um..
wow its been years...practicallly.
So much has happened it is impossible for me to even pretend that i'm going to type it all. I've been though some interesting things these past months. My cousin started college and succeded in making me realize that life as I know it is coming to an end...college is coming and I need to decided where I want to live the next for years of my life...a decision that i'm petrefied to make. Senior has started with something new...I met a guy that for a while seemed and did make me happy (a feeling I don't often expirience) he was and is an awesome guy....but my dumbass brain got in the way like it enjoys doing. I thought about college, friends, and family and everything I knew and know i'm going to have to leave behind...I knew that getting close to him would add one more thing to the list that I most defenitly would not want to leave...so I ended it...a decision that I do not regret but one that will haunt me. I feel what I did was right for me and him but I hate having to hurt someone that made me happy at one point...but whats done is done and it was for the best...life goes on and I have to learn to too.
Aside from the usual sap story...because well what else is livejournal for?...I continue hanging out with the jAsper people...that i've come to love. lol. Taking picture has over taken my life and what better subject to take them of but of the people that make me laugh and are there for me every weekend. I still love my best friend Natalie to death and i've realized that life away from her is going to be impossible...while we have our fights and want to cut eachother up at that time of the month, I really don't know what I would do without her. Her random thoughts and our hyper moments and just all of our stupidities are what make my life normal...as odd as that sounds. She is all i've known for 8 years now...and having to leave that behind is going to be really hard. I guess you have to do what you have to do...no matter how much it hurts and how hard you KNOW its going to be.
As for finding the right guy right now...there has been nothing...sure a few prospects here and there but nothing that I can think of sticking...but at the same time I go back to my ex and I realize that what I did was right and that I don't want to do that to anyone else.
wow...I had forgotten just how emo livejournal can really get you (excuse the 5 million type-os but i'm too lazy to read over it)