IM IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION
well
i know wut u r thinkin... "it has been an awfully long time since i have enjoyed a nice entry in dan salvets lj"... n i feel u - enjoy biatches
it was a cool n dry n windy n clear christmas eve day. the national schoolboard had deployed a massive army of titanium coated supertanks that were designed for one thing - conquer and occupy every school in the nation so that every student would miss his christmas break. the only thing that stood between the tanks n the school was a super sexy man. thats rite me. who the fuck did u think - its my damn story.
anyway, the wind harshly blew my golden locks out of my face, exposing my rugid beard and a single scar across my eye that i acquired when i wrestled the ferocious gang of grizzly bears that were on the hunt for fresh blood about a year ago. i stared across at the ginormous armada of supertanks fit with unlimited missiles, ammo, lasers, and tomahawks.
TANKS: MOVE ASIDE N U SHALL NOT BE TERMINATED....BITCH
EL CAPITON VET: U SHALL NOT PASS
TANKS: U LEAVE US NO CHOICE BUT TO EXTERMINATE U....BITCH
EL CAPITON VET: U SHALL NOT PASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
just then the tanks fire off their missilesrite at my face. BOOM BOOM BANG POW SUKI SUKI FIVE DORRAR. they thought that they had demolished me. HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA FOOLISH PUSSY BASTARDS. do they not know that they vet is nearly impenitrable. when the smoke cleared i appeared with my shirt disentegrated. my hard, smooth pecs gleamed with the sunlite, and my ripped abs flexed with every breath. i began to make my advance and smash all the tanks to pieces when suddenly i heard the voice of a much greater adversary from the balcony behind me.
THE GREAT MR KORN: DAN U COPIED GANDALF FROM THE LORD OF THE RINGS IN YOUR LIL SPEECH EARLIER - IM GONNA GIVE U AN F...N KICK UR ASS U BOHNER BITING COCK MONKEY
EL CAPITON VET: MR KORN UR DAYS OF EVILNESS AND UNFAIR GRADING ARE FINISHED - PREPARE TO DIE!!!
THE GREAT MR KORN: SO IT IS A FITE TO THE DEATH THEN HAHAHAHA - BITCH
he jumped off the balcony and onto my hard chest. we began to brawl with a titanic fury that caused a tornado to form. it took out a fourth of the tanks but they still seemed to be an endless metal sea. with me preoccupied for the moment the tanks roared forward toward the edge of the school. suddenly a silhouette appeared against the sun.
SILHOUETTE: AH HA... IT IS I... EL CRONIN DE LA CASA DE BLOOOOOD... U NO TAKA LA ESCUELA HOSTIAGE
with a shish of his red satin cape, el cronin del la casa de bloooood remove his belt
EL CRONIN DE LA CASA DE BLOOOOOOOOD: PREPARRRRE TO BE...DEFEATED - OLEY!!! POOTIE TANG STYLE BEACHES!
TANKS: OH NO!!!!!!!!
BOOM CRACK CRUMBLE CRUMBLE REARY SUKI SUKI ONLY FIVE DORRAR!!! the whole wall of the building burst open to reveal the super jakced and incredibly strong and sexy nick quest. every vein in his body was popping out as his muscles bulged past the limit of human strength.
NICK QUEST: LETS RUMBLE BITCHES - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EL CRONIN DE LA CASA DE BLOOOOOOOOOD: YO ESTOY IN AGREEMENT WIT U MI AMIGO
they imeddiately went to battle with the tanks destroying hlaf instantaneously.
finally after our great battle korn was all but defeated. lying at my feet he begged for mercy as cronin n quest destroyed the tanks one hundred at a time. just as i was to give the death blow to mr korn - my hand was held back. it was mr farese the wise
MR FARESE THE WISE: THE BIBLE SAYS "LOVE THY NEIGHBOR LIKE THYSELF...BUT FUCK UR ENEMIES UP!"
with this he whipped out his bamboo cane of wisdom.
