Cancer and school
So, my mom has cancer again. Not uterine cancer like last time (I still never found out what type she had...), but this is more serious. We first knew something was wrong a few days before my birthday back in March. As my mom is diabetic, she has regular checkups and blood testing done. Her latest blood test came back as severely anemic. The doctor ran the test again to check for lab errors, but the same result came back. He called her at work and told her to go to the emergency room for a transfusion. She ended up staying for a couple of days, receiving a few bags of blood and the diagnosis of pernicious anemia, which she then received vitamin B12 shots for.
The night she was released, the results from the CT scan of her abdomen taken in the hospital came back. Apparently she had "spots" on her liver and spleen. Oh, lovely. Well, she liked the hematologist she had met at the hospital, and went to see him. His professional opinion was lymphoma, although testing would need to be done to determine type. First a bone marrow biopsy. Results came back inconclusive; they could tell something was funny from the results but it was too vague for a diagnosis. Next test, a liver biopsy. I believe they used ultrasound to guide the needle, but unfortunately their entire sample was necrotic and unfit for use in diagnosis.
Meanwhile, mom had to go back into the hospital again, not only for more transfusions, but because the cancer was causing her blood sugar to go crazy. She was in for about a week and while there another liver biopsy was done. She was released on Saturday, now taking insulin instead of her usual diabetes drugs. It's been difficult for her because her swollen liver and spleen are causing her pain and her hunger is greatly diminished. Not eating as a diabetic is not good, and in addition to that her albumin level was low in the hospital, making her feet and legs swell. So we have to make sure she gets enough sugars and protein every meal.
Today the results of the second liver biopsy came back, and the tumor sample was successfully immunophenotyped with the diagnosis of diffuse large B cell lymphoma. Due to the specific markers expressed, I do not believe she has one of the major subtypes listed on the page, as both BCL2 and BCL6 are positive, along with CD10, CD20, and CD45. It looks like it's one of the more survivable of the aggressive lymphomas, but obviously we're all scared. Mom is already scheduled to have a PICC line inserted, and we have faxed her records to Memorial Sloan-Kettering for a second opinion.
In relation to all of this, I am a complete mess. I had started attending college again back in February, and was a few weeks into my first semester when this all happened. The last day I was in school was the day mom went to the hospital for the first time. When the call about spots on her liver and spleen came, and the hematologist said cancer, I shut down. I have not been able to go back to school, to leave the house, to fucking function. It's like everything I have worked on for years all crumbled at that moment. I was actually going out and talking to people and learning, and in an instant I was back to the point of not even being able to pick up the phone to talk to school officials. I still haven't contacted them, and no one has contacted me, despite the fact that I haven't been in class since March.
Mom had a lot of sick days to take, although I don't know if she has any left and what happens when she runs out. Dad had to quit his part time job to stay by mom's bedside in the hospital, although he's been driving friends of friends between the airports and other places for a small fee. But mom has brought in the bulk of the money ever since dad had his knee replaced. He gets a disability payment each month, but it was never as much as mom's (meager) paycheck, and I'm scared to even ask what is going to happen with her job. She hasn't been in work for a while because of the last hospital stay and now her sugar is still a bit crazy, but she seemed to think this morning that if her sugar gets under control she can go back to work. I had to remind her that she'll probably feel even worse once she starts chemotherapy.
But the one thing I am most afraid of in the short term is not a lack of money due to mom not working, but what happens if they let her go? Our health insurance depends on that job. Just looking at their website, everything processed under my mom's name since the beginning of March adds up to the amount billed by doctors being $46,613.15. Yeah, I just happen to have that much money lying around for cancer emergencies...
The night she was released, the results from the CT scan of her abdomen taken in the hospital came back. Apparently she had "spots" on her liver and spleen. Oh, lovely. Well, she liked the hematologist she had met at the hospital, and went to see him. His professional opinion was lymphoma, although testing would need to be done to determine type. First a bone marrow biopsy. Results came back inconclusive; they could tell something was funny from the results but it was too vague for a diagnosis. Next test, a liver biopsy. I believe they used ultrasound to guide the needle, but unfortunately their entire sample was necrotic and unfit for use in diagnosis.
Meanwhile, mom had to go back into the hospital again, not only for more transfusions, but because the cancer was causing her blood sugar to go crazy. She was in for about a week and while there another liver biopsy was done. She was released on Saturday, now taking insulin instead of her usual diabetes drugs. It's been difficult for her because her swollen liver and spleen are causing her pain and her hunger is greatly diminished. Not eating as a diabetic is not good, and in addition to that her albumin level was low in the hospital, making her feet and legs swell. So we have to make sure she gets enough sugars and protein every meal.
Today the results of the second liver biopsy came back, and the tumor sample was successfully immunophenotyped with the diagnosis of diffuse large B cell lymphoma. Due to the specific markers expressed, I do not believe she has one of the major subtypes listed on the page, as both BCL2 and BCL6 are positive, along with CD10, CD20, and CD45. It looks like it's one of the more survivable of the aggressive lymphomas, but obviously we're all scared. Mom is already scheduled to have a PICC line inserted, and we have faxed her records to Memorial Sloan-Kettering for a second opinion.
In relation to all of this, I am a complete mess. I had started attending college again back in February, and was a few weeks into my first semester when this all happened. The last day I was in school was the day mom went to the hospital for the first time. When the call about spots on her liver and spleen came, and the hematologist said cancer, I shut down. I have not been able to go back to school, to leave the house, to fucking function. It's like everything I have worked on for years all crumbled at that moment. I was actually going out and talking to people and learning, and in an instant I was back to the point of not even being able to pick up the phone to talk to school officials. I still haven't contacted them, and no one has contacted me, despite the fact that I haven't been in class since March.
Mom had a lot of sick days to take, although I don't know if she has any left and what happens when she runs out. Dad had to quit his part time job to stay by mom's bedside in the hospital, although he's been driving friends of friends between the airports and other places for a small fee. But mom has brought in the bulk of the money ever since dad had his knee replaced. He gets a disability payment each month, but it was never as much as mom's (meager) paycheck, and I'm scared to even ask what is going to happen with her job. She hasn't been in work for a while because of the last hospital stay and now her sugar is still a bit crazy, but she seemed to think this morning that if her sugar gets under control she can go back to work. I had to remind her that she'll probably feel even worse once she starts chemotherapy.
But the one thing I am most afraid of in the short term is not a lack of money due to mom not working, but what happens if they let her go? Our health insurance depends on that job. Just looking at their website, everything processed under my mom's name since the beginning of March adds up to the amount billed by doctors being $46,613.15. Yeah, I just happen to have that much money lying around for cancer emergencies...