Opening Game against Nanwalek Nauyans
Fans Outraged as Peacekeepers Win Opening Game
Accusations of blatant cheating mar the victory of the Peacekeepers opening game, with a 2-0 win against the Nanwalek Nauyans.
On condition of anonymity, a league official was recorded as saying “I don’t care if it was a shut out, digging a trench in front of the net, and then filling the net with snow is not a fair way to play hockey.”
The first period was spent with the Peacekeepers huddled around their net, trying to keep warm around an impromptu camp fire made out of some of their equipment, and kindled with shattered hockey sticks, shattered because several were broken in the opening minutes of the game in melee combat with the Nanwalek offensive line.
“They come near net, we thump them good, ya?” stated Peacekeepers Goalie Cpl Pants/cotton/olive drab, formerly of the French foreign legion.
In the second period the offensive line captured the Ice Resurfacing machine and proceeded to assault the Nanwalek goal, and driving the entire zamboni into the net, they were able to score their first goal.
In the third period, the Peacekeepers goalie had dug a trench from in front of the net, and had filled it with ice chips, and snow from the ice surfacing machine, and with the net secured began a one man offensive against the shell-shocked visiting Nauyans.
“It was like he had three times the amount of goalie padding, and all of it seemed to be sharp.” stated a fan. Eventually after fighting referees for several minutes foiling their attempt to have him forcibly ejected from the game, Cpl Pants/cotton/olive drab was able to score the second goal of the game, making the final score 2-0 for the Peacekeepers.
Is this Hockey? Or has the UN gone savage? Even now the BHL may be re-writing the rules to prohibit the use of offensive hockey pads. Tune in for the peacekeepers next game against the Roots and Shoots on Nov. 19th.