MR FARESE THE WISE: I SHALT GIVE THEE NOT BUT AN HOUR TO REGAIN THY STRENGTH THEN I SHALL KILL THEE IN COMBAT
THE GREAT MR KORN: U SHALL NEVER DEFEAT ME. I KNOW OF THE ENVIRONMENT - THE BIRDS, THE TREES, THE WASTEWATER
MR FARESE THE WISE: WE SHALL WAIT
the great fleet of tanks was down to naught but a handful now, but on the horizon i could see that all of the tanks in the nation were swarming to do battle with us. i knew wut i had to do.
i quickly ran and rallied all of the students for the cause. we formed an enormous front outside of the school and awaited our enemies. within an hour they were but 100 yards from us. el cronin de la casa de blooooooooooood n nick quest were at my side as generals for our army.
EL CAPITON VET: CHARGE!!!!!!!!!! DESTROY THEM BEFORE THEY DESTROY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!
NICK QUEST: ITS GO TIME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mr farese the wise and the great mr korn rose to complete their battle. neither said a word. mr korn charge with his walking stick, but mr farese adjusted and swung. hard. WHACK! the great mr korn fell off the building into the chaos of the battle below, never to be seen in this world agin.
MR FARESE THE WISE: DAMN TREE-HUGGIN HIPPEE
soon the tanks began to overpower us. quest cronin n i were unable to subdue the whole army n they were slowly breaking us down. suddenly from the middle of the sea of battle, came a huge roar. ragin randal a young student emitted a wave of energy in every direction that utterly destroyed every tank.
after the battle i went over n talked to him for a sec
EL CAPITON VET: HOW THE HELL DID U DO THAT?
RAGIN RANDAL: WELL, THEY WERE OUT OF LINE
el cronin de la casa de blooooooood quest n myself stood on the balcony lookin out on the battlefield. many of ours were killed. heres a list:
TYLER BUSH
DAN SANDS
DIEGO
AUSTIN
TOLGA KULUUSLUSLSUSULSUSLUSSUUUUSUSLSU (THOUGHT HIS PAINTBALL GUN WAS A GOOD WEAPON)
JEREMY LEGUME
KENNY KELLER (FELL APART)
JARED DORFMAN
ALEX MARTIAN
DAN BICKEL
NIEL SOCKEL
MICHHHHHAAEL
MANY MORE
just as the sunlite faded away as we looked upon the carnage cool mikey miles walked up
COOL MIKEY MILES: WUT THE FUCK HAPPENED
EL CAPITON VET: DUDE U MISSED IT WE JUST FOUGHT A WAR AGAINST HUGE ASS TANKS N MR KORN
COOL MIKEY MILES: REALLY? WOW I DIDNT KNOW
EL CRONIN DE LA CASA DE BLOOOOOOOOOOD: PERO SENOR MIKEY, DIDNT U NOT HERE EL BATTLEO - DONDE WERE U?
COOL MIKEY MILES: OH I WAS HAVING DOGGYSTYLE SEX WITH ASHLEY LANDMAN, RACHEL BENTLEY, JEN GLANTZ, JAMIE DORFMAN, GINA, ALEX SWHARTZ, WHITNEY SHATNER, DANIELLE RODGERS AND LIZ LYONS
EL CAPITON VET: WOW... I MEAN WOW - U MUST HAVE BEEN REAL BUSY... WOW DAMN MAN - WOW
LEAFER RODDEN: YO MAN WUZ UP DOGG. WUT UP NIGGA.
