A LITTLE ABOUT SAMMY!
Name: SAMUEL L. JACKSON!
Birthday: DECEMBER 21, 1948!
Birthplace: WASHINGTON D.C.!
Current Location: ON THE CAN!
Eye Color: BLACK!
Hair Color: BLACK!
Height: BLACK!
Right Handed or Left Handed: BOTH
Your Heritage: BLACK!
The Shoes You Wore Today: BLACK!
Your Weakness: WHEN MY TRIGGER FINGER CRAMPS!
Your Fears: WHEN MY TRIGGER FINGER CRAMPS!
Your Perfect Pizza: SNAKES ON THE MOTHERFUCKING PIZZA!
Goal You Would Like to Achieve This Year: MASTER HAITIAN VOODOO!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an Instant Messenger: MOTHERFUCKER!
Thoughts First Waking Up: DAMN, I HAVE BIG TEETH!
Your Best Physical Feature: MY GUNS!
Your Bedtime: WHEN I MOTHERFUCKING SAY SO!
Your Most Missed Memory: TELLING JOHN TRAVOLTA THAT HE HAS A FAT MOTHERFUCKING FACE!
Coke or Pepsi: I DRINK SULFURIC ACID!
MacDonalds or Burger King: KFC... AND IF ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT THAT, I'LL TORNADO KICK YOU WITH MY DICK!
Single or Group Dates: ONE AT A TIME, LADIES!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!
Chocolate or Vanilla: BLACK!
Cappuccino or Coffee: I LIKE MY COFFEE LIKE I LIKE MY WOMEN -- BLACK AND THICK!
Do You Smoke: NOT AS MUCH AS MY GUN! HAHAHA, BITCH!
Do You Swear: HELL MOTHERFUCKING YES!
Do You Sing: I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO CARRY A MOTHERFUCKING TUNE!
Do You Shower Daily: I HAVE TO GET THE BLOOD OFF SOMEHOW!
Have You Been in Love: ONCE, BUT SHE KEPT MAKING FUN OF MY GLASSES IN 187, SO I WAS FORCED TO HOBBLE HER MISERY-STYLE!
Do You Want to Go to College: I LEARN MY LESSONS IN THE REAL WORLD! NO RICH, WHITEBOY SCHOOL FOR ME!
Do You Want to Get Married: GOD HELP ME!
Do You Believe in Yourself: I BELIEVE, MOTHERFUCKERS! TESTIFY!
Do You Get Motion Sickness: HERE'S A SECRET -- SAMMY GETS THE SHITS WHEN HE'S ON A BOAT!
Do You Think You Are Attractive: I'M NOT NOT ATTRACTIVE!
Are You a Health Freak: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
Do You Get Along with Your Parents: I WAS BORN FROM THE FUSION LOCK DURING A NUCLEAR MISSLE TEST!
Do You Like Thunderstorms: WEATHER IS A REFLECTION OF MY EMOTIONAL STATE!
Do You Play an Instrument: I PLAY THE GUN IN STEVEN SEAGAL'S CHRISTIAN GRINDCORE BAND, HEDDSHOT!
In the Past Month Have You Drank Alcohol: WHO DESIGNED THIS, MEL GIBSON?!
In the Past Month Have You Smoked: I SAID NOT MORE THAN MY MOTHERFUCKING GUN, MOTHERFUCKER! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SCREAM IT?
In the Past Month Have You Been on Drugs: WHY? BECAUSE I'M BLACK? JUST BECAUSE I'M BLACK DOESN'T MEAN I SMOKE CRACK ROCKS OFF OF HOOKERS ASSES, HORRIBLY SCARING THEIR SUPPLE ASSCHEEKS, LEAVING ME TO SETTLE OUT OF COURT BY PAYING THE HOSPITAL BILL!
In the Past Month Have You Gone on a Date: I'VE KILLED SOMEONE WHILE EATING DINNER, DOES THAT COUNT?!
In the Past Month Have You Been to a Mall: IF BY "MALL" YOU MEAN "OFF-SHORE HORSERACE BETTING AIR-CRAFT CARRIER" THAN YES!
In the Past Month Have You Eaten a Box of Oreos: I ENJOY MANY BIRACIAL FOODS!
In the Past Month Have You Eaten Sushi: WELL, THERE WAS THIS ONE NIGHT WHEN ME AND JOHN CUSACK'S SISTER AND ME WERE DRUNK AND I WAS FEELING FRISKY SO WE... OH WAIT, "SUSHI"! ISN'T THAT FISH? NEVER-MOTHERFUCKING-MIND!
In the Past Month Have You Been on Stage: I'VE BEEN LOCKED IN STAGE 2 OF MY 5 STAGE CYCLE OF ANGER AND VIOLENCE!
In the Past Month Have You Been Dumped: I'VE DUMPED SEVERAL BODIES IN THE LAST MONTH!
In the Past Month Have You Gone Skinny Dipping: I TEND TO ONLY WEAR CLOTHES WHEN I'M IN WATER!
In the Past Month Have You Stolen Anything: BESIDES INNOCENT LIVES? NO!
Ever Been Drunk: THE QUESTION SHOULD BE "EVER NOT BEEN DRUNK!" GET IT, MOTHERFUCKERS?!
Ever Been Called a Tease: YES, BUT THE GUY WHO SAID IT EATS WITH A CRAZY STRAW NOW (WELL, HE DID UNTIL I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THAT TOO)!
Ever Been Beaten Up: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT'S MOTHERFUCKING HILARIOUS!
Ever Shoplifted: I STOLE A PARROT ONCE AND TRADED IT FOR MY FIRST GUN!
How Do You Want to Die: THE SAME WAY I WAS BORN!
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up: SHAFT!
What Country Would You Most Like to Visit: NUBIA! YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS! GET ME SOME HOT NUBIAN PRINCESS ASS!
NOW YOU KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY, MOTHERFUCKERS!
-SLJ