a longwinded affidavit of my insanity
my story submission to Miranda magazina(online crap magazine) got turned down. So i say, it's all fine with me. You just cannot see how much talent i contain. You say my story doesn't jive with your next 'issue' but you don't use words like 'jive' because you have to be official and business-like. You pass up an author like me and when we're all dead and my stories are the only thing remembered of either me or your internet 'zine, people will wonder what the hell you must have been thinking or taking to ever have turned down anything that was written by me. It's up to you to choose me, and you chose against. I just want to see my name in print, on someone else's dollar. I should have read the other stories you chose in the past before i bothered sending in my work. All lonely housewives sitting in dark corners between chores, writing fantasy worlds that they would live in if they weren't stuck in the boring ruts they created for themselves. It's not that the writing is bad, it just lacks anything special.
Someone down the line will see my creative prowess and accept me into their literary circle, and then everything will change. I've rewritten the first chapter of my novel 3 times now. Each time it's different, and i don't think that my latest attempt is going to lead me in the same direction as the first. so maybe they are just two separate stories. we shall see, but there's not much time for writing.
when i'm not working, i'm too busy soaking up my free time by staring at the wall and thinking of all the things i'd like to do, if only i had more time. i'm beginning to think that all the words and ideas jumbled up in my head are going to get so overcrowded that one day, probably sooner than later, they are all going to explode out onto the paper or computer screen, whichever's closer, and then i will have written something so powerfully provocative and genuine that no one will be able to turn me away. but that day has not yet come, and all my thoughts are still trapped inside. and only one or two leak out intermittenly.
i'm going to be delivering pizzas tonight, for a place down the street. i realized, after i agreed to take the hours, that i have no clue what any of the street names are here. I've been living on the same street for 18 years and i don't know street names, so thanks to kim for loaning me her street map. she saved my life, and saved the hungry masses from going without their pizza. so long as my car opts to not breakdown in the middle of a delivery. i'll doll myself up in hopes that i'll be delivering to someone who will double my tip because i'm so irresitably charming. we shall see.
tomorrow night i'll be working for my mother and stepfather, serving the upperclass with miniscule portions of rich gourmet foods on flatware that costs more than my car. but its good money, about $20 an hour. too bad its only once a week at best.
so that brings my grand total of jobs up to 3, with one in reserve. three jobs, and yet i still have no cash. i really need to improve my money habits if i'm ever going to attempt life on my own, especially if its going to be 3000 miles from my family.
i think i really need to attack my story right this minute. i feel like i could write until my body gives out from utter exhaustion. but i won't make it that long because i have to report for delivery duty in 0300 hours. and i'll probably just crack open Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, because i finally got my hands on a copy and it is immensely well done and i love ever word the way i love people. hunter thompson is my inspiration and my muse and my idol all in one.
speaking of military time, daniel garrison, my love from michigan, is currently in boot camp in fort jackson. i mailed him a letter on monday, so he probably got it yesterday. i can't wait for a response. :) i love letters. (not love-letters..just letters..well i suppose i'd love love-letters too if i ever got any. haha)
until i have a spare moment to update once more, i remain
your wacky writing friend,
sammy
Someone down the line will see my creative prowess and accept me into their literary circle, and then everything will change. I've rewritten the first chapter of my novel 3 times now. Each time it's different, and i don't think that my latest attempt is going to lead me in the same direction as the first. so maybe they are just two separate stories. we shall see, but there's not much time for writing.
when i'm not working, i'm too busy soaking up my free time by staring at the wall and thinking of all the things i'd like to do, if only i had more time. i'm beginning to think that all the words and ideas jumbled up in my head are going to get so overcrowded that one day, probably sooner than later, they are all going to explode out onto the paper or computer screen, whichever's closer, and then i will have written something so powerfully provocative and genuine that no one will be able to turn me away. but that day has not yet come, and all my thoughts are still trapped inside. and only one or two leak out intermittenly.
i'm going to be delivering pizzas tonight, for a place down the street. i realized, after i agreed to take the hours, that i have no clue what any of the street names are here. I've been living on the same street for 18 years and i don't know street names, so thanks to kim for loaning me her street map. she saved my life, and saved the hungry masses from going without their pizza. so long as my car opts to not breakdown in the middle of a delivery. i'll doll myself up in hopes that i'll be delivering to someone who will double my tip because i'm so irresitably charming. we shall see.
tomorrow night i'll be working for my mother and stepfather, serving the upperclass with miniscule portions of rich gourmet foods on flatware that costs more than my car. but its good money, about $20 an hour. too bad its only once a week at best.
so that brings my grand total of jobs up to 3, with one in reserve. three jobs, and yet i still have no cash. i really need to improve my money habits if i'm ever going to attempt life on my own, especially if its going to be 3000 miles from my family.
i think i really need to attack my story right this minute. i feel like i could write until my body gives out from utter exhaustion. but i won't make it that long because i have to report for delivery duty in 0300 hours. and i'll probably just crack open Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, because i finally got my hands on a copy and it is immensely well done and i love ever word the way i love people. hunter thompson is my inspiration and my muse and my idol all in one.
speaking of military time, daniel garrison, my love from michigan, is currently in boot camp in fort jackson. i mailed him a letter on monday, so he probably got it yesterday. i can't wait for a response. :) i love letters. (not love-letters..just letters..well i suppose i'd love love-letters too if i ever got any. haha)
until i have a spare moment to update once more, i remain
your wacky writing friend,
sammy