NICK QUEST: HEY MAN WHERE THE FUCK U BEEN CHRIS!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
LEAFER RODDEN: YO MAN I WAS LIKE SMOKIN A BLUNT MAN - KNOW WUT IM SAYIN DOGG
EL CAPITON VET N THE WHOLE GANG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - RODDEN U SO CRAZY - HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
i know wut u r thinkin... "it has been an awfully long time since i have enjoyed a nice entry in dan salvets lj"... n i feel u - enjoy biatches
it was a cool n dry n windy n clear christmas eve day. the national schoolboard had deployed a massive army of titanium coated supertanks that were designed for one thing - conquer and occupy every school in the nation so that every student would miss his christmas break. the only thing that stood between the tanks n the school was a super sexy man. thats rite me. who the fuck did u think - its my damn story.
anyway, the wind harshly blew my golden locks out of my face, exposing my rugid beard and a single scar across my eye that i acquired when i wrestled the ferocious gang of grizzly bears that were on the hunt for fresh blood about a year ago. i stared across at the ginormous armada of supertanks fit with unlimited missiles, ammo, lasers, and tomahawks.
TANKS: MOVE ASIDE N U SHALL NOT BE TERMINATED....BITCH
EL CAPITON VET: U SHALL NOT PASS
TANKS: U LEAVE US NO CHOICE BUT TO EXTERMINATE U....BITCH
EL CAPITON VET: U SHALL NOT PASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
just then the tanks fire off their missilesrite at my face. BOOM BOOM BANG POW SUKI SUKI FIVE DORRAR. they thought that they had demolished me. HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA FOOLISH PUSSY BASTARDS. do they not know that they vet is nearly impenitrable. when the smoke cleared i appeared with my shirt disentegrated. my hard, smooth pecs gleamed with the sunlite, and my ripped abs flexed with every breath. i began to make my advance and smash all the tanks to pieces when suddenly i heard the voice of a much greater adversary from the balcony behind me.
THE GREAT MR KORN: DAN U COPIED GANDALF FROM THE LORD OF THE RINGS IN YOUR LIL SPEECH EARLIER - IM GONNA GIVE U AN F...N KICK UR ASS U BOHNER BITING COCK MONKEY
EL CAPITON VET: MR KORN UR DAYS OF EVILNESS AND UNFAIR GRADING ARE FINISHED - PREPARE TO DIE!!!
THE GREAT MR KORN: SO IT IS A FITE TO THE DEATH THEN HAHAHAHA - BITCH
he jumped off the balcony and onto my hard chest. we began to brawl with a titanic fury that caused a tornado to form. it took out a fourth of the tanks but they still seemed to be an endless metal sea. with me preoccupied for the moment the tanks roared forward toward the edge of the school. suddenly a silhouette appeared against the sun.
SILHOUETTE: AH HA... IT IS I... EL CRONIN DE LA CASA DE BLOOOOOD... U NO TAKA LA ESCUELA HOSTIAGE
with a shish of his red satin cape, el cronin del la casa de bloooood remove his belt
EL CRONIN DE LA CASA DE BLOOOOOOOOD: PREPARRRRE TO BE...DEFEATED - OLEY!!! POOTIE TANG STYLE BEACHES!
TANKS: OH NO!!!!!!!!
BOOM CRACK CRUMBLE CRUMBLE REARY SUKI SUKI ONLY FIVE DORRAR!!! the whole wall of the building burst open to reveal the super jakced and incredibly strong and sexy nick quest. every vein in his body was popping out as his muscles bulged past the limit of human strength.
NICK QUEST: LETS RUMBLE BITCHES - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EL CRONIN DE LA CASA DE BLOOOOOOOOOD: YO ESTOY IN AGREEMENT WIT U MI AMIGO
they imeddiately went to battle with the tanks destroying hlaf instantaneously.
finally after our great battle korn was all but defeated. lying at my feet he begged for mercy as cronin n quest destroyed the tanks one hundred at a time. just as i was to give the death blow to mr korn - my hand was held back. it was mr farese the wise
MR FARESE THE WISE: THE BIBLE SAYS "LOVE THY NEIGHBOR LIKE THYSELF...BUT FUCK UR ENEMIES UP!"
with this he whipped out his bamboo cane of wisdom.
