HOW TO WIN ARGUMENTS LOL
-Somehow, get into an insanely complex argument involving impossibly deep issues. Just as the other person delivers what they think is the killer blow, pause, look them in the eye, then slowly and deliberately pick up food and squash it into your own face. Then just sits there, arms folded, food dripping slowly from your face, calmly looking at the other person.
How can you follow that? Argument won.
-. Modulate your voice to fall out of sync with theirs.
Most people shout when others shout, whisper when others whisper, and try to match the other person's voice patterns to 'get on their level'. This rarely works in arguments, and they end up being shouting matches. So by making random changes to pitch, speed, cadence, and tone, one will find the other person begins to falter.
. Look away, and be silent for a while in the middle of one of their tirades, and look back when you know they are about to finish, and when they stop to hear your response, say something like: "I wish things were different, I don't want to argue with you, I (like/love/adore/admire/hate) you, but if we have to talk this through can we wait a while so that both of us are calmer and more our usual selves. I need time to think hard about some of what you've said anyway."
. Note the language,
if it is closed and non-varying, a good bet is that they are locked into one emotional level, and a way to win is simply to hug them. The flush of positive emotion this causes will destabilise them so look out for hits or pushes, but in the silence and their confusion you can deliver a new point assured that they will hear you.
. Complement them in the middle of everything on something you know is important to them.
When they try to get back to the argument, tell them they don't talk about themselves enough, and that perhaps if you understood them better you would agree more with what they said. This one is pure genius and works 99% of the time.
. If all else fails say this : "I refuse to have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed. Goodbye."
Then walk away in triumph.
. If even that fails and it is your girlfriend and the two of your are argued to near exhaustion, kiss her. Its probably what she wants right now.
Else run.
-Use exact figures shaked off from the sleeve. Invent your references also on the fly. It's very impressing to have more figures than Al Gore: "No, I don't think so. According to National Social Security Study addressed to Congress April 24th 1996 dr. CJ Willeford proves that during the period of 1992-1994 there were only 230 450 cases of welfare frauds resulting the loss of $1 043 500 for the federal state."
-Apply heavy usage of Latin and intellectual words
Poor: "Things are bad."
Better: "The formative mechanism of culture amounts to a reification of human activities which fixates the living and models the transmission of experience from one generation to another on the transmission of commodities; a reification which strives to ensure the past's domination over the future."
-Use personal insults
If you have absolutely run out of arguments grap for the shortest straw:
No, I don't think so. According to National Social Security Study addressed to Congress April 24th 1996 dr. CJ Willeford proves that during the period of 1992-1994 there were only 230 450 cases of welfare frauds resulting the loss of $1 043 500 for the federal state.
But I have three new studies here in my bag that show very different figures, look.
Yes, but have you noticed how ridicilously big nose you have?
How can you follow that? Argument won.
-. Modulate your voice to fall out of sync with theirs.
Most people shout when others shout, whisper when others whisper, and try to match the other person's voice patterns to 'get on their level'. This rarely works in arguments, and they end up being shouting matches. So by making random changes to pitch, speed, cadence, and tone, one will find the other person begins to falter.
. Look away, and be silent for a while in the middle of one of their tirades, and look back when you know they are about to finish, and when they stop to hear your response, say something like: "I wish things were different, I don't want to argue with you, I (like/love/adore/admire/hate) you, but if we have to talk this through can we wait a while so that both of us are calmer and more our usual selves. I need time to think hard about some of what you've said anyway."
. Note the language,
if it is closed and non-varying, a good bet is that they are locked into one emotional level, and a way to win is simply to hug them. The flush of positive emotion this causes will destabilise them so look out for hits or pushes, but in the silence and their confusion you can deliver a new point assured that they will hear you.
. Complement them in the middle of everything on something you know is important to them.
When they try to get back to the argument, tell them they don't talk about themselves enough, and that perhaps if you understood them better you would agree more with what they said. This one is pure genius and works 99% of the time.
. If all else fails say this : "I refuse to have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed. Goodbye."
Then walk away in triumph.
. If even that fails and it is your girlfriend and the two of your are argued to near exhaustion, kiss her. Its probably what she wants right now.
Else run.
-Use exact figures shaked off from the sleeve. Invent your references also on the fly. It's very impressing to have more figures than Al Gore: "No, I don't think so. According to National Social Security Study addressed to Congress April 24th 1996 dr. CJ Willeford proves that during the period of 1992-1994 there were only 230 450 cases of welfare frauds resulting the loss of $1 043 500 for the federal state."
-Apply heavy usage of Latin and intellectual words
Poor: "Things are bad."
Better: "The formative mechanism of culture amounts to a reification of human activities which fixates the living and models the transmission of experience from one generation to another on the transmission of commodities; a reification which strives to ensure the past's domination over the future."
-Use personal insults
If you have absolutely run out of arguments grap for the shortest straw:
No, I don't think so. According to National Social Security Study addressed to Congress April 24th 1996 dr. CJ Willeford proves that during the period of 1992-1994 there were only 230 450 cases of welfare frauds resulting the loss of $1 043 500 for the federal state.
But I have three new studies here in my bag that show very different figures, look.
Yes, but have you noticed how ridicilously big nose you have?