Sep 06, 2005 05:24
well I never thaught it would have ended the way it did, im not too happy with it but I did what I had to do. I guess what im worried about the most is that she doesnt care that its over and she will just go out with that cory kid right away. =/ I feel like I didnt spend my time wisely enough with her. I also feel like she didnt actually love me though and im starting to wonder if what we went through was really love. I mean if you love someone you dont cheat on them, or do any of the things that have happened. Ive really been thinking I didnt really sleep last night and I woke up early, my stomach hurts im having an alser. I feel like I did the right thing but I dont want her to move on and forget me so quickly. Isnt it amazing how you think that something could last forever and the next minute your right where you started five months ago. I just wish she hadnt of done the things she had. We had so many good times together how do you just throw them away I cant understand it. Was I not a good enough boyfriend? was it because I argued with her a lot? I dont know I guess I never will know. I just wish it had not of ended like this. I allready know I wont take her back this time its officially over but I do want to stay friends I just hope I can handle that without feeling remorse every time I see her. I sat in my room last night and tore up the picture I had of us together. I just cant beleive its finally over. I envy those who have people who care for them as much as they do. I just dont see how it went wrong =(. If any of this was my fault im sorry...I dont know what to say other than I just wish you had thaught before you did the things youve done and realize what you have thrown away. I feel like nothing I feel like every word I have ever said just ment nothing to her like I was just being used for something and I dont even know what. I gave her the best I had and I guess it wasnt good enough, I just hope the next boy that she finds treats her better than I did...well sorry for ranting guys but ive just been trying to put this into words since last night =/