Honey you, Are my Jewish Star
So, ever since Harvard I really think the whole debate team in general has just gotten so much closer, and sincerely, it's just awesome. Malia, Kayla, Jeet, Alicia, Me, even Ellen just got...great. Anyway, funny story time, kids.
Well, Wednesday I actually decided to attend a Beta Club meeting. Do praise me. My own hand actually signed that sheet to sign me in, not Malia's! Anyway, so I'm standing there on the phone with my dad, bitching at him, and Kayla comes up to me and says, "Jacob Hiller is totally checking you out." Now, Jacob Hiller is someone I always hear about because he's second in the junior class and is best friends with Jeet, yet I had no idea who he was. So Kayla points him out through a bit of confusion. Later, Deeba hits me in the boob and I realize Jacob's eyes are just glued.
So, today in English, Alicia, Malia, Ellen, and I decide it would be best that I wrote Jacob a love letter. So it was just like "Oh Jacob, my love for you only rivals my love for Yahweh. If you beat Jeet in class ranks I will give you eight crazy nights. You sure know how to light my menorah." Blah, blah, blah. So, Alicia (first in our class) sees him so said she would give it to him. Well, on my way to Malia's locker, we pass by Jeet and Jeet has a reply from Jacob. Let's have a read, shall we?:
FRONT:
My New Jewish "Friend"
WITHIN THE FOLDING
If loving you is a crime then ARREST me officer!
BODY
My sweet, sexy Jewess,
As much as I try to contain myself, I sometimes cannot restrain my eyes from climbing up, down, (and all around) your voluptuous Sinai MOUNTAINS!
Can you blame me?
I was overflowing with jealousy when Jeet got to go to Harvard with you, and I wanted to separate the Red Se between us to come spin your dradle!
I know what you're thinking about doing...and don't worry!
(I'm Kosher!)
The rabbi might say it's sinful, but don't PASSOVER me quite yet! I'll treat your body like a temple, and when I flood you like Noah, you'll never forget!
My Torah's always open...
Jakob
If that's not the greatest letter ever, I don't know what is! But apparently I have some competition, some girl named Julie. Psh, I can take her. Sort of.
Well, Wednesday I actually decided to attend a Beta Club meeting. Do praise me. My own hand actually signed that sheet to sign me in, not Malia's! Anyway, so I'm standing there on the phone with my dad, bitching at him, and Kayla comes up to me and says, "Jacob Hiller is totally checking you out." Now, Jacob Hiller is someone I always hear about because he's second in the junior class and is best friends with Jeet, yet I had no idea who he was. So Kayla points him out through a bit of confusion. Later, Deeba hits me in the boob and I realize Jacob's eyes are just glued.
So, today in English, Alicia, Malia, Ellen, and I decide it would be best that I wrote Jacob a love letter. So it was just like "Oh Jacob, my love for you only rivals my love for Yahweh. If you beat Jeet in class ranks I will give you eight crazy nights. You sure know how to light my menorah." Blah, blah, blah. So, Alicia (first in our class) sees him so said she would give it to him. Well, on my way to Malia's locker, we pass by Jeet and Jeet has a reply from Jacob. Let's have a read, shall we?:
FRONT:
My New Jewish "Friend"
WITHIN THE FOLDING
If loving you is a crime then ARREST me officer!
BODY
My sweet, sexy Jewess,
As much as I try to contain myself, I sometimes cannot restrain my eyes from climbing up, down, (and all around) your voluptuous Sinai MOUNTAINS!
Can you blame me?
I was overflowing with jealousy when Jeet got to go to Harvard with you, and I wanted to separate the Red Se between us to come spin your dradle!
I know what you're thinking about doing...and don't worry!
(I'm Kosher!)
The rabbi might say it's sinful, but don't PASSOVER me quite yet! I'll treat your body like a temple, and when I flood you like Noah, you'll never forget!
My Torah's always open...
Jakob
If that's not the greatest letter ever, I don't know what is! But apparently I have some competition, some girl named Julie. Psh, I can take her. Sort of.