started taking walks around the world when I get bored with sitting in my room. Sometimes I just walk around Berlin or Germany for a little while, but every once in a while I drop in on other nations and walk around their places, too. Feli and his brother that rotten tomato Romano always say hi to me when I stop by. I visit Roderich and Elizaveta when I want, too. Y'know, for all the trouble they give me, they never actually kick me out of their houses. I haven't even been panned by Eli recently. I guess they're happy to see me! There was a really long time where we didn't see each other at all, even after I moved in with West, so they must have missed me...
[Editor's note: That also has to be the first time in months that he's referred to himself as "the awesome me." PROGRESS! X'D Also, that second part calls for a little explanation: in my headcanon, nations can "warp" (to them, it's like walking, but everything moves reeeeaaallly fast till they get to their destination. Then they walk normally, of course) anywhere around their country, and they can warp to other nations' capitals if the other nation is in town. It's meant to explain how all those far-apart nations can get together so quickly. XD Though some obstacles can interfere with that ability. The Berlin Wall (and having his body weakened by Ivan- even after Ivan let him recover, he was still much weaker than in his Prussian days, somehow) actually extended to Gilbert's mobility too, so that's why he didn't just warp away from Ivan or run to Ludwig's house all the time. The Wall was intended to keep the GDR's people in, so naturally it would keep its nation in, too.]
What kind of music do you like?
I loooooove my metal. So much. Rammstein has no business not being on my iPod. Though I've got some of Alfred's metal/rock/alternative/what the hell ever on here, too. Some of his bands actually do this stuff right. Like those Metallica guys. Other than his metal/whatever, though, Alfred's music is an awful lot like a chemical castration in audio form. Where was I? Right. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't some classical-style stuff on here as well. Hey, it's what I grew up with. Kind of. I certainly don't have any of Roddy's piano arrangements on my iPod. Shut up.
[Editor's note: There are TOO many Metallica songs that fit him. I swear, I'm going to make a joke FST composed entirely of Metallica songs just to prove my point at some time. XD Until then, listen to Fade to Black on semi-infinite loop (especially the last 2 or so minutes if you're not going for moodiness. Manly angst, capped off by a manly guitar solo. UNF).]
What happens when you get drunk?
What kind of stupid question is this?! I hear I'm just the same as always, but more likely to walk around naked. I don't see what's so bad about that. Nudity is artistic! Francis will back me up on that. Though I hear I sometimes become a cuddly drunk, though. Like, snuggling-into-random-people cuddly. What the hell?
Do you have a job? What is it?
No, but I'm looking. I don't know what I'd do, though... I'd like to do something with my hands, maybe. I'll probably just end up helping West with whatever it is he does, even though I hate paperwork. It's tedious, boring bullshit, and I have no idea how West handles it. It'd be better than nothing, though.
Describe your bedroom. (Include where it is in the house.)
*sigh* I live in the house's basement. Don't get me wrong, I sure as hell didn't want to end up in the basement, but there weren't any other rooms available. If there were, I'm sure that West would've let me have my room upstairs. Anyway, it's... kind of drab down here. The ceiling is a weird tan color (it doesn't even have any interesting cracks in it), the walls are brown and they look kind of wooden (but they're not), and the carpet is also this weird tan-brown color (but hey, it's soft!). I've been wanting to at least put up posters or something, but I've been too lazy to do it, amongst other things...
If you look from the stairway to the basement, my bed's by the opposite wall. It's so much smaller than I'm used to, the bed in my dingy old house in East Germany excluded, but it's serviceable. I can spread out on it, but my fingertips kind of hang off the edge. On the other hand, the blankets are warm! They're Prussian blue for me and black and white for my old flag. There is definitely not a stash of cookies and chips and other snacks hidden under my bed. Nope. Yes, I get two, and they're great! West's bed doesn't have any fancy warm blankets on it for some reason, though, so I wonder... ah, that's a different story entirely. I also have two little panda dolls (thanks, China and HK! Thanks a lot! *mutter mutter*) on my bed, but they tend to jump off my bed when I'm sleeping if I'm not actually holding them.
Anyway, my desk and my computer are by the same wall that the entrance is, but a bit to the left if you're looking from the stairs. There's also a table and some chairs in the middle of the room. The table's got some of my stuff on on it, but I'm not really sure what it's doing here other than that. In the upper right corner (looking from the stairs- so it's the right corner of the same wall where my bed is by), by my closet (it's a walk-in closet! A small one that was turned into a closet from another room, but I digress), is a sword from my Prussian days. Ludwig found it for my birthday, and he said he had to jump through a lot of hoops to get it. I'm quite happy that he found it; I've got some pretty good memories with that thing...
Lastly, the bathroom is to the left of the entrance, the door being on the same side as the stairs. Yes, there are windows to let a little light in, but I never understood the point of basement windows anyway, since all you can see is the ground. ...Whew. Please don't make me write that much again.
