Fire Alarms: a Do and Don't
How to respond to the fire alarm in your apartment building when it goes off at 2:30am in the morning:
* Lurch awake
* Grab robe, long parka, and boots.
* Head out front door, checking for heat. Or go out on fire escape/balcony
* Realize it was false alarm, grumble, go back to bed.
How I did it:
* lurch awake
* robe, parka, boots
* CAT! Where is pet feline, can't leave her to fiery and smoky doom
* Wrestle with cat carrier buried in closet, prompting cartoonish comedy avalanche noises
* Cat has ran under bed and into bed frame via hole she clawed
* Grab catnip, try to lure out
* Snarl, bodily lift up bed (with bad back, even, adrenaline is a wonderful thing), dump out cat
* Seize cat in full nelson, stuff in cat carrier like I was making sausage
* close carrier, stumble out door in robe/park/boots
* stand like an utter twat with scared and annoyed cat banging head against carrier door as I discover it is false alarm
* stay awake until Oh God O'Clock due to adrenaline and bad Chinese take-out consumed with father
* wonder why the hell I put myself in danger over animal-- *flop* *nuzzle* *scritch* *purrrrrrrr* Right.
* Lurch awake
* Grab robe, long parka, and boots.
* Head out front door, checking for heat. Or go out on fire escape/balcony
* Realize it was false alarm, grumble, go back to bed.
How I did it:
* lurch awake
* robe, parka, boots
* CAT! Where is pet feline, can't leave her to fiery and smoky doom
* Wrestle with cat carrier buried in closet, prompting cartoonish comedy avalanche noises
* Cat has ran under bed and into bed frame via hole she clawed
* Grab catnip, try to lure out
* Snarl, bodily lift up bed (with bad back, even, adrenaline is a wonderful thing), dump out cat
* Seize cat in full nelson, stuff in cat carrier like I was making sausage
* close carrier, stumble out door in robe/park/boots
* stand like an utter twat with scared and annoyed cat banging head against carrier door as I discover it is false alarm
* stay awake until Oh God O'Clock due to adrenaline and bad Chinese take-out consumed with father
* wonder why the hell I put myself in danger over animal-- *flop* *nuzzle* *scritch* *purrrrrrrr* Right.