(no subject)
omg, i'm having SUCH a bad day today. it's obviously so bad that i have to complain about it to someone and because i know no one will understand me enough to talk to them i thought i'd finally update my journal and bitch online. i forgot how good it feels to just spit my feelings out in type.
To start things off, work has been hectic and seems to ALWAYS be on my mind. it's really hard to feel totally distracted at all times. like everywhere i go i have something on my mind that i really can't talk about because it doesn't really relate to anything that anyone else has going on. i don't know if this makes sense and i really don't care, this is for me to vent not for you to read. meh. i'm just bitter.
anyways, so aside from work being CONSTANTLY on my mind, i feel today like my chest is going to implode. i've had this edge-of-anxiety-attack feeling going on all week (and by all week i mean for the past 2 months), and i think today it's reaching its peak. i seem to have gotten tired of being around people, including loved ones. i just want to be alone. for like, 5 minutes. i want to not feel obligated to be somewhere at all times. i want to not feel like i owe it to people to be there for them, to be happy all the time, to be there when they want me to be. i know this sounds selfish. i know that. but i don't care. i want to do something for myself for the first time in ages. and i don't mean getting a new hair do or buying a new pair of shoes. i mean i want to go away for a weekend alone. go to a movie by myself. grab a drink on a patio and just read a book. do whatever the fuck I feel like doing at that exact moment. i'm tired of feeling like i wake up every morning just to go about my day and do as others tell me. and i'm completely overreacting, i know that too. but this is how i feel at this exact moment and if that's what i want to write then that's what i'll write.
and the funny thing is that what really threw me off today was just a bad customer service experience at black's photography. go figure.
i deal with major stupidity at work everyday all day long, and i get one day of bad service and i lose it. i feel very bad for kathleen at black's and i'd like to publicly apologize to her for how rude i was. but i just snapped. long story short, i dropped off rolls to be developed, went to pick them up and they weren't ready. they told me to come back at 5. so at 445 i called to make sure they'd be ready at 5 on the dot. the woman put me on hold to check and said that yes, they would be ready. i went in at 510. they told me they were NOT ready and that they would NOT be ready until 7pm. i was so fuming angry i thought i would cry. (but that's just my anxiety/hormones/whatever the fuck) so after she offered me 50% off and a free roll of film for my 'inconvenience' i told her to go to the back, take my fucking rolls out of their fucking machine and just give them to me.
i dont' feel like talking about this anymore.
i don't want to talk about anything anymore.
To start things off, work has been hectic and seems to ALWAYS be on my mind. it's really hard to feel totally distracted at all times. like everywhere i go i have something on my mind that i really can't talk about because it doesn't really relate to anything that anyone else has going on. i don't know if this makes sense and i really don't care, this is for me to vent not for you to read. meh. i'm just bitter.
anyways, so aside from work being CONSTANTLY on my mind, i feel today like my chest is going to implode. i've had this edge-of-anxiety-attack feeling going on all week (and by all week i mean for the past 2 months), and i think today it's reaching its peak. i seem to have gotten tired of being around people, including loved ones. i just want to be alone. for like, 5 minutes. i want to not feel obligated to be somewhere at all times. i want to not feel like i owe it to people to be there for them, to be happy all the time, to be there when they want me to be. i know this sounds selfish. i know that. but i don't care. i want to do something for myself for the first time in ages. and i don't mean getting a new hair do or buying a new pair of shoes. i mean i want to go away for a weekend alone. go to a movie by myself. grab a drink on a patio and just read a book. do whatever the fuck I feel like doing at that exact moment. i'm tired of feeling like i wake up every morning just to go about my day and do as others tell me. and i'm completely overreacting, i know that too. but this is how i feel at this exact moment and if that's what i want to write then that's what i'll write.
and the funny thing is that what really threw me off today was just a bad customer service experience at black's photography. go figure.
i deal with major stupidity at work everyday all day long, and i get one day of bad service and i lose it. i feel very bad for kathleen at black's and i'd like to publicly apologize to her for how rude i was. but i just snapped. long story short, i dropped off rolls to be developed, went to pick them up and they weren't ready. they told me to come back at 5. so at 445 i called to make sure they'd be ready at 5 on the dot. the woman put me on hold to check and said that yes, they would be ready. i went in at 510. they told me they were NOT ready and that they would NOT be ready until 7pm. i was so fuming angry i thought i would cry. (but that's just my anxiety/hormones/whatever the fuck) so after she offered me 50% off and a free roll of film for my 'inconvenience' i told her to go to the back, take my fucking rolls out of their fucking machine and just give them to me.
i dont' feel like talking about this anymore.
i don't want to talk about anything anymore.