What do you think of your room?
Like I said up there, it's... drab. I've stopped minding, really. It's nice and cosy down here. It's also a lot warmer than West's room for some reason. Sometimes, when I go up there to visit him in the middle of the night 'cause something freaked me out just to camp out till he gets home, I have to haul my blankets up. But that's beside the point. I'm alright with my room, I guess.
How are you feeling? (Physically)
Nnnn... I haven't been so well recently. Every once in a while, I feel kind of sick. It's hard to explain. I get really tired and slow, and I don't want to leave my bed or do anything. I've also been really hungry all the time for a while. Suddenly, I get nervous stomachaches, too. That never used to happen. I guess it's what I get instead of headaches, like West. Actually, I think I'm getting a bit better now, somehow. I haven't been sleepy and my stomach hasn't ached for a few days. Still got the munchies, though.
Have you been taking good care of yourself?
*another sigh* Not really. I mean, I take my showers and I pay attention to basic hygiene and all the silly little things, but I've been eating and sleeping a lot, and I haven't been as active as I should be, so... um. Yeah. I-I think I've lost my winter weight, though. Yeah. Mm-hm. Definitely. It's not like I packed on the pounds or anything, but I thought I was getting a belly for a moment there. And it sure as hell wasn't because I came dangerously close. Nope.
[Editor's note: ...Maybe he's lost his winter weight. Maybe. Maybe leaning towards yes. Probably. Let's just say yes, or 90% yes. It's a stupid thing to waffle over, but it's one of those things that depends on how much I feel like picking on him that day. X'D Winter was hard for him. The past few months in general have been, really.]
How are you feeling? (Mentally)
A bit better, actually. I was pretty much clinically depressed for the past several months, because I used to think that I had nothing... I don't know, I was fine for such a long time after I moved in with West, then one day I just looked at the basement and broke. There I was, mighty Prussia, with no country and living in his little brother's basement. And I started seeing all these things from my past, too. At first it was the nice things, like Old Fritz and my little brother when he was actually little (so cute!), but I realized I didn't have any of that glory and prestige anymore. I was so convinced that I had nothing that I tried to die. And you know what? I didn't! I didn't even have a scar when I was done! I woke up a few hours later, and I knew I had a country and a little brother to take care of. The "nothing" was gone.
I thought I was all better, but then the flashbacks started happening, and I'd be up at all hours of the night thinking Ivan was trying to hurt me again, trying to make me powerless. Oh, god, they were terrifying. Apparently, West could hear me shouting for someone not to touch me or hurt me all the way from upstairs. He decided to intervene in one of my episodes, and I was mortified that he saw me being weak. He was there for me the whole time, though, and he promised he'd never let me break like that ever again. He told me he didn't think I was weak, that I could come and talk to him any time I felt like I was losing it, and to take things one day at a time. Most importantly, he said that he only reason I was suffering was that I was letting myself suffer. At that moment, I realized that the only person that could break me or fix me was... well... me. I can't let the flashbacks or the fear or the voices that say I'm going to be a mess forever bring me down. I am going to conquer all of them, and West has my back every step of the way to cover me when I slip through the cracks.
Ah, hang on a moment, I need a tissue...
Who is your favorite person?
What kind of question is that? Old Fritz, of course! Who else? He led me to kick Austrian ass in the best way ever (an activity we could both agree on, for sure). He ran my country like the awesome dude he was, patching up this and that and modernizing me so I could kick even more ass. That time, without a doubt, was my prime, and he was right behind me, constantly making me more and more awesome. I've never been that close with any of my bosses since him... Bismarck is a special case for having balls of steel (remember the Ems Dispatch? Wow). And don't forget that Chancellor Merkel is one of my people too! ...That's totally beside the point, but whatever. And my brother has no reason to not be on my "favorite people" list. But Old Fritz is the top of the top, like always.
Who is your least favorite person?
*cough* Um. Do I have to answer this question? Fine. It has to be Ivan, then. I'll never forgive him for being the first one to make me feel powerless. He broke me, even if I didn't get the full impact till some time after everything was said and done. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be crippled by those flashbacks (it's gotten better recently, but the point still stands). What's weird, though, is that he's suddenly being really nice and apologetic and "I'll never hurt you like that again" to me. He refused to kill me when I asked him to, and he tried to help me back on my feet (not that I ever answer his calls). I don't care anymore. He might like me, but I'll never be able to like him back. ...Can I stop here? This is too depressing.
What is your favorite memory?
Oh, geez, that's a stupidly tough question. The clear winner is any time I stood on the battlefield with Old Fritz at my side, ready to dominate and destroy anything that got in my way. Back then, wars were fought the right way, up close and personal. Sure, we were getting our first guns, but they were clunky as hell, or at least I thought they were. I tried to avoid using them as much as possible (except when the enemy had a gun, because bringing a sword to a gunfight is just dumb), because... well, I was born with a sword in my hand. Even today, when it doesn't matter, it's still the weapon I'm best at using.
