Don't want to know if it gets worse than this.

[sam_sational]

Tis the season for joy and for caring,
for the family fun of decorating and baking.
And the scramble we share which can tumble our moods
is still part of the pleasure of Christmas memories.

But I have a HOLE in my life, a black hole draining
all the hopes for good cheer, laughter and those memories.
There is a vacancy at the table of life.
Pass the potatoes, hand out the gifts.
How do I get past this painful reality shift.

As I face the week ahead, I do so with closed eyes.
I just can't handle seeing where the smile is missing,
the flash of those snappy brown eyes guarding the system,
the yuletide carol of keys constantly rattling,
the growl of the Talon either leaving to, or returning from,
keeping the nuances of relationship fresh and vibrant.

And knowing her life was lived
clawing through torments and worries
just so she could revel in those times, moments,
when all that was important was celebrating
the time spent with a friend, a pint of Ben-n-Jerry’s,
music bent to her moods or hopes or fears;
that was more than enough for me.

Still, tis the season for joy and caring.
And I’ll try my best as I open
a package called tomorrow.
And fill it with the tears of a sightless heart.