salwaphoenix in 2017
Happy new year everyone :)
Honestly, my life has changed a lot in a year. There was a time in my life when I thought that I would never be able to part ways with Arashi and its fandom, and somehow a personal break up managed to do just that. Up until late 2015, I was still able to follow Arashi and even went to Sendai to attend the concert. Which was partly awesome because I got to travel again with Marisa, but it was also sort of painful to somehow think that I might lose something special at that point.
True enough, I lost it. I didn't know the significant at that point in time, but a few months back I realized how detached I have grown to everything Japan. I stopped taking the class, I didn't listen to any Japanese songs (Arashi included), nor did I watch any Jdorama or anime. Nothing for almost one whole year. In the middle of it, I still meet with friends and anikis who are up-to-date with the scenes and I would join in the conversation, as if I know exactly what they were saying.
Not really.
I don't know what triggered me to consume Japan again. It's part of the healing process I guess. I still remembered crying just because the anime song sounded familiar. Now I am able to finish the entire Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. I am also looking forward to winter's anime, although I know some animes gonna hurt... just a little.
I have also managed to watch all Arashi's year-end performances and I am glad to be able to do so again. I didn't realize that I have made an entire nation to become a guy I loved. Maybe because our one and only holiday together was to Japan, and that was the last time we saw each other. Remembering still hurts, but as I watch Arashi again, the detachment started to take place more and more. Now Arashi has become almost independent of our memories, saved for Nino's baseball song. It's not part of the performances this year, and I am thankful for that.
So what do I want in 2017? My love for Arashi and Japan again. I want to get back the love I have lost, or in this case to separate the love for Japan and the love story that has ended. Truth be told my love is still the same, but I want to be able to love Japan again without thinking that it is my love for him.
I want to love Japan for myself again. Arashi will be my moonbridge.
Happy new year. May love and happiness be with us all.
Salwaphoenix <3
Honestly, my life has changed a lot in a year. There was a time in my life when I thought that I would never be able to part ways with Arashi and its fandom, and somehow a personal break up managed to do just that. Up until late 2015, I was still able to follow Arashi and even went to Sendai to attend the concert. Which was partly awesome because I got to travel again with Marisa, but it was also sort of painful to somehow think that I might lose something special at that point.
True enough, I lost it. I didn't know the significant at that point in time, but a few months back I realized how detached I have grown to everything Japan. I stopped taking the class, I didn't listen to any Japanese songs (Arashi included), nor did I watch any Jdorama or anime. Nothing for almost one whole year. In the middle of it, I still meet with friends and anikis who are up-to-date with the scenes and I would join in the conversation, as if I know exactly what they were saying.
Not really.
I don't know what triggered me to consume Japan again. It's part of the healing process I guess. I still remembered crying just because the anime song sounded familiar. Now I am able to finish the entire Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. I am also looking forward to winter's anime, although I know some animes gonna hurt... just a little.
I have also managed to watch all Arashi's year-end performances and I am glad to be able to do so again. I didn't realize that I have made an entire nation to become a guy I loved. Maybe because our one and only holiday together was to Japan, and that was the last time we saw each other. Remembering still hurts, but as I watch Arashi again, the detachment started to take place more and more. Now Arashi has become almost independent of our memories, saved for Nino's baseball song. It's not part of the performances this year, and I am thankful for that.
So what do I want in 2017? My love for Arashi and Japan again. I want to get back the love I have lost, or in this case to separate the love for Japan and the love story that has ended. Truth be told my love is still the same, but I want to be able to love Japan again without thinking that it is my love for him.
I want to love Japan for myself again. Arashi will be my moonbridge.
Happy new year. May love and happiness be with us all.
Salwaphoenix <3