Argh!
It's been a long time since I last posted! Argh! Oh well, such is life. I have just started my personal statement for my masters school application. Talk about drawn out torture. I hate writing about myself like this, especially when it means trying to sell myself sincerely. Do you know how hard it is trying to talk about why I became a social worker without making Alaska look like a barren wasteland of social problems? I want to keep it positive, and hopeful, and incorporate the strengths perspective, but it's so freaking hard. I want to incorporate individuals triumphing over problems with the help of social programs, but many of the people I know that made me want to get into social work had little or no success, and instead were trapped by the system. Argh! I hate personal essays! Maybe I should just be honest and let them deal with gritty reality, as long as I can keep from sounding disillusioned (which I'm not, really). I think I've just banged my head against the wall one two many times goes "damn the system!" I have seen many positive things done and accomplished within "the system" but it's usually after a lot of bureaucracy. Which makes it hard to explain why I want to be a bureaucrat... Is it possible to be a positive force within a bureaucracy, or do you eventually become so entrenched that you're just one more cog in the wheel, effecting no positive change? Why do we have to involve so many people in each person's life, with so much paperwork? I guess the end reward is worth it, I do enjoy helping others, but maybe I want to end up in a small nonprofit in the end. One that can stay dynamic when it responds to problems. Which is so weird considering I used to really want to work for the state. I guess perspectives change with new experiences. Anyways, enough ranting. I best get back to work.