(no subject)
I don't think I was fully okay until now. I'm not sure if it was a chemical imbalance or a hormonal imbalance from my birth control, but something definitely felt wrong. My head was not functioning properly. I had this stick up my ass for a while, but now it seems like that is going away. I almost feel like a different person, but what I've come to realize is this is actually the me that's been around for a while. Something just happened that made me not act like me. Maybe it was because of the relationship, I definitely think it played a large role. I had never been hurt like that before and I guess it just took awhile to really be ok. It took a lot of introspection to come to terms that something was wrong and to get over it.
I feel my friendship is worthwhile, and if others seem to think differently then I cannot help that. What I do know is that when people go out of their way for me, then I will do the same. I think that making the effort really makes the difference.
The other day my guy friend made this comment: "You guys just don't know how to pick guys." That made me really angry. After taking into account the guys that only want to hook up, are gay, are in a relationship, are bad in bed, or are stupid, that doesn't leave a very large pool of males to choose from. I work with what I got. If we could control everything then things would be very different, wouldn't they? I can't help it that my interactions with the opposite sex has been with people I am not compatible with. And yet, most of the time it is not I who does the choosing but them who makes the move. So fuck that. I don't like to settle when it comes to anything, so I'm not about to settle when it comes to this....even if I have to wait until I'm 80. I'll just be a dog lady.
I feel my friendship is worthwhile, and if others seem to think differently then I cannot help that. What I do know is that when people go out of their way for me, then I will do the same. I think that making the effort really makes the difference.
The other day my guy friend made this comment: "You guys just don't know how to pick guys." That made me really angry. After taking into account the guys that only want to hook up, are gay, are in a relationship, are bad in bed, or are stupid, that doesn't leave a very large pool of males to choose from. I work with what I got. If we could control everything then things would be very different, wouldn't they? I can't help it that my interactions with the opposite sex has been with people I am not compatible with. And yet, most of the time it is not I who does the choosing but them who makes the move. So fuck that. I don't like to settle when it comes to anything, so I'm not about to settle when it comes to this....even if I have to wait until I'm 80. I'll just be a dog lady.