Stupid ass president Stupid VP
Veep spins on gay nups
"Mister Vice President, you say you support President Bush's call for a constitutional amendment to prohibit same-sex marriage, but your own daughter is a lesbian, and if she wanted to marry, what would you say?"
"I'm glad you asked me that, Richard. I love my daughter and want her to be happy. I ask that her private life and my own private life be respected."
"Understood, sir. But we are, after all, talking about the private lives of other people. You once said marriage should be left to the states. Now you say you support the President. Isn't that a contradiction?"
"On the surface, maybe, Richard. But everyone knows not to take what I say at face value. After all, I said Iraq had reconstituted a nuclear weapons program. We now know that it had none whatsoever."
"So you disagree with the President?"
"I don't agree or disagree. When we have our same-sex lunches - just us - I mostly nod, he mostly smiles and then we have dessert. We both know what's going on. It's about the base - social conservatives, fundamentalist Christians and the like. We're just showing them we share their values.
"But - and this is important - we don't really care about this issue. It's not going anywhere."
"Really, sir?"
"Look, Schwarzenegger said it would be fine with him if California law was changed to permit same-sex marriage. Important Republican members of Congress oppose a constitutional amendment. Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Orrin Hatch opposes it. This thing is a dead letter."
"So this is politics at its most cynical?"
"You could say that. I call it being true to your core principle - getting reelected. But no real conservative could like this amendment. It has the federal government do what states ought to. And these gays and lesbians who want to marry - these are conservative values."
"Good point, Mister Vice President."
"You betcha. In the European Union, almost no one marries anymore. America is the great exception. We're socially conservative. Most gays and lesbians want to marry for traditional reasons."
"So you oppose a constitutional amendment barring same-sex marriage."
"I support the President."
"What if your daughter wants to marry?
"I want her to be happy."
"How can you reconcile the two?"
"The same way I do weapons of mass destruction in Iraq."
"Huh?"
"Exactly."
"Mister Vice President, you say you support President Bush's call for a constitutional amendment to prohibit same-sex marriage, but your own daughter is a lesbian, and if she wanted to marry, what would you say?"
"I'm glad you asked me that, Richard. I love my daughter and want her to be happy. I ask that her private life and my own private life be respected."
"Understood, sir. But we are, after all, talking about the private lives of other people. You once said marriage should be left to the states. Now you say you support the President. Isn't that a contradiction?"
"On the surface, maybe, Richard. But everyone knows not to take what I say at face value. After all, I said Iraq had reconstituted a nuclear weapons program. We now know that it had none whatsoever."
"So you disagree with the President?"
"I don't agree or disagree. When we have our same-sex lunches - just us - I mostly nod, he mostly smiles and then we have dessert. We both know what's going on. It's about the base - social conservatives, fundamentalist Christians and the like. We're just showing them we share their values.
"But - and this is important - we don't really care about this issue. It's not going anywhere."
"Really, sir?"
"Look, Schwarzenegger said it would be fine with him if California law was changed to permit same-sex marriage. Important Republican members of Congress oppose a constitutional amendment. Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Orrin Hatch opposes it. This thing is a dead letter."
"So this is politics at its most cynical?"
"You could say that. I call it being true to your core principle - getting reelected. But no real conservative could like this amendment. It has the federal government do what states ought to. And these gays and lesbians who want to marry - these are conservative values."
"Good point, Mister Vice President."
"You betcha. In the European Union, almost no one marries anymore. America is the great exception. We're socially conservative. Most gays and lesbians want to marry for traditional reasons."
"So you oppose a constitutional amendment barring same-sex marriage."
"I support the President."
"What if your daughter wants to marry?
"I want her to be happy."
"How can you reconcile the two?"
"The same way I do weapons of mass destruction in Iraq."
"Huh?"
"Exactly."