I wanna do bad things to you?
I just finished reading Twilight, and oh my god, it's so gloriously awful. It's like the most egregious form of a Fanon!Draco self-insertion fic: every single character is a blatant MarySue, the male lead is explicitly described as "perfect" on every other page, the female lead is selfish and annoying and useless, the love at first sight plot is nonsensical, purple prose is taken to a whole new level, and the treatment of vampire lore is incredibly shallow, with the gory death parts completely glossed over. In conclusion, there's a 9 people long waiting list for New Moon at my university library, so I'm going have to go renew my local public library card. The end.
(I don't know how to use this newfangled internet thing with its bittorrents and scribds and twitters.)