come fly with me, we'll fly we'll fly away
sharon and I are going to sail the trash boat that is Jamie Carragher/Gary Neville to the ends of the earth
at one point we got kinda into literary parallels with gerlonso but like, that’s just what we do, man
[2:03:43 PM] Sharon: for some terrible reason I'm scrolling thru tumblr and some random person i follow keeps reblogging these hipster quotes
[2:04:05 PM] Sharon: and one of them's like "sometimes don't u just want someone to lay on the floor with you for a while"
[2:05:07 PM] Sharon: and i keep imagining carra sending these emo "i miss missing u" text post style messages to gary at the most INAPPROPRIATE times (pre- press conference gaz gets a text "tfw he holds u in his arms")
[2:05:39 PM] Sharon: actually i just want a fic of them navigating long distance bizarrely successfully while stevie whispers how in the background
[2:32:03 PM] Sabina: oh my god
[2:32:09 PM] Sabina: no i love it
[2:32:38 PM] Sabina: gary the whole time slightly unsure if carra is being ironic or if he's actually tragically pining away back in england and not knowing is THROWING HIM FOR A LOOP
[2:32:55 PM] Sabina: like he's 99% sure that carra's just messing with him
[2:33:27 PM] Sabina: but sometimes there's like 1% of doubt
[2:34:35 PM] Sabina: but he doesn't want to say anything bc he's 99% sure that carra's messing with him and carra would totally die and never let him forget it that he was worried about jamie carragher's emo feels
[2:34:43 PM] Sabina: 99% sure
[2:35:35 PM] Sabina: (also stevie being despairing bc when he and xabi send those texts they're 1000% SRS)
[2:36:36 PM] Sabina: the problem is that carra and gary are both assholes and xabi's a snake and stevie's decent to a fault :')))
[2:36:42 PM] Sabina: i love these relationships
[2:38:09 PM] Sharon: BASICALLY!!!!!!!! I LOVE U U GET ME SO WELL
[2:38:26 PM] Sharon: "the problem is that carra and gary are both assholes and xabi's a snake and stevie's decent to a fault" I K RRRRR
[2:38:42 PM] Sharon: I THINK ITS HILARIOUS THAT CARRAVILLE'S BASICALLY THIS PARODY OF GERLONSO
[2:39:06 PM] Sharon: I'm falling apart because I'm scrolling thru abba's discography and wanting to write a fic for every single song title
[2:39:42 PM] Sharon: "He Is Your Brother" Phil's confused as to why the hell gary keeps shiftily checking his texts in the middle of meetings
[2:40:31 PM] Sharon: "Why Did It Have to Be Me?" weeping
[2:40:37 PM] Sharon: why do i get my kicks this way
[2:41:02 PM] Sharon: can u imagine the attempts to phone sex
[2:41:32 PM] Sharon: carra: "no stop describing ur dick start describing liverpool's performance in the last match" gary: "wtf"
[2:43:36 PM] Sabina: "carraville's basically this parody of gerlonso" EXACTLY OH MY GOD
[2:44:13 PM] Sabina: and like...even more meta bc to some extent in footballing terms carra and gaz are like....better? somehow? than stevie and xabi?