But other than that, I have some great memories with West when he was growing up, too. Everyone's gonna call me a huge softie for this, but I liked taking care of him. I worried about him when he was sick, and I was always there for him when he had nightmares. Just as he is for me now... I made sure he grew up strong and healthy, and clearly everything I did worked. I'm very proud of how he turned out, but sometimes I find myself missing the days when I could just pick him up and carry him around...
What is your least favorite memory?
Anything with Ivan in it or even remotely associated with him. Next question.
Do you think about your past often? If so, what parts, and what do you think of them?
I can't, or I get bummed out. If it's anything to do with Prussia, I lose it a little because I don't have those things anymore. If it's anything to do with you-know-who, I freak out. I've been working on that, though. Someday soon, I want to be able to reminisce without getting depressed...
What do you fear most?
Being rendered powerless or useless in any way. I was was?! oh, god, that feels like getting my balls cut off one of the most powerful nations around, and to be weakened or chained down so thoroughly that I couldn't resist anything Ivan did... even when he let me get my strength back up, he always had the last word. Calling it awful is an understatement. I never want to be completely at someone's mercy like that ever again. Not being able to fight back is a nightmare in itself.
For a time, I was worried that I was getting useless in the present time, too. West was doing so much to take care of me because I was in a really bad state mentally, and I started to worry that I'd be unable to take care of myself. The worst part had to be this dream I had. I turned into this big fat blob-thing that did nothing but sit in the basement, eat what West fed it, stare at the wall, and get fatter and fatter. *shudder* It was disgusting. Of course, the second I told West about it, he quickly assured me that I was not useless, so there you go. At one point I was even scared that, if I somehow got Prussia back, I wouldn't know what to do at all because I've been out of "work" for so long. As usual, West was there to call that bullshit. He's a good kid.
As if that baggage wasn't enough, now I'm worried about losing everything again. It's a different kind of "everything" now, though. I'm afraid that I'll lose all my progress and go back to being a gibbering, broken wreck in the basement, or something will happen to my little brother. That would be my new "losing everything."
Great, now I'm in a bad mood again. Thanks a lot.
Do you have any bad habits?
I tend to get hungry when I'm nervous or otherwise unhappy. So I eat. A lot. Though that's not always because something's bothering me; I just like to eat. And that means I'm a comfort eater and a glutton, apparently. That's embarrassing... If this stuff doesn't stay confidential, I'll hunt you down! I've gotten a bit of a sweet tooth, too. I think those might have started from my time with Ivan, since I had to gorge myself on what I could get before he changed his mind and pulled all the food out of my house, but the sweet tooth is a new development. I mean, I've always liked sweets a little (who doesn't?!), but I've never really had these kinds of cravings for them till now. Suddenly, they're just really good. They make me feel a bit better. Except for when they don't.
How about habits in general (other than the bad ones)?
I don't know if this counts as a habit, but I like to sneak upstairs and camp out in West's room when he's not in. It's kind of colder up there, so I haul my blankets up there, too, and I use my laptop up there instead of the basement. What can I say? I like being comfortable.
Has anything good happened to you recently?
I've been feeling a lot better in general lately. West takes good care of me (even when he complains), and I haven't had any flashbacks for a few days, either. I haven't even felt sad! I think I can safely say I'm on my way back up.
Has anything bad happened to you recently?
That dream. Just... that dream. Yuck.
What do you think of before you go to sleep?
I worry about getting flashbacks in the night, but I haven't been thinking about them as much lately. Mostly, I'm just trying to get comfortable. What? I like to sleep, too!
What do you dream of when you sleep?
I haven't had many dreams lately, thank God. Before now, it was all flashbacks of you-know-who... but there were some good memories mixed in. Every once in a while, I'd have a dream where I was taking care of little West again. In fact, I did have one of those dreams a day or two ago. Warm Fuzzies... But how come I don't dream of being on the battlefield ever? I guess I'll just have to wait for one of those dreams to come around on its own...
What do you think of Ludwig?
He's my little brother first and foremost, even if he's all grown up and big and healthy and responsible now. He's every bit of a neat freak as advertised, and his room is always perfect. Not a speck of dust or one thing out of alignment. You know, even when he was a kid, he'd get fussy if stuff didn't look perfectly even to him! Ah, he used to be kind of weak and sickly as a kid, but I took care of him the best I could. People used to ask if he was my son... If he was scared or not feeling well (not that he'd admit it- he was made of iron, even back then! I practically had to force him into admitting that he was sick and needed a nap!), he always came to me, and I'd stay with him as long as he needed me for (needed, not wanted. "No, West, you're not fine when you're burning up like that, and I'm not leaving till you go to sleep and I'm dead sure you won't wake up crying again!"). He wanted to be big and strong, just like his brother, so he always tried to be tough for me, even when I told him he was being ridiculous ("No, West, you are not joining me on the battlefield when you can barely stand up, and you're too young to be worrying about this kind of stuff anyway!"). I think I babied him a bit, but someone like him is impossible to spoil. He was so cute... (And in case you're wondering, I gave myself permission to share embarrassing stories from his childhood! Hah!)
