Turtle Wedding
Don't mind me, just a crack fic I wrote for gleeverse.
CHALLENGE 10 - JAR OF HEARTS
Title: Turtle Wedding
Author: samelthecamel
Rating: G
Pairing: Puck/Sam, Sam/Turtles, Puck/Burritos
Summary: Puck is late to his wedding.
Warnings: Complete Crack.
Wordcount: 1020
Puck's truck was not starting; this was not good. He was meant to be on his way to his wedding. It was going to be a very special wedding. A turtle wedding.
Puck was marrying Sam of course, and Sam had an obsession with turtles. So somehow the wedding ended up being turtle themed. Sam had even organised for the wedding cars to look like turtles. None of that was going to matter if he couldn’t get his truck to start.
Sitting here in this empty lot in the middle of know where, he knew Sam was going to be upset if he wasn’t there. This was meant to be the big special day.
Puck pulled out his phone and called the one person he could really count on, Finn. Finn had been his best friend since he could remember. Only thing was Finn didn’t answer. You’d think logically Puck would ring the next person he could think of in his phone, but no. Pissed off that Finn didn’t answer he started walking. Even though he had no clue where he was, he took off down the road hoping that someone would come along eventually and give him a lift.
He walked for miles and miles, but no one ever drove past on the road. Eventually in the distance he spotted a Mexican Restaurant. Walking so far had given Puck an appetite. He was determined to get to this turtle wedding of his, but he was pretty sure he had time. There is always time to stop for a burrito!
Walking into the restaurant he realised he had left behind is clothes. It was hot out, and had subconsciously removed his clothes on the long walk. The people didn’t mind that he was just in his underpants, Puck guessed they were short on paying customers.
Chowing down on the burrito Puck started to notice something wrong. The lady behind the counter wasn’t a lady, she was a massive chicken. He must have been getting high on guacamole but even if there was a massive chicken, he still had his burrito. He quickly finished the burrito and fled the Mexican Restaurant trying not to frighten the massive chicken lady.
Running from the chicken lady, Puck ran into a miniature man. The man looked familiar, but had this awesome moustache. It was Blaine. He had never seen anyone with such a magnificent moustache. Puck hadn’t seen Blaine since the creepy guy from the warblers that speaks like Batman captured his heart. But there he was with a moustache anyone would be jealous of.
Puck told him about the amazing wedding that he was meant to be at, especially about the amazing turtle theme that Sam had picked. Puck had organised the Glee Club to sing at the wedding in turtle outfits. He didn't really care about the turtle outfits, but he knew it would impress Sam. Puck also knew how amazing it would be to see Rachel singing dressed as a turtle.
He asked Blaine if he could give him a lift and offered him an invite so he could catch up with all his old friends. Blaine accepted on the condition that he didn’t have to dress in one of the tacky outfits he was making the rest of party wear. Those outfits wouldn’t suit his magnificent moustache at all.
Puck didn’t realise that this ride was not a car. Blaine took Puck back to wear his sparkly rainbow unicorn was waiting for him. This was going to be awkward riding on the back of a unicorn in his underpants to a wedding with a guy with a moustache. He guessed that if Sam can have his turtle cars, he could arrive in style too.
Arriving at the venue in style, they pulled up out the front. A pissed off Kurt had been waiting for him. Kurt was pissed at the outfit Puck was making him wear. When Kurt saw who he was with, he flipped out and fainted. Puck and Blaine just left him there, he’d wake up eventually. This was Puck and Sam’s day after all. Maybe he’d mention it to Finn or someone inside.
He hurried in with no time to change. Getting married in your underpants in front of everyone in turtle outfits was totally fine. Sam was waiting at the altar for him with a huge smile on his face. Puck knew Sam loved seeing him in his underwear anyways.
Sam was wearing a Tux with a turtle pinned to his collar. The whole glee club was there in their turtle outfits singing as Puck walked down the aisle. Somehow Blaine had taken his father’s place and was giving him away. Puck was proud to have Blaine there with his impressive moustache.
Brittany had somehow missed the memo on the turtle outfits. Brittany was dressed as a dinosaur acting as the officiant. But Sam did not seem to care, he was completely focused on Puck and not worrying about the turtles.
The whole wedding went off with a bang, everyone danced and had a ball. Kurt eventually turned up and didn’t seem to care about his outfit anymore. He was more astonished by Blaine’s moustache. Kurt couldn’t believe he could have ever dated a guy that would even think of growing a moustache. What had he been thinking?
Rachel had looked funny singing in that turtle outfit, but nothing could compare to Finn. The outfits seemed to be one size fits all. Except Finn looked like his turtle outfit was meant for a toddler. The pants didn’t cover his ankles, and he could hardly move his arms. Finn was Puck’s best friend and didn’t want to disappoint and wore the outfit anyways.
Puck and Sam left the hall as everyone through glitter. They were all sparkly and happy. Blaine offered them the unicorn to keep as a wedding gift. The unicorn did seem to adore Puck anyways, and Blaine couldn’t break the unicorns heart by separating the two of them. Sam named the unicorn Fred and they rode off into the sunset happily married.
