(no subject)
New things
Yesterday I got drunk with my dad for the first time.
I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (again) this morning and for the first time I had no urge to call my ex-boyfriend.
Next semester I'm probably not taking any classes relevant to my major. I've decided to take things like "Guitar" and "Recording Studio" instead. I figure my degree is worthless anyway, I might as well have fun.
I'm a little stressed out because I have accumulated a ton of late work, have final papers coming up and there's only a month left of school for me to complete it all. I've done this to myself every semester of my life and I've always pulled through, but this time it's different. Now I have a boyfriend who will be going back to Baltimore for the summer and he's leaving on the last day of school. I will probably only see him a total of 10 days out of the summer (when I visit him and then when he visits me). I want to spend as much time as possible with him before I leave, but from experience I know the only way I'll get all my work done is if I become a hermit and don't sleep, leave the house or see anyone for the last 3-4 weeks of school. I hate that. And the day I'll have all my work finished, he'll be gone.
I don't know why I decided to take such difficult classes and work my ass off as much as I have when my degree is going to mean close to nothing anyway. Nobody respects my school. It sucks because I have worked so f*ing hard, grown and learned so much and I'll still probably end up working as a receptionist, doing art on the side, just as I would have if I never went to college in the first place. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it to go to college when the whole point was "to get a better job" and that's apparently a GIANT LIE. I mean, I have grown a lot and now maybe I'm more "interesting" than I was before, but what does that get me? I'm grateful for the people I've met, but most of them have moved away at this point. It just seems like everything I got here, I could have got on my own for a hell of a lot less money.