Chemestry of a Car Crash.

[same_old_shtick]

My desire to let loose and scream hasn't lessened at all.

I want to scream until he hears me. Or until the pain stops. You know, whichever works.

I read this really great poem today in class:

Ojos que no ven
lo que ver desean
¿qué verán que vean?

and this one:

"Tus ojos son los ojos de un hombre enamorado;
Tus labios son los labios de un hombre que no cree
En el amor." "Entonces dime el remedio, amigo,
Si están en desacuerdo realidad y deseo."

This poetry unit, at this rate, should be interesting. Especially when the profe was fishing for examples of desires and realities in the class.

I'm starting to lose a sense of reality, whether it be the denial or the dreams or what have you. I can't even remember, for example, holding his hand. That he was physically real, and more than a persistant image in my mind. I'm fucking myself so up.

I wish I could stop waiting for something that will never come. Hell, it probably never existed. Yet I still wait, and wait, and wait. Everyday I wait, everyday I check my e-mail, I sign-on. Only now, I also wait for the e-mail informing me of my Dzia Dzia's death.

I'm killing Spain for myself.