CHALLENGE 10 - JAR OF HEARTS
Title: Turtle Wedding
Author: samelthecamel
Rating: G
Pairing: Puck/Sam, Sam/Turtles, Puck/Burritos
Summary: Puck is late to his wedding.
Warnings: Complete Crack.
Wordcount: 1020
Puck's truck was not starting; this was not good. He was meant to be on his way to his wedding. It was going to be a very special wedding. A turtle wedding.
Puck was marrying Sam of course, and Sam had an obsession with turtles. So somehow the wedding ended up being turtle themed. Sam had even organised for the wedding cars to look like turtles. None of that was going to matter if he couldn’t get his truck to start.
Sitting here in this empty lot in the middle of know where, he knew Sam was going to be upset if he wasn’t there. This was meant to be the big special day.
Puck pulled out his phone and called the one person he could really count on, Finn. Finn had been his best friend since he could remember. Only thing was Finn didn’t answer. You’d think logically Puck would ring the next person he could think of in his phone, but no. Pissed off that Finn didn’t answer he started walking. Even though he had no clue where he was, he took off down the road hoping that someone would come along eventually and give him a lift.
He walked for miles and miles, but no one ever drove past on the road. Eventually in the distance he spotted a Mexican Restaurant. Walking so far had given Puck an appetite. He was determined to get to this turtle wedding of his, but he was pretty sure he had time. There is always time to stop for a burrito!
Walking into the restaurant he realised he had left behind is clothes. It was hot out, and had subconsciously removed his clothes on the long walk. The people didn’t mind that he was just in his underpants, Puck guessed they were short on paying customers.
Chowing down on the burrito Puck started to notice something wrong. The lady behind the counter wasn’t a lady, she was a massive chicken. He must have been getting high on guacamole but even if there was a massive chicken, he still had his burrito. He quickly finished the burrito and fled the Mexican Restaurant trying not to frighten the massive chicken lady.
Running from the chicken lady, Puck ran into a miniature man. The man looked familiar, but had this awesome moustache. It was Blaine. He had never seen anyone with such a magnificent moustache. Puck hadn’t seen Blaine since the creepy guy from the warblers that speaks like Batman captured his heart. But there he was with a moustache anyone would be jealous of.
Puck told him about the amazing wedding that he was meant to be at, especially about the amazing turtle theme that Sam had picked. Puck had organised the Glee Club to sing at the wedding in turtle outfits. He didn't really care about the turtle outfits, but he knew it would impress Sam. Puck also knew how amazing it would be to see Rachel singing dressed as a turtle.
He asked Blaine if he could give him a lift and offered him an invite so he could catch up with all his old friends. Blaine accepted on the condition that he didn’t have to dress in one of the tacky outfits he was making the rest of party wear. Those outfits wouldn’t suit his magnificent moustache at all.
Puck didn’t realise that this ride was not a car. Blaine took Puck back to wear his sparkly rainbow unicorn was waiting for him. This was going to be awkward riding on the back of a unicorn in his underpants to a wedding with a guy with a moustache. He guessed that if Sam can have his turtle cars, he could arrive in style too.
Arriving at the venue in style, they pulled up out the front. A pissed off Kurt had been waiting for him. Kurt was pissed at the outfit Puck was making him wear. When Kurt saw who he was with, he flipped out and fainted. Puck and Blaine just left him there, he’d wake up eventually. This was Puck and Sam’s day after all. Maybe he’d mention it to Finn or someone inside.
He hurried in with no time to change. Getting married in your underpants in front of everyone in turtle outfits was totally fine. Sam was waiting at the altar for him with a huge smile on his face. Puck knew Sam loved seeing him in his underwear anyways.
Sam was wearing a Tux with a turtle pinned to his collar. The whole glee club was there in their turtle outfits singing as Puck walked down the aisle. Somehow Blaine had taken his father’s place and was giving him away. Puck was proud to have Blaine there with his impressive moustache.
Brittany had somehow missed the memo on the turtle outfits. Brittany was dressed as a dinosaur acting as the officiant. But Sam did not seem to care, he was completely focused on Puck and not worrying about the turtles.
The whole wedding went off with a bang, everyone danced and had a ball. Kurt eventually turned up and didn’t seem to care about his outfit anymore. He was more astonished by Blaine’s moustache. Kurt couldn’t believe he could have ever dated a guy that would even think of growing a moustache. What had he been thinking?
Rachel had looked funny singing in that turtle outfit, but nothing could compare to Finn. The outfits seemed to be one size fits all. Except Finn looked like his turtle outfit was meant for a toddler. The pants didn’t cover his ankles, and he could hardly move his arms. Finn was Puck’s best friend and didn’t want to disappoint and wore the outfit anyways.
Puck and Sam left the hall as everyone through glitter. They were all sparkly and happy. Blaine offered them the unicorn to keep as a wedding gift. The unicorn did seem to adore Puck anyways, and Blaine couldn’t break the unicorns heart by separating the two of them. Sam named the unicorn Fred and they rode off into the sunset happily married.