Waxa-my-snatchie
The number one reason I don't like coming back to Waxahachie, Texas: the people. Except for my weight and (hopefully) my fashion sense, I look exactly the same as I have since I was about 12... and that put me at a disadvantage when visiting my home town.
People who recognize me in Waxahachie generally fall into these categories:
1: people I've never met, but have slept with one of my siblings:
My two brothers and my sister never really left our town and have become a bit notorious for their carousing. Their exes usually come up to me in a bar and have a story or a complaint about a member of my family. They often give me messages that I never remember to deliver. A typical interaction might start off like... "I know you are Butch's sister, I can tell by the eyes."
2: people who work with my dad:
Daddy has been at the same factory for about 25 years. He was the leader of the union for the past 8 years, so there is literally no one in the entire factory that doesn't know his name. There are several hundred employees and they and their wives all know what I look like, where I went to University and what countries I have lived in. The phrase 'knee-high to a grasshopper' is usually uttered and they often express their pride in all of my accomplishments. I usually pretend I remember who they are.... I mean, Daddy has to get elected next year, right? "Oh My LORD, you are Steve Walker's oldest! I remember seeing you in that green uniform every friday night! Last I heard, you were living in the Ko-Rea. You know, me and my husband are so proud of you...."
3: people I really should recognize: You know, it sucks when this happens, but sometimes people just look different than they did 10 years ago, you know? These people come up and are excited to see me, but are pretty disappointed when I don't know them. This happened to me this evening when a boy I went to church with for the better part of 10 years came over to say hi. "I'll give you a hint, we have the same last name.... really? You still don't know?"
4: people I might have had some contact with but don't really know: This happens to me all the time and it is almost always the same story; we were in band together. When I was a senior, I was the president of the marching band (laugh all you want) and there were 170 members. That's a lot of people.... and they are everywhere. The makeup counter girl, the manager of Chick-Fillet, the security guard.... it even happened at my sister's wedding. A girl came up and told me she was 14 when I was 17. Her first week of high school was pretty hard.... "You came over and said something really nice and it made all the difference in the world, but you probably don't remember, so that's ok."
5: people I know and might have even been friends of mine: This is by far the worst and most depressing. After talking to them I feel like a proper snob. My best friend in fourth grade works is a cashier at Wal-Mart. The saxophone player I almost liked is thrice divorced and can be found at Gamestop. My first kiss just got out of prison.... "We need to catch up! What's your phone number?"
People who recognize me in Waxahachie generally fall into these categories:
1: people I've never met, but have slept with one of my siblings:
My two brothers and my sister never really left our town and have become a bit notorious for their carousing. Their exes usually come up to me in a bar and have a story or a complaint about a member of my family. They often give me messages that I never remember to deliver. A typical interaction might start off like... "I know you are Butch's sister, I can tell by the eyes."
2: people who work with my dad:
Daddy has been at the same factory for about 25 years. He was the leader of the union for the past 8 years, so there is literally no one in the entire factory that doesn't know his name. There are several hundred employees and they and their wives all know what I look like, where I went to University and what countries I have lived in. The phrase 'knee-high to a grasshopper' is usually uttered and they often express their pride in all of my accomplishments. I usually pretend I remember who they are.... I mean, Daddy has to get elected next year, right? "Oh My LORD, you are Steve Walker's oldest! I remember seeing you in that green uniform every friday night! Last I heard, you were living in the Ko-Rea. You know, me and my husband are so proud of you...."
3: people I really should recognize: You know, it sucks when this happens, but sometimes people just look different than they did 10 years ago, you know? These people come up and are excited to see me, but are pretty disappointed when I don't know them. This happened to me this evening when a boy I went to church with for the better part of 10 years came over to say hi. "I'll give you a hint, we have the same last name.... really? You still don't know?"
4: people I might have had some contact with but don't really know: This happens to me all the time and it is almost always the same story; we were in band together. When I was a senior, I was the president of the marching band (laugh all you want) and there were 170 members. That's a lot of people.... and they are everywhere. The makeup counter girl, the manager of Chick-Fillet, the security guard.... it even happened at my sister's wedding. A girl came up and told me she was 14 when I was 17. Her first week of high school was pretty hard.... "You came over and said something really nice and it made all the difference in the world, but you probably don't remember, so that's ok."
5: people I know and might have even been friends of mine: This is by far the worst and most depressing. After talking to them I feel like a proper snob. My best friend in fourth grade works is a cashier at Wal-Mart. The saxophone player I almost liked is thrice divorced and can be found at Gamestop. My first kiss just got out of prison.... "We need to catch up! What's your phone number?"