poverty
is it really poverty when you know you'll never want for food and shelter? my phone is dead, but my internet is on. i have an income, even if it won't cover all the debts i have incurred. i can't seem to sell my upright bass for a steal of a price, so i get to choose between my phone and my bank account. at least i'm not getting evicted. the two women that wanted to be with me right before i went into the state hospital in 2007 are still chasing me today. yet all they remind me of is the girl that i drove away at that same time.
this lonely is stupid and childish. i miss a time that really was just too busy to notice how fucked up it was. now that i'm not busy, i keep ending up back at square zero: why the fuck am i here? to pirate dvds that i rent from the local video store? at one time, the only goal i had was to be fruitful and multiply. as it stands, my only goal is to keep from killing myself while i still have friends. as soon as they're all gone, then i can cash in my chips.
working on it.
this lonely is stupid and childish. i miss a time that really was just too busy to notice how fucked up it was. now that i'm not busy, i keep ending up back at square zero: why the fuck am i here? to pirate dvds that i rent from the local video store? at one time, the only goal i had was to be fruitful and multiply. as it stands, my only goal is to keep from killing myself while i still have friends. as soon as they're all gone, then i can cash in my chips.
working on it.