5 days and the world changes!
there are those certain people, whose eyes you never really grow up in...and normally it irritates the crap out of people, but at times i like to sit and enjoy when they take over, because i dont have to, even though with a little effort id be just fine....
speaking of effort, i put very little to none into this last year of high school and who can blame me, i didnt need to. yet i wonder if i wish i had...this has been the best year of my life, but none of it has been educational...i keep saying how much i have changed, and im waiting for all of the changing to stop, or slow down a bit...im not even the same person i was 3 months ago...some may see it, others may not...but i know it...i dont even think about the same things anymore, and my priorities are different, and its too much change to write down...
i went to length to change my date, so i could be there for yours, sadly it didn't work out, and i think that it is more of big deal to me than you...i doubt you'd notice or care, yet in that small chance you did i wanted to be there...i guess i will let things go as they will even without my choice...i had let go, only for you to reposition in my mind.
i only have 5 days left of my high school career, and it's simply just weird...i have already started to see and hear some of the changes that are to come next year...and damnit i'm tyring to let them all go...so many things i wouldnt of let happen...so many things i would have said something different, or something period about...i have to remind myself that this is no longer my school, it was my high school, yet no longer is my own...
i hate (not really, but the word fits, as it usually does in common discussion) that i didnt get myself together earlier in high school...i missed out on more than i had ever imagined...and now with 5 days left and some faces i may not see for a while...and all the faces i wont see very often, it makes me sigh that somethings may never be, because i was too alone and lost to let them happen earlier...
something hit me, and i have nothing there for you anymore...yes yes...it was gone before, but any slight feeling, like even the haha your funny thing, is gone...i dont know, i guess i've completely moved on? cliche...
i cant wait to completely waste my first pay check...shop shop shop...
so the three day festival is coming up this weekend...i dont think we will make it three but we will for two! I will be sure to document it all! I love throw aways...you can sit on them, and they dont even care...
Summer starts in 5 days!!!