But all that's over now, and he's the strong nation you see before you today. We get into fights once in a while. Sometimes it's about the mysterious disappearance of a carton of ice cream, other times it's about my inability to make my own pancakes (not true! I make them for myself a lot! They just have something special in them when West makes them!)... We don't really fight about anything huge anymore. In the beginning, we did clash a bit because I wasn't used to the rules he'd put on everything, and he hated the fact that I lazed around in the basement all day (back when I was okay with that and when that was all that actually happened), being irresponsible.
All that made way for more important issues, though, and he came through for me spectacularly. He's been by my side through all of it, Just like I was for him, supporting me through my breakdowns and helping me pick myself back up. I'm not sure where he got that ability to take care of other people from, but he does it well. He's more than just strong, and that makes him infinitely more useful than I'll ever be in this modern world. I wanted him to grow up into a strong, healthy nation that could fend for himself, and he exceeded my expectations. Far exceeded. He's a great kid, and I'm proud of him. Very, very proud...
Ah, shit, hang on, I need another tissue...!
What do you think of Ivan?
I've already said everything. Next question.
What do you think of Roderich?
He was the best. Punching bag. Ever. That aside, he's still a dweeby little thing, and it's just too funny to see him flip out whenever I barge in on him. I can't quite take his territory anymore not that that's stopped me from trying, but I've found the second best thing. Kind of. For all his sputtering and chewing me out, though, he never kicks me out of his house. What's up with that, huh? Like I said, I think he misses having me around (to yell at, be yelled at by, or otherwise). Must be lonely with only a piano to bang for company (HA!). He even lets me have some of his cake sometimes. Oh, and speaking of that piano, did you know he's got a Youtube account where he uploads videos of him playing all these different songs on the piano? I have a subscription to it watch them every once in a while, and sometimes I even comment on the videos. And I even started a running gag! In his newer videos, there's sometimes a random piece of cake sitting on a table in the corner of the screen. Just sitting there. Taunting me. Because I was spamming his comments with reminders to have something ready for me when I came over next. Y'know, one of these days, I'm going to go "visit" him while he's recording, and I'm going to take that cake from right under his nose, and he's going to HAVE to upload that video! Oh, that'll be so much fun...~
What do you think of Elisaveta?
She used to scare the shit out of me I'm not gonna deny that she was really tough back then. Roddy's got good taste in bodyguards, I'll tell you that much. Though it did piss me off that she was so militant about beating me senseless every time we crossed paths. I was pretty much on her "Pan On Sight" list for a long time (and I mean on SIGHT). Of course, I did fight back, you know. You think I'm just going to sit there and let her beat me up?! She's no woman; she's a monster! I'm mostly kidding. I'm not gonna deny that the fights were fun, too. Kicking both (hers and Roddy's) of their asses was a lot of fun. Even when I got kicked back.
Something did happen, though. During my time as the GDR *cough/gag*, she let my people escape to the safety of West's place through her country. I was quite thankful for that, you know. Fine, I'll say it, 'cause I'm sure Roddy already knows (and this is supposed to be CONFIDENTIAL, anyway!). I... might have hugged her once for it? Hey, I was just happy that my people were going to be safe. Don't go jumping to the wrong conclusions. I don't visit her as often because it tends to be just awkward instead of funny. She acts really polite and actually lets me inside, but after... I don't know, 10 minutes tops, she gets pushy and tells me to get out. But you know what? It's nearly impossible for me to rile her up, she doesn't pan me, and she doesn't just shove me out, either! I think she misses having me around (as a punching bag or otherwise), too. I know for sure she misses Roddy. She calls him... dunno, at least twice a week. Isn't that sweet? Yuck. ...?
[Editor's Note: Let it be said that I don't ship PruHun at all. I'm waffling over that part with the GDR up there. I ship Gilbert/himself. Or Gilbert/the basement. Or Gilbert/his reflection. Orrrr Gilbert/his hand. OR GILBERT/BRANDENBURG. HAH.]
What do you think of this questionnaire?
Too damn long and too many questions that set me off. Also, you're sure this is going to stay confidential, right? If even half of this stuff gets out, I'm going to become the world's laughingstock... so many embarassing things...
Any parting words?
I'm in a bad mood again. Thanks a lot! I guess being cranky's better than being depressed or crazy, though.