May 17, 2005 21:46
Ok, I leave for London and Europe in 6 days. It seems like things are coming along slowly, but I know I'll get everything together before I leave. I may not have everything I want done and everything I may have wanted to take with me on the trip, but oh well...
I'm getting really really nervous. I'm prolly gonna get the shits. My stomach hurts SO bad right now. I feel like crying. I don't really cry. It's actually really really hard to get me to cry (very easy tho to get me embarrassed).
Something great has been happening to me the past couple weeks. I'm afraid that it's not going to be there once I return back from Europe. I think I'm nervous about that. Maybe that's what I'm so nervous about. Maybe it's tonight. I feel like something is there. Should I pursue something now? Or shall I wait? Because I think that if I do something now, I'll be more attached, and then I'll be gone for 3 1/2 weeks, and I am afraid that the greatness is going to move on and not want anything upon my arrival. Ughh, suuuucks...so long had I not been interested in anyone and then something pops up RIGHT when I'm about to leave. But seriously, 3 1/2 weeks is NOTHING compared to the 65 days I had initially planned on spending overseas on a different study program.
I really need to stop thinking about all this...get what it is that I need to get done and enjoy myself. I know I will, it's just weirder when you don't know anyone else that's going on this thing with you. Extroversion, I really need you now.