(no subject)
Sometimes i believe that it would make everything in this world so much easier if i was alone. its hard to deal with bullshit every five seconds of your life then turn around and everyone expect you to be the happy one - the one that they can cry on. i hate consequences. the thought in the back of your mind, thinking, when is this going to be over. life sometimes sets you up i think, see how strong you can be under all the pressure. thats why i try to stay up & stay strong.
when it comes down to it, i know its going to be me crying..once agian. im tired of constantly being hurt by people i love and care about the most. its like everything horrible happens at one time, and you think - the darkest it is before, the brighter the sunshine. but i havent seen any hint of rays coming my way..and its driving me insane. i just with 2005 would be over. this year has been so hard.
it scares me to think that one day you can see someone and joke with them and tell them you love them. and then the next day they're gone, and you dont know if you will ever get to be graced with their pressence agian. when i die, i just want people to look back at me and say "god, she loved living life."