(no subject)
There is a problem with this journal. Mostly it's because a good portion of the time it's a white canvas demanding something insightful, educational, or at least mildly profound but like a miracle if it happens too often the magic is lost. So, I am left trying to fill the white vastness with words of weight that carry some kind of semblance of meaning. I am trying to reach you but I am reaching myself? There seems to be some kind of shallow vanity in writing to please those that are reading. I am not creating for my own well being. I am creating to fulfill the needs of an audience and like any artist this is a trap that is frightening. To be genuinely proud of your work you must know that the effort you put forth is wholesome, pure, like water gathered from the source. There comes a point where an actor, poet, or musician, must step back and wonder if what they are doing is compromising their integrity too much. The phrase "sellout" is tossed about and it kills the magic instantly. We're bound to contractual obligations to make our music or art in any form work. Most of us are not fortunate enough to have the unlimited resources to put out our work on our own. Someday, it's a dream, to do that. Until that day, we have certain criteria that we need to meet. While the "meat" of our finished product is genuine there have always been compromises along the way that were dictated by what our agents or labels felt we needed to do to make it or us more marketable.
Jump back again. Is there something we're trying to fulfill on our Tumblr's, Twitter's, Myspace's, Facebook's, or Livejournal's, in the same way that we are doing with our work? Is it all one in the same? Is it wrong to profess on your Myspace your feelings if they are not linear with your persona? Does this constitute vanity and if it is vanity, does that make it pure or fake due to the fact we're wearing masks as performers? It seems to me, that if we're to ever hold true to ourselves, the best thing to do is to keep out of the spotlight as much as possible. There seems to be no distinction after time between art and the artist. Somewhere in here you may start making references to "The Metamorphosis", but for now, I want you to think about yourself around your inner circle of friends and then again when you are presented with an audience that is larger than the 5 people that know you the best.
Return to the white space. It would be insanely reasonable for me to use this space as a place to say, come to our shows in May, make sure you check us out on the Projekt Revolution tour, but that would be linear with my persona and take away from the uniqueness of this space. I suppose I could speak about my personal life, how I have been fairing romantically for the past 2 months but then that seems to take away from the magic that belongs to only me since everything else seems to be up for public consumption. Instead I am left with a bland middle that touches neither part of my life. It's not as form letter as a press release and it's not as gut wrenching as the fiercely scribbled love letter, crumpled about in my fist and tossed into a wastebasket in Montgomery, Alabama. Instead, I feel as I do most days, somewhere between myself and what is expected of me. Before you go saying, "but Sam we're your friends, you can say whatever you want here," think of the validity of that statement. I know better.
Yes there is something certainly wrong with this journal and I am afraid that it's me.
Jump back again. Is there something we're trying to fulfill on our Tumblr's, Twitter's, Myspace's, Facebook's, or Livejournal's, in the same way that we are doing with our work? Is it all one in the same? Is it wrong to profess on your Myspace your feelings if they are not linear with your persona? Does this constitute vanity and if it is vanity, does that make it pure or fake due to the fact we're wearing masks as performers? It seems to me, that if we're to ever hold true to ourselves, the best thing to do is to keep out of the spotlight as much as possible. There seems to be no distinction after time between art and the artist. Somewhere in here you may start making references to "The Metamorphosis", but for now, I want you to think about yourself around your inner circle of friends and then again when you are presented with an audience that is larger than the 5 people that know you the best.
Return to the white space. It would be insanely reasonable for me to use this space as a place to say, come to our shows in May, make sure you check us out on the Projekt Revolution tour, but that would be linear with my persona and take away from the uniqueness of this space. I suppose I could speak about my personal life, how I have been fairing romantically for the past 2 months but then that seems to take away from the magic that belongs to only me since everything else seems to be up for public consumption. Instead I am left with a bland middle that touches neither part of my life. It's not as form letter as a press release and it's not as gut wrenching as the fiercely scribbled love letter, crumpled about in my fist and tossed into a wastebasket in Montgomery, Alabama. Instead, I feel as I do most days, somewhere between myself and what is expected of me. Before you go saying, "but Sam we're your friends, you can say whatever you want here," think of the validity of that statement. I know better.
Yes there is something certainly wrong with this journal and I am afraid that it's me.