Drugs! Drugs for Me.... ?!

[salukfan]

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So I just got a prescription for Prozac.  I took the first one, and now I've started reading stories about the drug on the internet.  I am terrified   Thinking that maybe I shouldn't do this at all.  It could be worth experimenting and giving it a shot, because it's seemed to have helped people, but at the same time, I don't think I want to

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[princealia]

lol I probably need something, but I refuse to take drugs of any kind, so I'll just beat off these thoughts with more nothingness \o/

Don't ask me about my Moriarty obsession.

Don't.

[salukfan]

I'm reluctant, but my mother really, really wants me to try them. Part of me feels like there has to be a way to find relief from all this without medication, but at the same time, I've felt depressed for years and it's not really changing much, so...

I've only watched the first two eps, so I haven't seen him yet. I'm excited to!

[princealia]

Yeah, I feel like I get boosts of relief, but the overall state hasn't changed. I'd rather not get hooked on medication, but I don't want to keep feeling the way I have either.

He has ruined me in the best ways possible. I have learned so much about myself through him, which is gonna be weird and probably even fucked up when you meet him but it's explainable I swear XD

[salukfan]

I don't think I'm going to get authentically "better" at all until some real changes happen in my life. I'm debating with myself whether I should try the pills and see if things do get better on them, or just not take them and keep dealing with things as they are and attempting to force it.

... I'm definitely intrigued now, haha.

[princealia]

Same. Have you read this? I'm in the wasteland phase: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Don't be lol. A lot of it won't make sense until series 2, and even then you'll be like "..really?"

[salukfan]

Wow, so much yep in all of this. I've been in the "...I just want to become dead somehow" phase for a long time. It's this weird alternating between wanting to be dead and being petrified of it, because my life can't end on this note. My obituary would suck.

Editing to add that I just read this one (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html) and this is me pretty much every single day. For the last probably 8-10 years. Jesus.

[princealia]

Mine is not wanting my parents to have to pay for my death because I'd STILL be a financial burden. It even costs money to die, fuck.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html

This is me. I just felt so exhausted after school that I almost feel like I'm done with life in general because that's my biggest accomplishment. Now I feel like I'm 19 still when I'm almost fucking 30.

[salukfan]

Which is ridiculous. Can't afford to live, can't afford to die. I don't even believe in heaven and the afterlife, but damn, I wouldn't be surprised if there's a surcharge at the gate. Which I couldn't afford