[2:44:21 PM] Sabina: bc they're both successful one-club men
[2:44:48 PM] Sabina: so in the eyes of pure statistics they're actually more loyal even though under the word 'loyal' in the dictionary it's a fucking picture of steven gerrard
[2:44:59 PM] Sabina: and xabi's the typical journeyman
[2:45:39 PM] Sabina: xabi goes to spain...stevie gives several tearful interviews, continues to sadly instagram about it for years
[2:46:01 PM] Sabina: gary goes to spain...carra banters him off on twitter, gives no fucks
[2:46:11 PM] Sabina: xabi and stevie have a perfect understanding on the pitch
[2:46:22 PM] Sabina: carra and gary get in physical altercations on the pitch
[2:46:53 PM] Sabina: and yet somehow it's not stevie and xabi's relationship that's the more intact
[2:47:17 PM] Sabina: what great narrative parallels and commentary on the nature of love! IT'S LITERATURE
[2:47:51 PM] Sabina: (also abba is TOTALLY PERFECT I'M CRYING bc like. compare abba and the national. that's these two pairings)
[2:48:19 PM] Sabina: 'carra: "no stop describing ur dick start describing liverpool's performance in the last match" gary: "wtf"'
[2:48:29 PM] Sabina: I'M SCREM AING THIS WOULD HAPPEN
[2:48:43 PM] Sabina: THEY START ARGUING FORMATIONS AND SOMEHOW STILL MANAGE TO GET OFF I HATE THEM SO MUCH
[2:48:47 PM] Sabina: they are perfect
[2:55:30 PM] Sharon: oh my god i didn't even think of that but its so real. it's like, (getting srs here), gary and carra had pretty great careers all in all but they were like...defenders? and they didnt have these huge highs and lows and dramas and they got to stay with the clubs they loved and thats almost, like, lucky
[2:55:53 PM] Sharon: actually beautiful parallels we are blessed to live in this world lm a ooooo
[2:56:00 PM] Sharon: ABBA VS THE NATIONAL IM WEEPING
[2:56:41 PM] Sharon: oh god i keep listening to knowing me knowing you and like, its this sad break up melodramatic song but at the same time its freaking. abba. kind of encompasses how i feel about this entire gnevs to spain episode
[2:56:52 PM] Sharon: NOW I DEADASS WANT TO WRITE PHONESEX
[2:57:00 PM] Sharon: "THEY START ARGUING FORMATIONS AND SOMEHOW STILL MANAGE TO GET OFF I HATE THEM SO MUCH" SERIOUSLY THOUGH
[2:58:27 PM] Sharon: "WHAT the FUCK we can't play the 4-3-2-1" "nO fuCK YOU CARRAGHER" "OH YEAH?" "YEAH" "YOU BET YOU WERE HERE HUH" "YEAH" yelling+furious wanking thru the phone
[2:58:37 PM] Sharon: i could call it ring, ring after the timeless abba tradition
[2:58:40 PM] Sharon: I'm losing it lmfao
[2:59:27 PM] Sharon: shit i just have this terrible image of carra phoning gary up and saying "hello. it's me." because that adele song is so deadass gerlonso
[2:59:51 PM] Sharon: remember when we were so sad about gerlonso and now we're parodying it. is this what happens after so much angst
[3:01:33 PM] Sabina: hello is SUCH a gerlonso song and carra would TOTALLY use it
[3:01:49 PM] Sabina: we've really reached a new tier....
[3:01:58 PM] Sabina: also PLEASE write a phonesex fic bc. um
[3:02:36 PM] Sabina: like carra calls up gary and gary's like 'wat u want' and carra's like 'i'm watching liverpool but the commentators are total shite and don't know what they're talking about'
[3:02:48 PM] Sabina: gary: what do you want me to do about it, i'm in spain fer chrissakes
[3:03:02 PM] Sabina: carra: turn on your television and give me better commentary, OBVIOUSLY
[3:03:24 PM] Sharon: oH MY GOD
[3:03:25 PM] Sabina: and gary ends up doing the commentary for carra over the phone while they both watch
[3:03:43 PM] Sharon: GARY: "WAIT. ARE U WANKING"
[3:04:11 PM] Sabina: mmmmmmmmrrrmgmmggghghghh
[3:04:23 PM] Sabina: carra: ........ yeah, what dyou have to say about it
[3:05:17 PM] Sharon: gary: u could've give me a heads up
[3:05:25 PM] Sharon: gary: now I'm gonna have to catch up
[3:05:34 PM] Sharon: carra: but then who would do the commentary
[3:05:37 PM] Sabina: omg
[3:05:45 PM] Sabina: gary: you're such a selfish prick, carragher
[3:05:53 PM] Sabina: carra: mm, you can say that again
[3:05:56 PM] Sharon: IM LAUGHIGN
[3:06:11 PM] Sharon: gary: horrified silence while carra happily jerks himself off
[3:06:27 PM] Sabina: HONESTLY WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
[3:06:29 PM] Sharon: I'm laughing so hard what the heck sabs
[3:07:02 PM] Sabina: i can;t believe
[3:07:34 PM] Sabina: please write this fic
[3:07:57 PM] Sharon: c...oll....aaaaab.......
[3:08:03 PM] Sabina: first collab: dreamy piece about nando growing up
[3:08:10 PM] Sabina: second collab: carraville phone sex