Vote Saxon.
I finally watched one of these presidential candidate debate thingies all the way through. (Because Patt told me to lolz*.) The most important thing I learned was that Wolf Blitzer is really, really annoying.
Barry Hussein: Awww he sucks at debates. I honestly think he performed the worst. What's with the constant stammering, Barry? Aren't you supposed to be a great orator? He was like a kid with a speech impediment who's getting angrier and angrier because he can't spit out what he's trying to say while being taunted by bullies. Also, he has obviously been coached by his advisers to say things like "When I'm President...", but he says it with so little conviction, and tacks it onto the ends of his responses so perfunctorily, that it just becomes so very pathetic. Oh Barry, you might as well go get an orange tan, start wearing eyeliner, and secretly not want to have babies with your fiancee.
$400 Haircut: Oooo he's bitchy in a passive-aggressive, "*ahem* some people..." way. Me like. But he's also, um, kind of phony? In a used car salesman kind of way? More than the average politician, I mean. Out of everyone on stage, he came off as the most hypocritical. I don't know, maybe it's just because he got called out on his contradictions the most blatantly.
Musharraf's BFF: Lol I think he might be my favorite candidate now? Not for President, but just, you know, in general. (This is about Biden, btw.) I have to pick my favorites from the second tier because you all know about my inability to like anyone (fictional or real) that's too obvious a choice. And Uncle Joe wins over Richardson by a hair because he's snarky and has an overt "this is retarded" attitude toward Blitzen's stupider questions, and that wins every time with me. (Barry is usually also pretty calling-out-BS-esque in interviews, but he completely loses it in debates for some reason.)
Beel Reechardson: Awww he is so very, very earnest. And so very, very desperate. All "I negotiate peace treaties! I save hostages! I was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize four times! The Nobel Peace Prize! Four times! Why won't you like me? Please like me. Pretty please? I'll give you cookies if you like me. Cookies! And ice cream! And a hug!" It's actually quite endearing. The earnestness overshadows the desperateness. If forced to pick the person I actually want to be President (as opposed to the person I like for lolz), I might go with Richardson. (Well, or Barry. I haven't completely jumped off of that bandwagon yet.)
DoddPod: Awww sorry, DoddPod. You're the boringest out of the three second tiers, so no one cares about you. That unexpected Spanish rant was awesome though. If you keep doing stunts like that for the next forty-seven debates, people might begin to sort of vaguely remember who you are. (I'm mean. :/ )
Forest Sprite: He's...a lot less likable now that I've seen him speak in context. To be fair, I would be pissed off and unlikable too if Blitzen never lets me talk while all the other candidates are spewing useless crap. But it's like...Richardson is earnest and sincere but all about peace and bunnies, and Haircut is angry and in attack-mode but you know he's at least partially acting angry for political effect, but Spritey is earnestly angry, and that somehow becomes a turnoff. It shouldn't be, but it is, because I guess he sometimes crosses over into rudeness territory? I don't know.
HillaryCareBear: She needs to be less guarded/strategic. A lot less. Everything she says sounds thoroughly rehearsed, so she comes off as detached and going through the motions, which she probably is at this point, but come on, make an effort. Also, she needs to stop talking about winning. Everyone else at least pretends to care about the American people or whatever, while she's basically "Screw the American people. I just want to win." I'm not jumping on the Hillary!Hate bandwagon; she just really, really need to relax. And stop talking about winning.
*Haha not really. We had a fireside with Patt a week ago, and he kept trying to talk about politics because he's a hippie, but none of us were biting because we've all been conditioned to avoid politics in public situations. Then Patt ranted about people being politically illiterate. Then Patt was unnecessarily overjoyed at our knowing who Stephen Colbert is. Then Patt started fanboying Ron Paul, and that was when he lost me. Oh Patt, no. Just no. Then Patt told us to watch the debates. The end.
Barry Hussein: Awww he sucks at debates. I honestly think he performed the worst. What's with the constant stammering, Barry? Aren't you supposed to be a great orator? He was like a kid with a speech impediment who's getting angrier and angrier because he can't spit out what he's trying to say while being taunted by bullies. Also, he has obviously been coached by his advisers to say things like "When I'm President...", but he says it with so little conviction, and tacks it onto the ends of his responses so perfunctorily, that it just becomes so very pathetic. Oh Barry, you might as well go get an orange tan, start wearing eyeliner, and secretly not want to have babies with your fiancee.
$400 Haircut: Oooo he's bitchy in a passive-aggressive, "*ahem* some people..." way. Me like. But he's also, um, kind of phony? In a used car salesman kind of way? More than the average politician, I mean. Out of everyone on stage, he came off as the most hypocritical. I don't know, maybe it's just because he got called out on his contradictions the most blatantly.
Musharraf's BFF: Lol I think he might be my favorite candidate now? Not for President, but just, you know, in general. (This is about Biden, btw.) I have to pick my favorites from the second tier because you all know about my inability to like anyone (fictional or real) that's too obvious a choice. And Uncle Joe wins over Richardson by a hair because he's snarky and has an overt "this is retarded" attitude toward Blitzen's stupider questions, and that wins every time with me. (Barry is usually also pretty calling-out-BS-esque in interviews, but he completely loses it in debates for some reason.)
Beel Reechardson: Awww he is so very, very earnest. And so very, very desperate. All "I negotiate peace treaties! I save hostages! I was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize four times! The Nobel Peace Prize! Four times! Why won't you like me? Please like me. Pretty please? I'll give you cookies if you like me. Cookies! And ice cream! And a hug!" It's actually quite endearing. The earnestness overshadows the desperateness. If forced to pick the person I actually want to be President (as opposed to the person I like for lolz), I might go with Richardson. (Well, or Barry. I haven't completely jumped off of that bandwagon yet.)
DoddPod: Awww sorry, DoddPod. You're the boringest out of the three second tiers, so no one cares about you. That unexpected Spanish rant was awesome though. If you keep doing stunts like that for the next forty-seven debates, people might begin to sort of vaguely remember who you are. (I'm mean. :/ )
Forest Sprite: He's...a lot less likable now that I've seen him speak in context. To be fair, I would be pissed off and unlikable too if Blitzen never lets me talk while all the other candidates are spewing useless crap. But it's like...Richardson is earnest and sincere but all about peace and bunnies, and Haircut is angry and in attack-mode but you know he's at least partially acting angry for political effect, but Spritey is earnestly angry, and that somehow becomes a turnoff. It shouldn't be, but it is, because I guess he sometimes crosses over into rudeness territory? I don't know.
HillaryCareBear: She needs to be less guarded/strategic. A lot less. Everything she says sounds thoroughly rehearsed, so she comes off as detached and going through the motions, which she probably is at this point, but come on, make an effort. Also, she needs to stop talking about winning. Everyone else at least pretends to care about the American people or whatever, while she's basically "Screw the American people. I just want to win." I'm not jumping on the Hillary!Hate bandwagon; she just really, really need to relax. And stop talking about winning.
*Haha not really. We had a fireside with Patt a week ago, and he kept trying to talk about politics because he's a hippie, but none of us were biting because we've all been conditioned to avoid politics in public situations. Then Patt ranted about people being politically illiterate. Then Patt was unnecessarily overjoyed at our knowing who Stephen Colbert is. Then Patt started fanboying Ron Paul, and that was when he lost me. Oh Patt, no. Just no. Then Patt told us to watch the debates. The end.