MR FARESE THE WISE: I SHALT GIVE THEE NOT BUT AN HOUR TO REGAIN THY STRENGTH THEN I SHALL KILL THEE IN COMBAT
THE GREAT MR KORN: U SHALL NEVER DEFEAT ME. I KNOW OF THE ENVIRONMENT - THE BIRDS, THE TREES, THE WASTEWATER
MR FARESE THE WISE: WE SHALL WAIT
the great fleet of tanks was down to naught but a handful now, but on the horizon i could see that all of the tanks in the nation were swarming to do battle with us. i knew wut i had to do.
i quickly ran and rallied all of the students for the cause. we formed an enormous front outside of the school and awaited our enemies. within an hour they were but 100 yards from us. el cronin de la casa de blooooooooooood n nick quest were at my side as generals for our army.
EL CAPITON VET: CHARGE!!!!!!!!!! DESTROY THEM BEFORE THEY DESTROY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!
NICK QUEST: ITS GO TIME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mr farese the wise and the great mr korn rose to complete their battle. neither said a word. mr korn charge with his walking stick, but mr farese adjusted and swung. hard. WHACK! the great mr korn fell off the building into the chaos of the battle below, never to be seen in this world agin.
MR FARESE THE WISE: DAMN TREE-HUGGIN HIPPEE
soon the tanks began to overpower us. quest cronin n i were unable to subdue the whole army n they were slowly breaking us down. suddenly from the middle of the sea of battle, came a huge roar. ragin randal a young student emitted a wave of energy in every direction that utterly destroyed every tank.
after the battle i went over n talked to him for a sec
EL CAPITON VET: HOW THE HELL DID U DO THAT?
RAGIN RANDAL: WELL, THEY WERE OUT OF LINE
el cronin de la casa de blooooooood quest n myself stood on the balcony lookin out on the battlefield. many of ours were killed. heres a list:
TYLER BUSH
DAN SANDS
DIEGO
AUSTIN
TOLGA KULUUSLUSLSUSULSUSLUSSUUUUSUSLSU (THOUGHT HIS PAINTBALL GUN WAS A GOOD WEAPON)
JEREMY LEGUME
KENNY KELLER (FELL APART)
JARED DORFMAN
ALEX MARTIAN
DAN BICKEL
NIEL SOCKEL
MICHHHHHAAEL
MANY MORE
just as the sunlite faded away as we looked upon the carnage cool mikey miles walked up
COOL MIKEY MILES: WUT THE FUCK HAPPENED
EL CAPITON VET: DUDE U MISSED IT WE JUST FOUGHT A WAR AGAINST HUGE ASS TANKS N MR KORN
COOL MIKEY MILES: REALLY? WOW I DIDNT KNOW
EL CRONIN DE LA CASA DE BLOOOOOOOOOOD: PERO SENOR MIKEY, DIDNT U NOT HERE EL BATTLEO - DONDE WERE U?
COOL MIKEY MILES: OH I WAS HAVING DOGGYSTYLE SEX WITH ASHLEY LANDMAN, RACHEL BENTLEY, JEN GLANTZ, JAMIE DORFMAN, GINA, ALEX SWHARTZ, WHITNEY SHATNER, DANIELLE RODGERS AND LIZ LYONS
EL CAPITON VET: WOW... I MEAN WOW - U MUST HAVE BEEN REAL BUSY... WOW DAMN MAN - WOW
LEAFER RODDEN: YO MAN WUZ UP DOGG. WUT UP NIGGA.
NICK QUEST: HEY MAN WHERE THE FUCK U BEEN CHRIS!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
LEAFER RODDEN: YO MAN I WAS LIKE SMOKIN A BLUNT MAN - KNOW WUT IM SAYIN DOGG
EL CAPITON VET N THE WHOLE GANG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - RODDEN U SO CRAZY - HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA