(no subject)
2011 was not a good year, I want to say, and I'm glad to put a stake in its fibrous little heart. But that's not entirely true. Seen in a different light, apart from the losses I suffered (two! in six months!), it was a fine year. My kids are thriving, we are all in good health, my husband has work. We have heat, we have food. We have hope, some of the time. These are not small things, or so I keep reminding myself. And I still have choices. I have to decide what to do with myself. The counselor told me a few days ago that I need to come up with a plan, a way to channel my energy. This was a rather crude way to put things, but I will take it under advisement. I miss my kids. They are here under my roof, but I miss them, their smallness and closeness. I miss having my little E sleeping right next to me, being carried into the grocery store, clinging to my leg when I'm in the kitchen. I miss so much of it. I don't know why I'm so unable to move forward, but time will do some of that for you if you refuse, so here we are, staring down 2012, the supposed end of the world, oy oy!
Let it be a new start. You, my LJ friends, are all facing new trials and (I hope!) joys this year. I truly wish the best for all of you -- and regardless of what happens, it's been a great gift for me to be let in on even the smallest parts of your lives. Happy New Year!
Let it be a new start. You, my LJ friends, are all facing new trials and (I hope!) joys this year. I truly wish the best for all of you -- and regardless of what happens, it's been a great gift for me to be let in on even the smallest parts of your lives. Happy New Year!