In memoriam, or something of the sort.
There's hardly a cloud in the sky; my eyes see nothing but blue and sunshine. The temperature is comfortable, and when I walked outside just 40 minutes ago to go to work, my first thought was "holy shit, it's gorgeous out today."
It was the exact same thing I said when I left for school on this day nine years ago. I remember being floored on that very day, having never particularly taken notice of such a beautiful day before that. Little did I know at 7am that day that the rest of that day would be so, so different.
Only months before that day, I remember a conversation with my mom. It was about the day JFK was assassinated. She'd told me that it was a day nobody in her generation would forget, much the way the attack on Pearl Harbor was the same for the generation prior to hers. I can recall being told that it was likely I'd share that experience - something so big, so tragic, with so much impact that you'll remember exactly where you were when you heard about it - that every detail would be so ingrained that no matter how long after the fact, you'd think about it and remember like it was just yesterday.
Without a single doubt, September 11th, 2001 is that day for me. I'm sure most of us (who live in the States, especially) share that sentiment, presuming we're old enough to have such clear memories. It rings true, perhaps in double as a New Yorker. At least, this is the case for me.
It's one of those topics where I don't need to go on at length about my own personal experience with the day. Aside from being unsure, especially in the earlier parts of the day (The schools made sure not to tell a single one of us what the flying fuck what going on; probably not the smartest idea with the way things had gone but oh well), it wasn't notable. I can remember the fear, but taking it with a level of stride. I didn't know anyone personally who was hurt or killed, but of course, there are plenty of people I knew who did. This city is only so big, after all.
The strange part of it is that at the time, I don't think I felt the impact as hard as it really did. It took a couple of days, shock and disbelief, maybe for it to set in. And in the following months, the footage was shown so much that eventually, I just numbed to it. Seeing it didn't give me that stomach-dropping feeling for a long time. It wasn't until a few years later that seeing the footage once again really gave me that feeling.
But as time passed, I think I can see the effects of its impact. In retrospect, that day really changed things. I wasn't a risk-taker, but I'd lost my sense of fear and developed this ridiculous balls-to-the-wall personality. I think that was the first time I realized how short life is; you can't let it slip by you by being too afraid to do things. That's why I never let that fear paralyze me. In the time after that day, I knew plenty of people who were too afraid to go into Manhattan, it seemed risky. I didn't care. I had places I wanted to go and I wasn't going to let one event ruin the rest of my life. I began to seize life, and I've done so many things and had a plethora of experiences I may not have otherwise, too worried of risks and what could be.
That doesn't take away from the great tragedy of that event. Putting aside all political factors of the situation, so many people lost their lives (and many others injured in permanently debilitating ways). So many lost loved ones for a reason that wasn't worth its cause. Innocent lives as well as a staple of the New York City skyline.
It's terrible and tragic, though the strength of people who pulled together in the aftermath was nothing short of admirable. My pride in the people of this country often wavers, especially in the light of recent ignorance towards people of a faith different of their own - but that period in time will always be a reminder that sometimes, just sometimes, we can learn when to put differences aside for the greater good of the people.
Regardless, this - for me as well as many others - is a day to remember the lives lost and the heroics of those who did all they could to try and make that day a little less tragic. It's a day never to be forgotten, just like any tragedy that has happened in this world. This one hits close to home for me, and the people who were directly affected by this tragedy are in my thoughts.
- I'll be leaving this public for the duration of the day. I don't feel this is somethings I should limit to only my friends list.